Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Review

This book is a step up for self-improvement if you already read Dale Carnegie’s. Some of the concepts from Carnegie’s book are also found in this with added stories and specific points to drive the lesson home. Like the other book, I’m not really fond of presenting the lesson in a story-telling fashion but this works for those times when you don’t want to stress yourself thinking too much and let your eyes cruise through paragraphs absorbing it all.

Now there are plenty of reviews you can Google about the book and I happen to find one here that makes the right bullet points. But there are actually more of these lessons described beyond what the table of contents. Now when I read a book and evaluate whether it was something that was worth my time, I keep a mental note about what the plot of the book was. If I can’t remember the details or make a cohesive plot after months of seeing the book cover, it just means I never learned the lesson well enough as it flew by the window.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff as a title jogs my memory of what the contents of the book were even after years since I last came upon it.

The most important lesson I took from the book is having the habit of stepping back if the situation isn’t an emergency and think over what you need to do after assessing the situation even for the most benign things. I know it sounds like a generic lesson but this has made wonders over the small sources of stresses need to encounter on a daily basis. After some application, my thinking shifted to a long term perspective and everything that’s big right now is just a phase.

In a lifestyle that favors immediate response on non-urgent questions, the ability to take a step back and think seems like a luxury. How many times did you unconsciously have to provide an important answer to a question that can wait? Were you rushed by the person you're talking to or was the impulse innate?

Sometimes my job occasionally involves dealing with people outside the hospital lab setting. Some patients and folks aren’t literate so you have to extend more patience explaining what you think is an alphabet level of instructions. This isn’t a problem unless you work at a high stress environment where everything requires some snappy decisions frequently. When you explain these laboratory tests are important and why, they look at you puzzled because not only do they have to think about why these tests are important, they also need to think about where to source the money to afford these tests.

When someone spills coffee on my white uniform first thing in the morning, I know people are going to be upset and act like their entire day is ruined. I know I used to have those fits internally. But if those coffee stains are an accident, there’s no need to break social bridges over one episode of coffee mishap. You can express frustration verbally but maybe, just maybe, take a step back and ask yourself whether the one who spilled the coffee also wants to shrink back into a corner wishing it never happened too?

Someone cut in front of you while waiting in line? Let it go. Someone said mean things about you? Take a step back and try to see things from their point of view. It takes only a series of bad events or one big event that could push the nicest person you know off their usual self and you may just be the unlucky soul that crossed the line at the wrong time.
It's not necessary to win every argument at the cost of breaking social ties. Sometimes people can just stay stupid shit for a moment but these can be a product of other factors they may or may not be in control.

They’re not mature to be held accountable for their actions, they operated on what they thought was right during that time given the information they had going for them, they had a bad day, they had all sorts of stuff happening in their lives that you could never possibly know to make them act that way. And you just happen to see them not at their best.
This is why taking a step back to think matters. It’s hard because our destructive habits to reach a quick conclusion can be our source of self-sabotage.

Also consider that nobody operates thinking that they’re in the wrong, even if you think so. When wars are fought, both sides are in the right and a war hero on one side is a war criminal on the other side. The point I’m trying to get at is abusing the ability to take a step back and weigh the consequences of your actions from a long term perspective.

When your shift is over, after a day, a week, few months to years, would a simple event that upset you be really worth the war you want to fight for at the present moment? The woes that we have for this moment don’t matter as time flows forward and they’ll all be silly memories.

I once learned of a beautiful idiom shared by @traciyork “the hill do die on”. When I heard the idiom first, I thought of this book. A lot of the important things we think may just be unimportant and we’re the ones being our own demons tormenting over the small stuff.

A side lesson I also learned is trying to force multitasking isn’t a good thing. You think it makes you efficient accomplishing tasks at once but it doesn’t necessarily follow that those tasks will end up with quality finish. Multitasking can come off as tolerating multiple sources of distraction while trying to be effective. You may succeed over small tasks but not the bigger ones and it’s those big tasks that can be your undoing if you mess up.

Another lesson was the yearning to find time to relax not being wrong. I know for people accustomed to taking it easy may find this obvious but not for workaholics. I lived a life where I spent a lot of time trying to excel in the academics and working. This led me to dislike the thought of sleeping because hours spent sleeping meant less hours spent accomplishing tasks. I know for some who read this may find it absurd but this is how I used to see what I used to be. I wanted more time to accomplish tasks I thought were important so I had to skip sleep, meals, and felt guilt over time spent idly.

Trying to be productive isn’t wrong but if it’s costing you your future health then it’s time to rethink.

Naturally, burning out was inevitable. But I have come into terms with getting a better sleeping and eating schedule to commit to. It’s also your job to rest because you owe it to the people you serve not to make mistakes while sleep deprived or starved. That’s a lesson I had to keep on relearning to this day due to how demanding my job can be at times. I’d draw, sleep and watch anime as a means of negotiating the bad habits of overworking myself. No more 8 cups of coffee and sleeping 2-3 hours a day.

It’s still best to read the reflect on the lessons one day at a time then find some creative ways to apply those lessons for reinforcement. Reading a book doesn’t increase your patience, makes you charismatic, sociable, and better overall in just a day or two. The same energy where you don’t become good leaders just by attending a three-day seminar trying to become one.

I said this before on the other book review, when it comes to self-improvement, that stuff takes time a long time and the changes you see in yourself may not be as noticeable to others. But one of the hallmarks that you’re on the right track are others bringing up those small changes they noticed about you and also your internal pace to these changes.

If you made it this far reading, thank you for your time.