My life in what if....

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Have always been a curious and a quick learner, I remember when growing up I can literally read something once and remember it exact same way with every details. Though I still have the ability to do that but not in the way it used to be.
Recently I always find myself being scared of nothing and sometimes it’s being a failure because I know a lot of people are depending on me to carry them along. Sometimes I just sit and think to myself what if?

What if I don’t be become successful and help my family? because I know how I grew up, growing up was rocky road, I grew up with my step-mom and it wasn’t an easy journey. I got to know my mom when I was seven (7) years old and it was strange seeing her introduce herself to me. When I got older I go to understand that my parents got separated when I was six months old due to quarrel they had and my dad didn’t allow her take me because she wasn’t having the financial means to do that.

Along the line as I grew older I got to spend time with my mum and I see her struggle every day to meet ends meet and it’s not always pleasing, so that’s why I have to do everything possible to make sure being successful is must.

What if I was a girl? First of all being a male child is already a responsibility for you and then becoming the first son is on another level. Everyone looks at the first son or male child as the breadwinner of the family, the one to stand up and make sure everything works out fine and cater for the family when he’s fully equipped to do so because it’s a compulsory responsibility. Practically the first born plays the role of the father too and must act upon it and if you fail to do so then you are a failure to your family and the society.

What if there’s an easy way out? Finishing school wasn’t easy for me because I lost my dad when I was half way in, so I went through some rough stage and tough time, money wasn’t coming through, fatherly care wasn’t there but along the due to support of friends and close ones I got through it. But then again there will be some situations I find myself in where he will be the only one to help but not there and the situations and opportunity will slip by and then I start to think if there could be a way out of all these situations and temptations.

To be continued…….



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