Tribute to the kid I was

“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” — Robin Williams

Years and years ago, a girl like many others, as unique as many others, was born. Pushed into the world to live yet another life, to learn yet another lesson. The mother used to tell her "your kindness is your power", and the girl knew she had to figure out what that meant. One way or another.

From a very young age, I realized that life wasn't meant to be easy. Everything appeared to be a hurtful contradiction; every day a swarm of confusing events that I didn't know how to process. My earliest memory, of which a wrote a poem about many moons ago, is being in a crib, in the dark, watching a bat hanging over me. Sounds quite metaphorical, doesn't it?

I remember being a very difficult child to handle; restless, inquiring, needy. My world changed when I learned how to read, it went silent on the outside, and I could finally concentrate my energy on just one activity at once. My mind started building the universe I now inhabit, inside of my mind; my very own landscapes, castles of memories, friends. And then, one day, I wrote.

Among other reasons, I think I wrote to give meaning to a pain and a longing I didn't recognize as my own, it shouldn't be, I thought, I was just a little kid. I tried to love and be loved, but that came with bruises on my body, bleeding noses, nightmares. It took me forever to unlearn what my first years of life taught me about life.

Below, I'll show you some poems I wrote when I was six years old. I mentioned them on this previous post, where I talked about my hobbies and what they mean to me. These poems are the ramblings of a child that remembered previous lives, perhaps. I don't think I can explain where I got the ideas from. They're the product of an overactive imagination, that's for sure.

I'm certain that every moment I've lived has led me to this particular moment, which I'm grateful for. Every step, every decision taken. I look at the words of this child and I wish I could embrace her, tell her everything would be fine, and that it was okay to remain herself even if she didn't understand it.

I will translate the poems for you, in a literal sense, and I hope you find value in them for what they mean. On a lighter note, I noticed that some verses rhyme both in Spanish and in English. How cool is that? Also, I was just six, so I wasn't very creative with the titles. It's okay, you can have a laugh at that!