Marriage and money (How much should one have before getting married?)
Today, my girlfriend woke me up and told me she had a bad dream. I wanted to dismiss it but I then told her to tell me about it. It turned out that she dreamt that she gave birth to a baby and the baby came off as unplanned.
I didn't like the dream at all and I expressed my fears to her. I told her that having a baby comes with a lot of responsibilities and I didn't think I was financially ready to get married talk more of having a baby. I went on to tell her that I would love to have a certain amount of money before I get married and I would want the person I want to marry to also have a decent amount of money.
Immediately her countenance changed.
She stopped talking to me for about 1 hour and before leaving to work she said that what I said came off as offensive.
I felt a certain way but this is my thought about finances before getting married.
Money money money
I grew up as a child who experienced riches while growing up and then life happened to my mother and we became broke.
We were homeless for a huge part of my formative years. As a matter of fact, I went to a boarding school because we didn't have a house and being in a boarding school was the best option for me to have a place over my head.
After this happened, it was difficult for my mum to get back to her feet and most of my years till about 5 years back was hell.
But my mother would always tell me something and that thing stuck in my subconscious and it says
Build a very high fence against poverty.
I took this saying so personal that I said to myself that I was never going to marry a girl without a job or a source of income.
It sounds mean sometimes but I think it will save me from the agony of poverty.
Interestingly, I went to check up statistics about divorce and money problems seems to be a very huge factor in contributing to the increasing rate of divorce.
According to some sources, money management happens to be the second leading cause of divorce behind infidelity
It was also reported that about 50% of couples who had over 50000 dollars in debt were likely to undergo a divorce.
I guess one thing people fail to do is to talk about their financial priorities with their spouse before getting married. For instance, I have dated 3 girls and I never talked about financial priorities with any of them.
Money happens to be a sensitive matter and it may sound funny but money has the power to do a lot of things. As sad as it may sound, money can cause someone who once loved you hate you. The sad part is that people tend to downplay this aspect of a relationship and tend to deceive themselves that all a relationship needs is love.
I have not spent so much time on earth but with what I have observed, marriage is not just about love alone. There are a lot of things that can make a marriage work and one crucial thing people should pay attention to is the financial needs of each other.
Finally, although people say money can't buy happiness but having money can buy things that can give you happiness. It is also worthy to remember that poverty does not also bring happiness.
At the end, remember to always build a high fence against poverty .
Thank you for reading.