The Gang Trim Some Fat Around Here.
"Can we call an emergency meeting please with the C suite."
"You mean Lance sir?"
"Right away sir."
"Good afternoon Lance. Just looking at the FTX scandal and the spiralling costs. THIS IS A BLACK SWAN EVENT!! We need to start reigning big time in order to keep Plinterlands running during this prolonged bear market."
"If it wasn't for Sam Bankman-Fried maybe we would have been ok but alas we are in this predicament and we're gonna have to look at trimming some fat around here."
"How many staff we have?"
"Nobody really knows sir."
"We never really did a count."
"What do you mean nobody really knows?"
"In the town halls we say 90-100, around that but we are going so well we didn't really need to do an audit."
"How can we run a company if we don't know how many bloody staff we have in the first place??"
"See that guy out there doing yoga. Is he ours?"
"Yes chief he's the yoga teacher Troy"
"We have a yoga teacher???"
"People like yoga boss."
"OK he's the first to go."
"Well if you are going to get rid of Troy, you have to get rid of Rita."
"Who is Rita?"
"She's Troy's assistant."
"The yoga teacher has an assistant??"
"Rita does pilates as well."
"OK Troy and Rita are gonzo."
"What does that girl do over there?"
"Oh thats Yi Hung our masseuse."
"We have a masseuse??"
"How come I never got a massage??"
"In case you didn't think we needed a masseuse boss."
"Well you were right to not tell me because she's gone."
"What about that guy with his feet up over there?"
"Oh thats John. He's a think tank."
"Pretty much landed RPS on time on his own, introduced FEC and made us million, he's in demand"
"Ok leave John well alone."
"Who are them guys in the grey suits?"
"They are legal."
"Wouldn't go near them! Shower of vultures! And if things go south we will need them."
"Ok Ok we keep them too."
How many have we got rid of so far?
"We need to be more cut throat Lance."
"Who are those two guys looking happy all the time?"
"Oh they are the Community managers, they monitor our discord and social medias. Their job is to be super happy."
"Do we pay these people? I thought they were just the super enthusiastic people on Discord that we took advantage of for free"
"Yes they were ,but when we got big we started to pay them quite well actually."
"Who is your man?"
"Oh that's Bullfrog, pretty much the most popular man in the whole Plinterlands ecosystem and maybe the planet. Nobody has a bad word about him and he's an all round gent."
"You are breaking my balls here giving me the back story."
"I know but you could get rid of all the Devs and nobody would bat an eyelid. Get rid of Bullfrog and you have mutiny on your hands."
"He has to go I'm afraid, I can't sack Nick "Llama Guy" and not sack Bullfrog. When things get back to normal we can bring him back in."
"Rather you than me boss."
"OK stay away from the devs. Bunch of weirdos at the best of times, don't wanna poke the bears because land is only around the corner. Let's hit creative."
"How many we got?"
"We have 500 cards Lance, we only bring out around 30 cards per year. That's one each!!"
"What do they do all day??"
"I see that guy over there in the wheelchair drew a Caricature of me running away with loads of cash."
"Get rid and cull 20 more of the lazy ones!"
"How many are we down to?"
"Why can't anyone give me a number thats not an approximation even we will cull 40 people??"
"How can I go to a Townhall saying we are down to 50 or 60.
"10 staff is a massive outlay Lance. BLACK SWAN EVENT!!"
"Can we work out within the next day how many staff we actually have?"
"Sir there has been a few out sick."
"For how long?"
"Well Jimmy is out since Beta with stress."
"Surely we are not paying for him."
"Well yes sir we are paying him sick pay."
"I fucking seen him in the gym last week chatting to a couple of blondes. Left with one of them. Seemed far from stressed did our Jimmy."
"Turn the tap off and get rid of him."
"We have got rid of 40 at this stage and there has been zero decrease in productivity." Good job Lance."
"Wait hold on a minute who is that guy juggling?"
"He's our resident juggler sir."
"Ah FFS Lance when is the penny gonna drop?? BLACK SWAN EVENT!!! When was he hired??"
"Last week sir."
"Get rid get rid, Jesus christ, we are making FTX look like IBM. "
"We need to announce it tonight at a townhall."
"You sure you wanna get rid of Bullfrog chief??"
"We are losing 40 people Lance. Some of these people were important to the game. Nobody is gonna give a fuck about some guy that calls himself Bullfrog who answered a few questions on Discord!!!"
"OK boss. I will get it done. Final answer about Bullfrog??"
"FOR FUCK SAKE LANCE , GET RID OF BULLFROG, WHO IS THIS GUY??? THE MESSIAH???
"Right away sir."