RE: MY FEAR OF SPENDING MONEY
It's is understandable that you would fear spending on some days because really the thought of not having when you need it is scarier than that thing you consider a luxury.
It is good though to spend sometimes especially when you need to. I think you have to learn to balance it out. Set some money aside for the necessities, then some for luxury, emergencies and the rest.
Make sure you do not spend above the money you set aside for a particular thing. That way you get to spend on the necessary things and still spoil yourself a little.