Things You Should Not Ignore Or Take For Granted In A Relationship
Starting out on a new relationship comes with these connections and tingling feeling you have for this other person, I mean you just want to be in their embrace without that feeling ever ending. You just want the butterflies to keep flying so nothing changes...you just wish both of you would continue feeling that way till you grow old.
However, relationship these days has become many where you are served "breakfast" like we call it here...."meaning breakup" before you even begin. You see people jumping in and out of relationship seeking for "happiness", "attention", "clout" et al but end up getting hurt anyway. So many things are embroiled in relationship these days that makes it extra difficult than it already is. Let's talk about a few of them...
THE WHY?
I came across the idea for this particular reason after seeing a movie in which a relationship started off with the wrong intention. Now starting a relationship with the wrong reason is one thing, but how do you keep it from failing with a shaky foundation. A lot of us go into relationships these days for the wrong reasons, rushing into the arms of the first guy or lady that we come across at the slightest feeling of likeness mistaken to be love. We are so eager to leave that pain behind without actually healing from the past, or so in a hurry to belong to the leagues of those in a relationship so we can at least have someone to cuddle with, oh, I feel that way sometimes...I want a man too.
We bury ourselves into desperation without sitting to ask important questions but basking ahead anyway, which we end up regretting at the end of the day. Why not slow down, think about how much the next decision you make to say yes or fall in his or her arms is going to be of effect in your life, because you just may end up disrupting the life you are barely holding together.
THE SIGNS
I bet we hear so much about red flags in relationships and how we ought to identify these signals, address them or run away if need be. There are things you see or observe that shouldn’t be ignored. Yeah, I know it is easier said than done...I mean when in love we tend to be blind to the red flags popping up while giving excuses in your head for your partner and maybe even thinking that you can change them. You forget that habits and characters of other people cannot change so easily, more so, you cannot change someone if the person is not willing to change. Red flags are there to tell you something is wrong, “stop/pause”, I like to say take your head along when you are in love but then love is just a beautiful thing. You hear a conversation like;
“I love him"....
”but he beats you at every chance he gets”
“He promised to change, I know he loves me..he tells me he loves me. I just need to stop getting him angry”.
“You are not even married to him yet…what happens when you do?
“He is going to change, I know he will…he loves me”.
I know you want to see that relationship work out no matter what, after all it took a long while before you got that handsome man, you don’t want to let go, you don’t want to be wrong, you are probably scared shitless of failing in the relationship and the process of having to start over again, so instead you’d rather put up with it than admit that it is all going wrong. These red flags are there to show us something is wrong and would be worse if not dealt with, that is why it is encouraged and advised to have that discussion, communicate your feelings, point out that attitude out early enough, don’t ignore the signs.
SELF DEVELOPMENT
Being handsome or pretty is one thing, that's obviously one of the things that attracts the opposite sex. After the attraction what next? Most of us these days spend more time taking care of our physical appearance forgetting to build ourselves...our mind...reason why most of us fall prey to emotions or situations that could have been handled in a matured way.
Ofcourse we all want intelligent partners to match with that pretty or handsome face that they got, so what do you do?....develop yourself. Be that woman, her man wants her counsel on important matters, be that man his woman has to seek his suggestions on things that matters.
Out of the many, these are some important few, No one has a perfect relationship, it takes efforts...intentional efforts from both parties to make it work and also things you should not ignore or take for granted.
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You know, after the 7... or 8... may 9.. of my decades on earth, I will agree that this is probably the most important part of a relationship. If the two people cannot discuss, provide counsel, or be co-conspirators, then there's little holding it all together.