Fear is free, and other digressions


SkyMoon20323_1.jpg

A few days ago, I completed three months of this second chance that life has given me. And every day, when I wake up to a new one, I am grateful for a new sunrise.

I have been feeling good. And whoever sees me, and does not know about what happened, cannot imagine that three months ago, I was so close to dying of a heart attack.

Last week, I spoke with the cardiologist as part of my medical control. And the indication he gave me since I have been feeling so well is to stop the anticoagulant treatment. And in two weeks, do some blood tests to try to determine what was the cause of the clots which produced the heart attack. So as of yesterday, I am no longer on medication.

But fear is taking hold of me. On the one hand, I'm glad to get off blood thinners and not have to be aware of the risk of bleeding. But on the other hand, I am scared. Since the doctor gave me the indication, I have not stopped looking for information on the internet about the risks of thrombosis and how to reduce them. And yes, I know that this is the worst thing I can do. But fear is free and so intrinsic to the human condition. And I have not been able to bury the voice in my head that wonders if it can happen again.

And one of the things I've read that I should avoid is sedentary lifestyles and inactivity. So, in the last few days, I've gone electric. And I can't sit still. I have been doing a thousand things to distract myself and not think about fear, but paradoxically I had been slacking on working out during the week. So yesterday evening, I went to the park to walk.

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I walked 4 kilometers. I filled myself with some fresh air. I contemplated the moon that was visible even though it was still daylight. And I had a lot of time to think. And yes, I gave a little more thought to that fear that has had me a little paralyzed for a few days and did not allow me to concentrate on writing. And while I was walking, a little bit absorbed in looking at the moon, I thought, maybe I have to write it down to let it flow.

When I got home, I was a little too tired to write. I had to make dinner. But this morning, I was determined that it would be the first thing I would do. So here I am.

I will not get rid of the fear. But I will deal with it. And not let it freeze me. And although it will be there, I have hundreds of other things to think about. Some are better than others, some joys, some anguish. But at the end of the day that is life. Isn't it? And I'm grateful to be alive.

Thank you for reading.

All images and writing are my own unless otherwise stated.

© CoquiCoin

March 3, 2023

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That's right. Just think about other things rather than worrying about your condition and possibilities... Think of how you can make your life happier despite your health status.. . live each day meaningfully.. You are strong !LADY just keep the faith 😊.

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Thank you for your comforting words, Jane.
And yes, I am determined to make the most of each day regardless of the circumstances I face. 🤗
!LUV

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It is great that you’re conscious of this fear Eli. Observing your fear, rather than just feeling it is already a step forward. Letting it flow on the ‘paper’ is another great way of saying ‘I see you. I will not give in so easily’.

I hope in time you can let this trickster go where it came from. You’re much more conscious of what can cause a heart attack and I’m sure you’re taking steps into healthier ways of life. Meditation can be of great help too to let go of fear 💙

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I also hope that the trickster will go away at some point.
I confess I have forgotten for a while now to practice mindfulness. But you are right. Meditation can be so helpful. 🤗💙

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So did I Eli. It used to be a daily practice to meditate and it disappeared in business of life. I had to bring it back this week, as I was so stressed I almost quit my job. I feel much better now that I reintroduced it. Just a few minutes before going to sleep every night and it makes a difference 💙

Take good care of yourself dear Eli 😘

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I'm sorry you're under a lot of stress, Monika. But don't make hasty decisions. I thought you liked your job and got along very well with your boss.
And yes, I am going to start meditating again. I agree that helps a lot to release stress and to make us feel better.
Take care of yourself too 🤗🥰💙

!LUV

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I did! Until 3rd new boss show up and trying to turn this cute place into modern corporate slavery. My old boss is still great, but he's really a health and safety manager and they keep emplying new ones to help with the audit, which we keep failing with every new boss. If they just let me and Mark (my old boss) do it, we probably would have already audit passed :/

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I am sorry that the working environment is not the best. But maybe it's a one-off thing, and everything will soon get back on to a good flow when they get over the audit. Let's hope so 🤞

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That’s what we’re hoping for too. Fingers crossed 🤞 it Will improve with time 💙

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Good to hear you are progressing well. I hope you will find something to help you avoid the risk of thrombosis coming again. It is hard to sort through some of the good and bad information online, but it will be worth it to find something that will help.

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It is so understandable @coquicoin 👋🏻😊 now being off the medication you start to wonder.
But think about it. If the doctor wasn’t confident… he would not have taken you off it.
So yes, stay active… walk your walks and distract the mind as much as you can for now.
The feeling will ebb away… it takes time. Writing it down is good, I hope it did help.
Take care dear 🤗🌺🥰 Bigg huggsss

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Thank you so much for the good wishes, Jackie. I guess the fear will pass with some time, like everything else.
Have a wonderful weekend, and big hugs to you too 🥰🤗🌸

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You are welcome @coquicoin 👋🏻😊
All the best and a big hugg 🤗
Thank you so much, enjoy yours! 🥰🌺☀️

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Fear is an emotion that can paralyze me, it helps me when I'm under its effects, stop to observe what thought was the one that activated that emotion, it's the way I managed to deactivate it, I hope you continue well @coquicoin

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I think meditation will help me and also some distractions.
Thank you for the good wishes, Yesenia 😊
Saludos!

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!ALIVE !CTP !LUV



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THank you very much for the support :)

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Que enseñanza me has dejado con eso, ciertamente puede que te cueste librarte del miedo, pero eres valiente a cada día salir para salir aquellas cosas que te hagan progresar. Mis respetos🌺

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Muchas gracias por tus amables palabras😊
Feliz fin de semana🌷

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It is very happy that the doctors have withdrawn the medication. It means that the treatment was successful! From what I have heard, it is important to remember to drink water during the day and to have first aid supplies on hand just in case. Good health!

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Thank you very much for the good wishes.
I have also read that drinking a lot of water is good to reduce the risk of blood clots.
Happy weekend!

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I imagine you were so scared! It's normal! Writing is a good start, putting fear into words allows you to take the first step to free yourself from it in my opinion, it helps to become aware. The heart is a muscle to train, nature is "healing", walking in nature is excellent too. I can only wish you a beautiful weekend and hope that you will find your way to tame this fear.

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Thank you very much for the good wishes, and have a lovely weekend 😊🌱

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It's good to hear you are no longer on medication. I hope and pray that you will continually heal and get better. As to the fear, it is understandable. And I'm glad that you have decided to deal with it and not let it stop you. I wish you well sis ♥️

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Thank you, sis ♡
I am sure that with time the fear will disappear and will also help me once I can have the tests done if they show any certainty about the causes of what happened to me.
Have a lovely week 🤗🌱

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Super Eli Super Eli, yes every sunrise we see is a blessing and how I have treated life for as long as I can remember.

That was a stare and you take it easy and give my wee nephew a hug!

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Hehe, your wee nephew also sends you a hug and says you haven't talked to him lately on the Samsung remote control. 😹
Happy weekend, Super Ed😽

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ah yes the Samsung remote control!
I think we need to rectify that.
Happy Weekend Super Eli😎💙

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Your nephew can get like this 😂.

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Glad you are with us my friend a truely inspiring fighting spirit you have keep on fighting you got this stay safe and well
@coquicoin
!ALIVE
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I will be including this content on the @heartbeatonhive curation collection

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Thank you so much for the support :)

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Health conditions can be challenging. But good positive mindsets can keep us alive and happy all the time despite the problems therein.

!ALIVE

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You are clearly a strong person a second chance is certainly something to be thankful for may your experience enable you to help other stay safe and well
@coquicoin
As an extra reward for spotlighting on @heartbeatonhive here are some tips have a blessed and wonderful day
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Fear is normal but your determination of not letting fear grip you is what I appreciate so much. Am really sorry about. I don't know your country but i will love you to search for Cacol juice on internet. It is ayurvedic product from India. It has saved so many lives on heart attack, blood clothing and all heart related problems.
Get soon my friend @coquicoin

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We are grateful to be alive, and most things happens to the living.
A bunch of things we should get used to.
Wishing you quick recovery and the strength to get used to fear.

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So as of yesterday, I am no longer on medication.

It's probably best to be free of the pharma, but I understand how it could be a little scary.

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Sure, I would not want to be on anticoagulant medication for the rest of my life. But the fear that something could happen to me if I don't take it, it's natural after what happened. But I'm sure it will go away with time.

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Putting fear into words is a good. It helps to channel the fear away. Hope you get better soon.

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Thank you very much for the good wishes:)

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I'm grateful that you're still alive @coquicoin, and that you're improving. What you've described corresponds to a particular pattern of which I'm aware. I feel very hesitant, and I really hate to be the one to ask, but have you received any version of the 'COVID vaccines'?

The human body has an astounding capacity to heal itself, and often quite quickly, when it is given what it needs. Nothing is 'incurable'. I wish you well on your healing journey! 😁 🙏 💚 ✨ 🤙

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Thank you very much for your good wishes 😊💚
And yes, I have received a few doses of Covid vaccine ;)

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Wow, thank God for the gift of life. You are healed already.

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It's a thing of joy to be alive and most of us still don't understand this great but rare gift God has bestowed upon us free of charge. Am glad are alive. You shall not die. Keep living.

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