The Hospital Ward Experience



At the beginning of last month I was in hospital for 10 days and thought I would share the experience I had as these are all real events that happened to other patients whilst I was having my small adventure. Doctors like to call it an event for some reason. You can't make this stuff up and believe me this is all true no matter how bizarre the other patients stories are.
I found this amusing so I thought why not share what happened.

On day one not much happened as it was a Sunday night and there was one other patient occupying the other 5 beds. Apparently he was on some course and later found out he was there for psychiatric treatment. He left the next day thankfully as I didn't want to sleep with one eye open.

This time of the year is quiet for the hospitals apparently as most people who need operations tend to defer them to the New Year so as not to change holiday plans. I thought that as rather strange as if I need an op I don't wait and go in immediately.

There were 6 patients in all that I encountered over the next 9 days with 4 being more interesting than the others so we will leave the 2 non adventures out.

Patient Number 1 "'The Sleep Walker"

A 74 year old man was checked in who was having breathing problems and wheezed like a horse every 10 minutes. The problem is you couldn't make him laugh as then he couldn't breath properly and this had the nurses running. He was on some very strong medication and was actually a pleasant guy to chat to with no jokes.

The one night I was woken at about 3am in the morning with a blood curdling scream followed by a women in hysteria. What the old man had done was got up to go to the toilet and taken the wrong door which found him hopping into the wrong bed which was already occupied. He had walked up the corridor and entered the ladies ward and seeing his bed which would have been his bed but one ward away he pulled back the covers and climbed in. The women who was fast asleep screamed the place down and a few minutes later the old man came walking into our ward in a state of shock. He blamed the green tablets for his sleepwalking and refused to have any of them after that. I was wide awake now as this was freaky, but also quite funny. He was later discharged on the same day as myself having no improvement as his lungs were wrecked from the pollution from the mine dumps that litter Johannesburg. Unfortunately where he lives he is basically across the road from one and has never touched a cigarette in his life.

Patient Number 2

This guy was in his early 70's and I was feeling quite young with these old bullets around. I could tell he had suffered a stroke as the one side of his face didn't look the same as the other side. Nothing serious, but noticeable and I was in the opposite corner to him which is a good 6 or 7 m away. He had been on Holiday in Europe when his troubles started with tingling and a numbness to his face and that side of the body. Most people would get checked out there and there, but no he flew home not saying a word too anyone. He went to see his doctor once he arrived home and found himself in intensive care that same hour. This guy was so laid back it was like it was not serious and he will be in and out. His blood pressure was through the roof and was told once that had normalized he could go home. His doctor was a Belgian women who told him she will check him out when she returns. She was off to visit her parents in Brussels for the weekend and left on Thursday night lol. He was stuck in until Monday afternoon which didn't please him, but did him some good.

Patient Number 3

I will call this guy Mr Cheese Omelette as he was convinced a dodgy cheese omelette had given him food poisoning. On day 3 having the same symptoms as what he arrived in with he admitted finally that maybe it wasn't food poisoning. Hew as going through a series of tests a she had collapsed at home whilst gardening. He was in his early 40's and it turned out he had a mild heart attack and his cholesterol levels were sky high. When I left he was still in there and we all called him Mr Omelette.

Patient Number 4

Thankfully I only experienced 2 days with this fellow as he was so bad at snoring everyone wanted to leave. he was on super strong medication as they kept him topped up due to suffering severe migraines. The first 24 hours he was there he was awake for a few minutes and he was back snoring until the following day. He had suffered with this symptom most of his life and checks himself in when he cannot cope. They were running tests on him but who knows if they will find the real cause as this guy was in his mid twenties and was kind of used to living this way. We all thought he was drunk as only drunk people snore that loudly.

After 10 days I was out of there and couldn't get out fast enough knowing I wouldn't sleep much having a serious snorer around. The one conclusion I came to whilst "inside" was how stubborn the male species really is. These 3 patients (forget no4) had serious issues, but were trying to get out instead of fixing the real problems. The chap who had the stroke I was stunned knowing he had travelled on a plane in that condition as he must have guessed something was seriously wrong. men are simple and stupid when it comes to health issues and I know I am similar to these guys than I would like to admit.


This time of the year is quiet for the hospitals apparently as most people who need operations tend to defer them to the New Year so as not to change holiday plans.

Most people here try to get everything done that they need at the end of the year before their insurance rolls over in the new year. If you have already met your deductible you can basically get anything done and it is covered.

I don't think I could handle being in a hospital like that. Most of the places here if they admit you, you get put in a room. I think worst case the rooms are double occupancy. If you are really lucky you get a private room. I know I snore a lot, so people would probably hate me. I am also a really light sleeper so I would need drugs to knock me out with all the commotion happening.


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