MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP: FAMILY AND FRIENDS HAVE ROLES TO PLAY IN YOUR LIFE

over 1 year ago

Hey lovelies ❤️
It's your favorite girl @debbie-ese 😍
Welcome to my blog 🤗

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The beginning of some people's unhappiness is when they make the decision to get rid of their friends the moment they start a relationship or when they are married. This is not supposed to be so because friends, family and romantic partners have different roles they play in one's life and each should have their own space in your life.

Good friends are precious and their presence in your life can not be overemphasized, especially the ones you have know for a long time who add quality value to your life. These are people who you have got to know their strengths and weaknesses over a period of time. You can detect when something is bothering them even without them saying a word and you also know what makes them happy to snap out of a bad mood.

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These kind of people should not be excused from your life when you get into a romantic relationship all in the name of protecting your relationship and boundaries. This is a grievous mistake that so many people make and it is most times too late before they get to correct their actions. Some people are of the opinion that they stay away from their friends once they get married because they don't want their single friends to influence them badly with their lifestyle.

Similarly, some married people cut ties with their family because they are married for various reasons which does not always make sense. There are quite a number of advices that married people get from different sources as they prepare to get married such as from their religious leaders, marriage/relationship counselors, friends and even the one they read or watch on the internet. Some of these advices may be misleading or misinterpreted. The role of your family in your life can never be taken away. You have spent almost all your life with them and it may be unreasonable to cease communication with them because of your spouse you met in your adulthood.

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It may get to a point in your life that you'd need people to rally round you to support you financially, spiritually and emotionally, but there may be no one around to show you love since you have neglected them. There is a story of a woman whose husband was out of town when "her water broke" and sadly they do not establish a cordial relationship with their neighbors, so she found it difficult to seek help from them. It is not that they have misunderstandings of any kind but the family just decide to keep to themselves (my family and I alone). However, the husband had to call a friend who is in a nearby street and it took a while before he could arrive. She delivered safely in the end but it was a stressful process for them.

There is the need to compartmentalize our life and give room for different groups of people in our lives (the ones that will add positive values). Don't neglect your friends and family - they have a space to fill that your spouse may not be able to fill (at all times.) It is profitable to establish healthy relationships with people around us.