A Companion Guide to having no companion

avatar

image.png

Source

So, you're single, on your last pringle and think the whole I'm okay being alone thing doesn't work anymore. But it the year after the virus and you're craving companionship, however, you're inept at it.

How do you find a companion during these times? Here are some simple, effective and er foolproof ways:

  1. Japanese Body Pillow - No, you don't always need a human or a pet, you can also buy a novelty pillow that is squishy, quiet and doesn't crib about cuddling. So, head on over to Japan, buy one of these pillows, take them through airport security and Bob's your uncle. Just don't let Uncle Bob near the body pillow or you might end up alone again.

  2. Neighborhood Tinder creep - Open any dating app and there's that one person who'll swipe right for anything. They might be creepy friendly and just the person you're looking for. But take a weapon, just in case.

  3. Knock Knock Knocked up: You know how to avoid being forever alone and be tied to a noisy money guzzling human for the rest of your life, become a dad or a mom and discover the joys of adulting.

  4. Become a politician - Have you ever seen them alone? Never.

  5. Find "Her" - Get yourself an AI and fall in love with the machine learning algorithm like any normal person from 2050.


Posted via proofofbrain.io



0
0
0.000
7 comments
avatar

Hmm.. great advice here. The AI sex machines are the best I guess , those don't complain or expect anything from you, (unlike the one in Her) but do everything for you . I'd rather live in the 2050 than live alone. 😉

0
0
0.000
avatar

Reminds me of an old Twilight Zone episode about a prisoner on an asteroid who was given an AI robot companion:


Posted via proofofbrain.io

0
0
0.000
avatar

Here i was expecting to see a sermon on companionship and love and blah.
But no, you amaze me😅.

Your advice are quite unique and straight to the point. Either this or that.

If I were to chose, I'd prolly be a politician or better still get the Japanese body pillow, my first time hearing about them tho.


Posted via proofofbrain.io

0
0
0.000
avatar

If care is not taken on your last option you might end up alone as machine breaks sometimes 😜


Posted via proofofbrain.io

0
0
0.000