How to get over your ex!

So, you met this great person and immediately your weird socially dysfunctional, clinically disturbed self pulled out a performance worthy of the Oscars. You become the cliched awesome bf/gf from romcoms that you have seen.

But every actor deserves a break and after a while of dating, you think about lowering your defenses. Maybe they'll like you for - never mind.

You've broken up and now you can throw away your spanx, wear comfortable shoes, get back to frozen pizza than gourmet restaurants, spend more time watching videos of cats punching monkeys and not shave for a month.

But

Your heart is broken. How do you get over your ex?

1 . Call your friends - There are two types of friends -

The sympathetic friend - "It wasn't meant to be, you’ll find some better etc. Let's get wasted."

The best friend - "lol why would anyone but me put up with you? Let's get wasted."

2 . Torture your roommate/pet with sad songs - You're going to miss me when I'm gone aaaaaa - repeat.
Special recommendation - This song by Soko - I'll Kill her

3 . Cyber stalk - Look up their social media profile every minute to see if they are crumbling without. They aren't. You are. But you must do it anyway until you catch one post with them looking sad.

4 . Binge everything - Alcohol, Ice cream, Netflix shows about creepy stalkers.

5 . Tinder Joy - Scroll through pictures of beautiful people in your area who will never like you back. Change bio to include how the person sitting in the bedroom under a blanket glued to their mobile likes to travel #wanderlust and admire nature.

6 . Ask your mom to set you up with her friend's neighbor’s podiatrist's monkey's nanny's bff's cousin thrice removed who is sort of a doctor.

7 . Pretend you never broke up!