LET THE BANTERS BEGIN

It is that time of the year again. A time when the boys party with uniforms of different colors. A time where our love is displayed without feminine inclinations. A time where joy and heartbreak comes on a weekly basis. A time where men start having mood swings. The football season officially begins this night in all its glory and with it comes drama and banter.

I know most of us have been anxiously anticipating this day since the last piece of club football was concluded in May. All through the break most of the clubs have gone on to find ways to fine tune their teams in order to improve on their performances from the last season. In between we've been served with National team football, yuck!.

Manchester United as usual have been almost flawless in preseason and raising the hopes of their fans that this might finally be the season they arrest the rot.

The front trio of Rashford, Martial and Sancho have been mesmerizing at times all through preseason. And now they're about to take the league by storm this season...... Oooops! Martial is injured, Sancho is a doubt and Ronaldo is being a big baby again. Crisis brewing already?

Did I hear someone mention Chelsea? Lol! A club that got bullied by a broke Barcelona in the transfer market, what good can come out of such a club? They lost their Russian oil mogul and along with him, their transfer magic touch queen.

Now they're just running around the market marking present on every player that's linked to the big boys. In their defense is the fact that they don't have a home, so where will the players come to stay?

Is Marina Granovska happening to Chelsea the way David Gill happened to Manchester United or the new owners are just clueless with football dealings and are still learning the ropes? Well let's not forget that Tuchel has woefully failed to improve any of the attackers left in his care. Long may it continue!

The Gunners are back! The way they came alive when Chelsea crossed them was reminiscent of Jesus. Their arsenal is well stocked with crumbs that fell from City's table, and they're about to open the Palace door today as the whole league awaits to gain entrance.

But if last season's Stat is anything to go by, then the gun may not fire at the Palace. Dear gunners bring down your expectations before breakfast comes too early. Don't say I didn't warn you.

And that's a London derby. Wow, how many London derbies do we have in a season please? Crystal Palace, Fulham (Chelsea's landlords I heard), Chelsea, Tottenham, Arsenal. Way too many yo-yo clubs, no wonder they all run to Manchester for succor. Manchester United to the rescue again.

Then there's the north London derby. I can imagine Conte licking his lips at the prospect of his Son feasting on their souls like Kane on Abel. A match between two ne'er do wells, where the winner becomes the best ne'er do well in the league. Lol! London clubs and their unnecessary drama.

And then I can't wait for the flops that will be snapped up at the tail end of this window as clubs scramble in a desperate attempt at arresting their faltering start to the season.

The overpriced average players who will walk in like imminent saviors, but will then become the object of ridicule and memes in a few weeks. I know Manchester United crossed your mind but it's okay, you can add Chelsea to it, and maybe Leicester City.

As the season begins today, my only prayer is that we're not starved of themes for beautiful and sweet banters. May we have an overflow of memes and a reason to laugh at our individual clubs.

So gentlemen and ladies, let the banters begin!

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