Existential Overalls
When I was a sapling one of the fashion trends was to wear overalls with one strap unbuckled. Here lately I have been feeling like that is a perfect visual representation of my life, I'm wandering around half-hitched.
Suffice it to say that I am not the only human who struggles with health issues. To be alive is to struggle with health issues. However, I spent the first three decades of my life ill with an out of control chronic illness, and through tons of research, trial and error experimentation, and some stubborn @$$ persistence, I healed myself.
Well, let's say I tempered the chronic illness beast. Because it's always there, lurking.
That said, I got a gift, I felt good for a few years.
And therein lies the problem. This year I got life-slapped back down into the not feeling well chronic illness realm and it's actually worse for me because I have the knowledge now. I know what it's like to feel good. And I desire it above all things.
I think I might be throwing a fit on the inside most days.
Because I don't want to rest. I don't want to sit down, or take it slow, or be sedate. I WANT TO MOVE! WAAAAHHHH!
Okay, now that I have expressed a bit of childish fit-throwing I'll move on to the point of this post.
A singer of songs once crooned, "You can't always get what you want."
Yes, Uncle Mick, I hear you....
But he's right, you can't always get what you want.
And sometimes, you have to go through things. So even though I know how to eat well, even though I am trying my bestest to take care of myself, the trick now is to acknowledge I am where I am supposed to be in this moment and to embrace the sitch.
It's just that it's so much harder to do than it is to type.
I am sure that I am not alone in feeling frustration with the minutia of my situation. And yes, I am aware that there are many folks out there who are facing far greater dragons than I, and when I think about their plight I want to throw manure coated duck feathers at myself for my whinging. So instead, I will honor all our struggles by accepting that I have to go through this tribulation and celebrate that I am even alive to wade through such a thing.
Take that overalls!!!
And as an expression of the ever-present gratitude that I feel, I just want to say a massive thank you to you all. Each and every one of you Hiveians that visit my blog have been a huge source of encouragement throughout the last almost six years. Knowing your are not alone and interacting with such a cool, diverse group of creators has been one of my life's greatest joys, along with cats and cupcakes😉
Hugs
One thing I am learned from health issues. You cannot compare one to the other.
One person's flu can be just as mentally bad as a other person's battle with something like cancer.
My point is your issues should be just as important as anyone else's.
Your friends are hear for you 😀
Hugs.
!BBH
!ALIVE
!CTP
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@generikat! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @bradleyarrow. (4/20)
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Big hugs right back at ya my dear friend😊 And big time mutual sentiment alert! Being there for others, in whatever capacity you can, is one of my very favorite human behaviors lol!
You get all the gratitude waves today!!
!PIZZA
!CTP
Sending you a big hug!
Aww, thank you so much, gratitude hug sent in return lol!
!PIZZA
Hi @generikat, it's been a while since I read your post and I have to admit that it is refreshing that your creativity is still as top-notch as ever.
Your Uncle Mick was right though, we can't get everything we want. No one wants to go though illness, but then not everyone is a fighter like you. You've beaten it before and I am sure you would do it again.
You are doing well😊
Hi @bruno-kema! Seriously my friend, thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement, it means a lot😊
And when I use my creativity to kick this thing back to the curb where it belongs, I will fondly remember this comment!
Hope all is beyond well in your realm!!!
!PIZZA
You'll get into it. Or take up knitting or something 😉
LOL! Knitting or something sounds like a good time😆
!PIZZA
We torture our boys with those lines from the song. ♫ You can't always get what you want.... YOU GET WHAT YOU NEEEEEEEED ♫ sung with a bit of obnoxiousness and with us both in chorus. They can hear the sung "YOU" and they freak out now.
Perspective can have a way of showing itself and many times when we aren't looking for it. It is stupidly easy to get stuck in ourselves but "awareness is the first step" in the fixin process, lol.
Hope your body stops fighting you.
!PIZZA !BEER
Oh yes, I really emphasize the obnoxiousness too lol lol! Isn't parenting great?!😆
I hate the self-thought loop so much! I am prone to getting hung up in the misery rumination loop and something that really brings me out of it is action and a focus on serving others. Often times, funnily enough, perspective then slaps me in the face in the process. Bring on the awareness lol!
I'm 99.9% sure that I am the cause of this whole body-rebellion because of lack of proper care of the self. Grrr. Guess I better work on that part of my reasoned choice repertoire, yee haw.
Hope you are enjoying hot tub and chill time now that harvest is almost done!
!PIZZA
I find focus is the best means of distraction from the recurrent cycles of self loathing, part of why I am always doing something. Often times letting whatever chill in the back of my mind while I work on a project will yield answers or at least options.
Our decisions have a way of coming back to bite us for sure as my body can attest to as well. Hopefully with winter you can get a chance to take a break and recuperate.
I just yanked out a bunch of squash plants and am at the end of my short break now as I have to go pick everything before the frost tomorrow morning. Row covers are out and going up and I'm kicking myself for not ordering rolls of it earlier this year. If I can get through the next two nights I might have another week or so if the forecast holds. I'm digging the real Autumn/Fall we are getting.
I hope you get the same thing going on this winter too, rest and recuperation. Background processing while focusing on specific task completion is a lot less painful than paralyzed pondering for sure. Us ruminating introverts really do a number on ourselves lol!
It still hasn't frosted hard here, I thought maybe last night would be the night, and went out and dug, cut back, and potted a few pepper plants that I am going to try to overwinter in my bathroom as an experiment. Just looking at the forecast I see that it's an any time now scenario regarding the frost's appearance.
I hope in your case it holds off for a couple more nights, and I am so loving this autumn we are having so far, it's just beautiful!
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Unbuckle and give me a cyber hug. I didn't know it was a fad. I used to LOVE those overalls. No. Wait. I DO LOVE overalls. But I seldom buckle both sides. And now I hear it's a fad? That is hilarious. I used to do it - or rather - not - due to laziness. Let me rephrase. Due to too busy-ness. It's a great analogy although I'm sorry that's how you feel most days, sweet Kat
I love overalls too! And now I am thinking we have you to thank for starting the one strap trend😁
And heck yes busyness! Laziness is not ever a word I would associate with you!
So, I wrote you out this awesome comment and then peakd glitched on me and I lost it, so much hugs in return (and an overall strap salute!) and just so you know, your reply put the biggest smile on my face😊
!PIZZA
Well my imagination thanks you. Maybe the one strap trend began when my great greats were Voortrekking across Africa, dodging lion and hurdling rhino.....
Well, you did a whole lot of stuff earlier this fall, and perhaps its calling in the markers on it....
I am in the process of doing a whole lot of stuff, and fully expect the markers to be collected sometime soon.... but hopefully after I've managed to finish the stuff...
I actually felt pretty good for about 3 months this summer, but it has been slipping away again. Not sure why. Drat. And so I understand....
I'm so glad to hear you had a feel good burst, but NO to it slipping away! A trip to Tucson or Montana is in order perhaps? lol! Good sentiments aside, I am sorry to hear that, I hope both of our feeling gross spells are short-lived.
!PIZZA
Even as I type, I am in Montana for a few days of R&R!