The Other Side Of Respite
As I hopped onto the laptop this morning, I felt something that has been missing from my life as of late, anticipatory joy laced with creative glee.
To be honest my dear readers, I have been feeling not at all like myself for a long time, most of this year in fact. After getting smacked really hard by the Long C, I just didn't have all my pep.
Now don't get me wrong, I still had plenty of joie de vivre and was still me, but there has been this weariness present and dare I say it, resistance that has never been an issue in my life.
After a lot of reflecting, searching, and I'll be honest here, issue avoidance, I came to terms with what the problem is.
I'm tired.
And not just, I need a rest tired, I am completely emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted.
Due to having a huge amount of enthusiasm for being alive and a personality type that was raised in an environment that didn't foster the best growth regarding personal boundaries, I have spent over four decades going hard without a lot of care for myself, for I didn't even know that I needed to do that in a way. Mainly through the art of saying No.
For instance, it dawned on me the other day when I was selling my cow and heifer to a really wonderful man from Kettle Falls that I have consistently been taking care of livestock for over twenty years. I have been taking care of children for thirty. Without a pause at all. I still think about how I waded through waist deep snow, blinded with fever, and barely able to walk in order to feed the ducks this past winter. Yep, I am persistent, sometimes detrimentally so.
It's okay to take a break. It's okay to stop juggling everything. And it's a hundred percent okay to take care of yourself.
And you want to know why? Because you are the only you. I truly believe we are here to serve others by doing that which only we can do in our unique stardust combinational makeup. That said, I needed to learn the lesson of the art of taking care of my little hobbitesque form, and that means all of it.
So, in the grand tradition of change, it meant that discomfort must be embraced, and the most uncomfortable thing for me ever is to embrace comfort so to speak. To scale back for the purpose of healing and replenishment. I will hang on to taking care of things, even at the expense of myself, for YEARS. For a while now I have known what I have needed to do, but boy, have I been resisting some of it, but once I made the leap into the realm of change uncertainty, a leap of faith so to speak, things started happening.
What I mean by all this rambling is that I am making some pretty big changes in my life and on the farm. Me taking a week off this past week was one of them. And it was wonderful!
That said, I truly missed all of you here, so very much. Hive is a super important part of my life, a part that never feels like a burden and I'm always excited to share with ya'll what I am up to. Which is of course why I am blathering about my absence and big life changes here, because growth is not always pretty like an Instagram feed.
I have to say, it seems more than appropriate that I am moving into a new season as the season changes here on the homestead. All this pruning and purging is going to yield some awesome fruit for sure, and I am more than happy to have all of you on the journey with me.
And on that rather lengthy explanatory note....back to work!!
You do a lot, Kat. Recovery from any illness can take time and with all your responsibilities ... sleep deprivation .. it is no wonder. Sometimes the body will get insistent that you rest.
To more specific things you can do to help you recover ... get some quercetin from amazon; if there are some rogue spikes in the system, it will give them a run for their money and will have you feeling better THAT day. Then of course there is Vitamins D, C, and zinc. Lastly keep it low carb.
Feel better.
Ooh, I do all of the last four things, but I will definitely seek out some quercetin.
And you are so right about the time taking part of recovery. I am chronically bad at that lol, hope you are having a most excellent day my dear friend, I always love to see one of your most excellent and health wisdom-filled replies😊
It is very important to take time to look after ourselves physically and mentally enjoy your day thanks for sharing on Listnerds.
@generikat
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You are so beyond right! And thank you so much for dropping by from Listnerds!😁
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I feel you there! We both know the effects of chronic illness, emotionally draining relationships, family drama, and the struggle of the daily demand son our creative faculties even when doing things we generally enjoy. I strongly suspect you've borne more burden than me in each such Kat-egory.
!PIZZA
You are so preaching to the chronic illness choir, JT, this morning my Hashi's has flared up and I have spent the last few hours trying to work while being half choked by my annoyed thyroid gland. Sigh. Guess I will have to do a bit more resting😉
And pain is pain, I think it hurts no matter how much of it we have to bear or for how long. We are definitely all in this together...
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You need to look after yourself and it looks like you found a very beautiful place for some R&R. Thanks for sharing.
Downtown CDA is a very lovely spot, and I hope you are looking after yourself well too!
!PIZZA
!CTP
Great job on the taking care of yourself. I think I remember one of your children went to college this year, so slow down and enjoy the quiet.
!PIZZA
You have a great memory! My oldest is graduating high school this year, so we are getting her all ready to head off to college (She wants to be an international travel nurse and thanks to our awesome school system will be a certified CNA when she graduates high school this year!). All that aside, I am definitely going to embrace the quiet when (and if) it ever gets here lol lol!
Thanks so much for stopping by!
!PIZZA
Oh Kat.
Do take care of yourself. Number one.
That being said, I am greedy. One thing I missed and hope to read in this post was your plans for Hive.
I dearly missed you this week. No pressure, you have to do what is right for you.
Once Ecency is back up and running correctly I will get to respond to your responses to me.
I will be sad if there is less Kat on Hive, but if that is what you need I will be 100 percent happy for you.
Take care of yourself.
Bradley
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Oh no worries, I am not bolting for the time being, just rearranging my schedule a bit. Scaling back to three posts a week, but I will still check in most mornings, I love my Hive family!😊
And I hope you are taking good care of yourself too, your plate is beyond a buffet of things!
!PIZZA
!CTP
😀 all I want to do now is smile.
Better than being board. Lol
!BBH
@generikat! Your Content Is Awesome so I just sent 1 $BBH (Bitcoin Backed Hive) to your account on behalf of @bradleyarrow. (10/50)
Take care of yourself first dear.
Wishing you best recovery.
Thank you so much! I hope you are having the most spectacular day!
!PIZZA
You are welcome.
Yes, it's going well here.
I hear you!! Everyone needs to take a break now and then. I just took a long break myself. Just getting back into things. Rest up and take care.
Oh! So glad to hear you had a long break of restfulness! And you are so right, everyone needs a bit of respite from time to time! Hope your dive back into things is excellent😊
!PIZZA
Thank you for sharing the beauty of your more restful life... but YES, take care of yourself and build strong boundaries. You don't owe US out here in the electronic wilds anything ... we'll see you when you feel like blessing us!
Ah, you have the most beautiful way of arranging words, but that doesn't surprise me, seeing as I have been enjoying your masterful writing all these years on here😊.
That said, I hope you are taking care of yourself too and hooray for boundaries!
Thanks so much for blessing me today!
!PIZZA
!CTP
You're welcome ... it's a blessing to be a blessing!
!BBH
!ALIVE
!CTP
P.S. Came here from ListNerds
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Two comments from you in one post?! AWESOME!!!
!CTP
!PIZZA
I am glad you were able to take some time off and just kick back. But it's good to have you back on Hive.
Aww, thanks my friend😊 It's definitely good to be back in great company!
!PIZZA
Farm life takes it out of us! Here's to new beginnings and taking it slow
Does it ever! I'm definitely more than ready to mimic tree sap during a winter freeze rather than a ADHD banty hen lol lol!
!PIZZA
Oh I love the pictures! The rocks and the fountain the most, then that body of water with the building. Absolute lovely.
I know someone as exhausted as you are. Someone who although wasn't consistent enough but now is and the weight of it all has him always drained.
Glad as I am that I stop, breathe, and cast off some of it all before I go again, I do understand how you feel because sometimes, some occurrences in my life has me feeling like that.
I see there's 'some' a lot in my reply 😄, I'll shut up now to avoid even more.
Welcome back!
You know, they had a bunch of benches around the fountain, I could definitely sit there awhile, I adore water features😊
Pausing to breathe is something I am practicing, it's definitely not natural for me, but it was at one time. Part of my problem is I spent the first 2/3rds of my life ill and not able to do things, so once I healed up I didn't want to squander the gift. It's funny how we unintentionally do that sometimes lol!
And I loved all the somes and that you thought wandered through them all, please always feel free to share them here, they are most appreciated!
Thanks so much for stopping by!
!PIZZA
Super cool and jealous worthy 😄
I'm very glad for you. Squandering is something most of us are guilty of really 🤦🏾♀️.
You're too kind, and very welcome! XO
So many (women 😉) can relate to your situation Kat! It always amazes me how my husband can just switch off or STOP. Me? How can I not juggle a gazillion things all at the same time with the clock ticking. It is exhausting. And I think in your instance you have the empty nest reality looming
You know what one of the greatest realizations I have had is? That my situation is not unique nor am I alone. Creative caregivers tend to wind up here after a few decades (give or take a few years), and I just want to achieve a healthy sort of balance so I can enjoy living instead of always feeling assaulted by Life's requirements.
And holy wow am I ever jealous of my hub's ability to just have nothing going on and his possession of the ability to enjoy such a state. It's amazing!
You are right about the nest of emptiness looming, but after raising three sets of kids (ours, the hubs had foster kids when I married him, and I helped raise my cousins as a teen), I am definitely looking forward to claiming some of my time. But then again, I wouldn't trade the time with all our kiddos for anything, it truly is the most amazing job😊
But like I have to tell you that lol, you are beyond amazing, and I am so glad Hive caused us to cross paths!
!PIZZA
It is some consolation knowing that you are not alone in your challenges, even though it is sometimes lonely and overwhelming. But despite the more challening than easy, it is certainly worth it. Especially knowing the investment you have made in so many lives of the next generation. Head up. Take one more step
I will do so, but heads up, I am sorta clutzy so it might be entertaining lol!
Thanks for being so awesome btw😊
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Thank you!!!!
You are entering a new season in your life. It is essential to step back once in a while, like you just did, and decide what is now important.
New seasons bring change. Not all change is bad, but it may be uncomfortable.
I hope you settle well into this new season.
!CTP
Thank you so much for all the kind awesomeness @beststart! Just stepping back and viewing things from outside my own little bubble has been super helpful for sure, hope you are having a splendid day!
!CTP
Looks like a very nice self care break. We all need to do that every now and then.
!ALIVE
!CTP
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Good Morning and Thank you, @youarealive! Enjoy your day.😀
Thank you and you are so, so right! The break was sorely needed and super enjoyed lol! Hope you are having a beautiful Wisconsin fall😊
!CTP
You're very welcome and glad to hear it. Yes, we are having a very beautiful Wisconsin Fall. So appreciated. Don't miss the summer heat at all. Enjoy your day😀
!ALIVE
!CTP
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Good Afternoon and Thank you, @youarealive! Enjoy your day.😀
I hope you have some nice changes planned. it's good to take a break..
I do! I kinda weeded my life like and overgrown garden so I can focus on what I really feel called to do, it was hard to stop but in the end it's been so worth it!
Hope you are having an awesome day!!
!CTP
You are not alone in your struggles, I feel much like you, tired, mentally as well as physically. I have been caring for a sister of mine for over two months now, traveling 3 hours from Upstate N.Y. to New Jersey every 4-5 days and am constantly on the phone with her caregivers. It's depressing, she has had a difficult life, a car accident left her paralyzed from the chest down at the young age of 29, she is now 56. I try my best to remain positive but it's no easy task.
I don't know what will happen but this little voice in my head keeps telling me to take better care of myself.
Be good to yourself. Thanks for sharing.
Oh! That is a huge thing! Being a caregiver, while one of the most honorable and awesome things, is also a huge undertaking that can drain one down to just auto-pilot existing if you don't tend to your needs too. I've had to learn the hard way that if you don't take care of yourself you can't help others, and listening to that little voice is essential, otherwise the Universe will make more noise to get your attention.
But I will quit blathering, it just hit me in the feels when I read about what you are going through, and I hope you are being good to yourself too. (I'm working on getting better at that)
!CTP
!PIZZA
I pulled this up yesterday and was so enamored with the brownies, well, it sat here and I never got back. Shame on me.
I am surprised it took you this long, woman! You do so much, you can put a herd of hard-working men to shame. I am not pitting men against women, for your other readers that want to thump me for saying that, but, I knew you wouldn't take offense and know what I mean. Many issues with an illness that just isn't getting over it. Perhaps that is the wrong word. The fatigue is real and many people are dealing with it. I acquired pertussis six months before covid (Who gets pertussis? I did!) While I was laid out flat on my back, hacking up a lung, I did nothing and let the house run itself. Despite everything, I had help and you know what? I took it. I tried to do a few things myself, like shower. LOL but honestly, I was useless. I didnt even post. Golden opportunity and Im not sure if I did or not. It is all a blur.
All I am saying is that you need to take care of you because you are too important to the household. Key player. Bosso #2 or #1 - I won't argue. Yes on the Vitamin C,D and zinc! I have been taking those since petussis. C and calcium and multi before. I still take calcium too. I feel like they help (or at least I never get sick. Never. Never) Which is why the pertussis was shocking.
Hindsight, I know the exact person I got it from and where. How about that. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
So Kit Kat. I worry about you because you don't worry about you. But, I see you are turning over a new leaf. Self love is important. ❤️
Feel better soon, darlin. I wanted to say that CFS Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (that is what I would call it on some peeople) is not uncommom with a lot of people that have had it. (My sister for one) and so... be good to you. I'll stop repeating. :)
Love to you!
There is absolutely no shame in getting enamored by brownies! They ensnare me all the time lol!
HOLY NO! I didn't know that you got slain by the Pertussis, DS! And then to get smacked by Covid! I'm so sorry, and as someone who is still navigating coming back around after getting hit by two illnesses at once this past spring, I so get the whole healing takes time recovery thing.
To be honest, there are some days I wonder if I am ever going to get back to me. But then again, life is about seasons, and maybe this reality is the new me and I must learn to find joy and adapt to my new reality. Even if that means I must make uncomfortable choices and live life a bit differently.
So, long story short, I am going to take a page out of your most magnificent book and embrace the love and care of my self. Oof, what an undertaking, I am so glad I have beyond marvelous examples to draw from.😊 Seriously my dear friend, you are a marvel!
!PIZZA
Hello, Generikat.
You sure did need a break!
What about another few weeks broken up into sections.
I still think you need more rest.
Have a great day and evening.
Barb 😊
Oh Barb, you are so preaching to the choir! Just the seven days I took off from Hive wasn't an exact break because I am right in the middle of putting the farm to bed for winter, so I will be taking your excellent advice and scheduling in a few more respite weeks in my future. A restorative winter of rest and recovery is my goal!
Thanks so much for stopping by and being so kind, I really appreciate it!
!PIZZA
Eat healthy every day,
do sports every day and your problems will be gone.
So happy to hear you are experiencing growth and taking care of you x💚