ecoTrain QOTW #4: What Do You Need To Let Go Of?

This question makes me feel like I want to free myself from Unforgiveness. I want to share the deep things that have been bothering me for long time. I need to forget what my friends had done to me and face my career.

Unforgiveness is one my biggest challenges ever, it is very hard for me to forgive people that have done bad things to me; I find it difficult. One day, I had a friend who we grew up together, we went to the same school and did almost everything together. In fact, we were doing like we were twins; we love each other so much to the extent that we share almost everything together; we used to tell each other what we couldn't tell our parents. After many years, both of us traveled to different cities. One day, I have program in his city and I called him; I said, Michelle. I'm coming to your city for a program, he was very happy to hear, because since he traveled, we have been talking on phone; we have not seen each other for the past 5 years. "it is a great opportunity to see each other again" said Michelle. I took my journey from my city believing that, I would see my best friend after many Years we left each other, at the end of the program. Throughout the program, we were talking
frequently. After I finished my program, hoping to see my old friend; I called him, he said, "i don't have your time now, I have many things am doing". That words struck my mind and I began to think what I have done that have made him to talked in that manner. After that incident, I refused to call him for years and it was in my mind all these years.


But now, I will let everything go of. I realized that the more you keep those grudges, the heavier it becomes in your heart. Whenever i sees his phone number or pictures in my phone, I get hurts. It kept my heart hurting for years, I kept hurting and punishing myself. My mentor once said, " the most important person to forgive is you". Forgiving someone is like forgiving yourself. Unforgiveness makes it impossible to move on just like sometimes in my life, I was stagnated because of Unforgiveness. I understood that as far as we are still alive, people will keep hurting you or you will hurt yourself, but forgiveness remove pain and ease pressure.

Unforgiveness keep counting score: Unforgiveness keep counting score. In the Bible, Peter wanted to know how many times he had to forgive someone! Matthew 18:21-22 says, then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?". Jesus said to him, "I do not say seven times but seventy times seven. It keeps you counting how many times someone had offended you, and how you can revenge. Unforgiveness made me to find ways and repay what friends had done to me. It has destroyed my life and my relationship with others.
Unforgiveness made me to lose many good things and makes my best friend enemy: Once you offended me, you have become my enemy. I kept on losing more friends, and started leaving in lonely life. It was difficult for me to maintain good relationship because of unforgiveness. I can no longer ask my friends things, my friends could not longer call me for anything. I was living in sorrowful and devastated life. But right now, I forgive immediately you offended me; forgiveness makes me free and empty, I find it easy to forgive now. I have learned that, to forgive is very sweet.

Unforgiveness makes one complains: I have complained and my fiancee got tired of me. She said, "you complain so much and it kills. This life is very easy but you have to make it easy by yourself". The moment you are complaining about someone, you will never get past it. Therefore, don't waste your time complaining, get ride of complaint and move on with happiness.
In conclusion, Unforgiveness is an attitude, it is something you develop by yourself. Unforgiveness leads to hatred, anger, jealousy, complain, regret, sickness, revenge, gossiping, etc.
Therefore, a lifestyle of forgiveness makes you free from grudges, makes your heart healthy, enhances personal growth, makes you transparent, makes people look at you as a germ, virtuous, righteous, promotes love and peace of mind. Don't let Unforgiveness destroy your life, stop holding yourself back as a result of Unforgiveness.
"Make a decision to start living a lifestyle of forgiveness and refuse to be offended". -joyce



You are absolutely right, the attitude for forgiveness is necessary for a peaceful life. And it benefit us more than the other person whom you forgive.
Prayers and regards