BOREDOM: A MOMENT OF MULTIPLE THOUGHT

Hello friends....
Different thought came across my mind through out the night as result of relationship setback.

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I went to bed early enough last night but I woke up with different thought in my mind. It was so severe that I tried battling on how to bring an end to this mad but the more tried to stop, the more it came upon me. I began to think of different things but the only best solution is to end my life. This thought came as the only solution at this point. I was very tired I began to blame myself I heard different voices to talking to me, it was feeling of Boredom.

It was a feeling of a romantic partner in a usually short-lived but passionate affair. How can I get out of this mess but it kept sinking heavily into my heart. This bored moment sustained till 3am of which I supposed to enjoyed my deepest sleep but there was no sleep for me rather all I was hearing was the last moment of her walking out of me without a second thought. The voice keeps ringing now and then, thinking of what do was the next thing. If I should plead her would she accept? What have I really done wrong? Is it a crime to love? I shouldn't be simple? I made all sorts of claims within and without in order to bring an end this madness. I could really feel the boredom as I was soaked in total silent.

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I couldn't control as I couldn't do anything neither nothing than to left my room, walked to the door, opened the door to the gate not to return again. As I walked down the street I still kept asking myself, should I commit suicide? If this will bring an end to relationship misfortune I'm ready then no leaving a suicide note? but does anyone really care about me? What if I die quietly since no one ever care neither want to know about my boredom besides my life does matter to anyone not even the one that pretended to love me.

While still walking down the street, from the ends of the street, I found myself close to the river and I knew that's the end of this madness and it was about 5:30am, my mind was to end this life of frustration by the one I claimed to love. "But do love hurt?" It is what keeps ringing again and again in my heart. But if end this life now would she changed or even noticed my sacrifice?.

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I then walked down closed to the river, I stepped into the cold waters and still keep moving down till my head could no longer be seen, here was the battle between life and dead as I struggled to drown and I couldn't hear anything else except the silence feelings.

At this point I began to smile at myself knowing fully well that it's done with my boredom moment and I've been able to sacrifice for something. It was an exciting and amazing feeling having nothing to think about but my heart beats faster because I knew I'm going to die at least I'm dying for something (a lover that doesn't care about me). My eyes dimmed gradually I couldn't see the light any longer.

Immediately I recalled what my mom told me sometime ago she said, "Worries add no value to life rather it is a slow way to grave. Boredom is a state of being bored not a state of dying. My son, nothing worth dying for, even the one you truly loved will hurt you but never think of taking your life. I know how painful it is to be maltreated. I know you may not understand this now but day shall come but I'm praying for you to remember my words".

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I threw myself up while struggling to swim, i screamed for help by this time, it was about 6:00am people started visiting the river, I was rescued I sat for some moment thinking of my mom wise w saying and I asked myself "this is how I would have died under boredom for a woman who have no single feeling of what I'm passing through" My life was saved but my feelings was still hurt. The boredom still strong and overwhelming my soul.

Thank you for reading while waiting for full story in PART TWO.