How To Be The Best.

Photo by Micaela Parente on Unsplash

Sometimes it feels as if life is one big competition. There is always a struggle for power. Everybody wants to be the boss. Everybody needs to be the best, the fastest, the most successful, the richest, or the most popular person in the room. Even when you find yourself on the road, it seems like everybody needs to be in front all the time. And heaven forbid if someone else gets in front of you.

No wonder many people today are living by the motto of “second place is not good enough; coming second is only being the first loser”.

Maybe that’s you, but if so, maybe you need to re-think that philosophy. Living by this motto opens the door to serious mental issues, psychological problems, and stress.

Not Good Enough.

After finishing the last Olympic Games that were held before the pandemic, our Olympic team returned to South Africa.

One of these athletes also took part in the previous Olympic Games prior to this in 2012, when he returned home with several gold medals in the swimming events from those Olympic Games.

This year though, he came back with silver.

Personally, I thought he still performed incredibly well.

Obviously, it was a disappointment for him not to get gold again this time. But in my opinion, it could only serve as inspiration to either improve again in a positive way or realize that you cannot stay at your peak forever. But having achieved several gold medals at the Olympic Games already...good heavens, what an achievement!

Yet, as I listened to a radio interview with him, he almost sounded apologetic about his "bad performance". He said that he would work harder to prevent this from happening again next time around.

Now, maybe I misunderstood him or I missed something somewhere...but to be apologetic about your "not so good performance'...while you still came home with silver?

I will even totally get it if you come back and admit to the fact that the competition was downright tough and that you got beaten by someone else. Tell us how that inspires you to change your training routine so that you can beat the competition again next time. But apologize for getting silver? Let the man who points a finger at that, get on an airplane himself next time and show us how it should be done then...

I am not talking about if you just messed up. But feeling bad after being beaten fair and square? Thinking you have to explain yourself and make excuses?

How many athletes from all over the world took part and couldn’t even go home with any medal. How many athletes dream about taking part on the Olympic level and didn’t even make the team? Which one of us can point a finger at any of these athletes, medal or no medal? They are the elite of the elite if you want to call it that.

But over and above the personal ambitions and drive of these athletes, this actually shows under how much pressure these athletes are from the public as well.

To Be The Best Doesn't Guarantee Happiness.

To always be the best, always being first, is no guarantee to happiness either.

I found this article about Martin Phelps on the Empowerment Moments Blog, where Yvonne I. Wilson wrote a moving article; How God Can Bring You from Rock Bottom to Mountaintop Faith.

In this article, she writes how Martin Phelps has hit rock bottom some time ago. Thankfully his life has changed for him to be back on top again.

We do not always realize under what pressure these people are. We see the glitz and glamour side of the lifestyles of these super athletes, celebrities, and other famous people. Yet, we miss the blood, sweat, and tears, the agony, the exhaustion, and the stress they have to cope with behind the scenes.

Photo by Zac Durant on Unsplash

It is sad when I think about how many times I have seen parents pushing – no, even forcing their children – to perform and achieve. Having been involved in sports as an instructor for many years, I have often seen this happening. Often these parents would push their children to the limits to achieve something the parent could never achieve themselves. Living your dream through your child? How fair can that be?

These children typically grow up, accepting the idea of "second place is just being the first loser" as being the norm. That is the only difference they know between being a winner or a loser. The problem with this mentality is that there will always be someone who can beat you.

Even if you take gold at the Olympic Games, there is no guarantee that you will be able to repeat it the next time around. Does that make you a loser when you have to settle for silver next time?

But we get haunted by the idea that we don’t want to be second-best. We grow up with the idea of not settling for "second-best".

It is one thing when we buy something, especially when it is an expensive item, to want the best and not to settle for second best. But to see yourself as "second best", or worse even... "as a loser" compared to another person...?

Especially when it comes to your own value as a human being (even in competition), we need to stop comparing ourselves to other people. Strive to be the best you that you can be. And that best version of you has nothing to do with anybody else, or what they do or how they do it.

It is about the uniqueness of you and how you do it.

This is keeping it all within the context of each individual discipline of course.

Conquer Yourself First

We always have to be the best and we want to have the best. It’s always the best or nothing. Living by the motto of "second place is just being the first loser" can easily lead you down the path of frustration and even destruction.

Either the best or nothing can easily lead to "being the best, or being destroyed".

Where do we draw the line? Everybody cannot win all the time? When can we feel “good enough”? When will enough be enough?

Maybe it’s time to step outside of ourselves for a change.

Everybody wants to be a winner. And especially when it comes to competition (it doesn’t matter what form of competition), everybody wants to win.

Especially on the sports field, many athletes would pray before a match.

In essence, there is nothing wrong with that, as a matter of fact, I admire it.

But what are you praying for? Are you praying for victory?

What if that is what the opposition is also praying for? If that is the case, I almost want to ask the question “what did you train for then?” Does it now become a matter of whose prayer is going to be answered?

But if you pray for the ability to play at your best level, it becomes a different matter altogether. Winning or losing becomes irrelative when it comes to prayer. It is about giving your best. If you win, your training paid off. If you lose, you should receive the wisdom to learn from the game/match. You can then go back and improve your skills through training before your next match.

You see, that is exactly the problem. We tend to bounce from one extreme to the other. We either get obsessed with our own abilities and greatness, or we become passive and blame everything on God.

First of all, we need to realize that each one of us is running our own race. Yes, we should run to win. We should strive for excellence. But we run our own race. If you cannot conquer over yourself first, how can you conquer anybody else?

You Don’t Have To Settle For Second-Best.

If you strive to be victorious and/or successful, you should be seeking wisdom, clarity of mind, good health, or whatever else you might need to perform at your peak in the given situation.

Then you need to take responsibility and practice self-discipline. You need to do whatever you have to do in order to do the best that you can do. Perform at your best level, both mentally and physically. If you are a business person, practice honesty and maintain high moral values. Be the best business person you can be. Strive for excellence.

If someone beats you, learn from the experience. Gain knowledge from it and improve yourself. Getting beaten does not make you a loser. It provides you with an opportunity to learn and grow.

Taking second place in a race or competition, or losing a business deal to a competitor, doesn’t make you a loser. As long as you have done your best, and you can learn from the experience how to improve yourself, you are a winner. You didn't settle for second best in anything.

No Matter How Bad Your Situation Is, Don’t Give Up.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

To be the best, always being first, sometimes becomes such an obsession that people do themselves more harm than good.

In the sports arena, people injure themselves or they start using illegal substances that can cause permanent damage and in severe cases even death. In business, people drive themselves to complete exhaustion and they sacrifice much-needed rest. They push themselves until they sacrifice their health.

Does any of this sound familiar? Have you gone down this road maybe and you don’t know how to get back on track?

• First, you have to recognize the problem.
• Secondly, you have to make a conscious decision to change. You need to change your thinking. It’s nice to hold that gold medal, but a medal cannot guarantee your wellbeing.

All the training you did, applied with wisdom to get you in your own peak form, will have lasting benefits – with a medal or without. If you can maintain that healthy lifestyle, it will serve you well throughout your whole lifetime.

If you always feel driven to do the biggest deals in your company, it can lead to exhaustion and stress. You will always be living under the “threat” of someone else going doing a bigger deal than you.

But if you can be consistent, and be known for doing good business, year in and year out, it can provide you with dignity, respect, and even financial security.

It is easy to get caught up in the moment. And all the attention, fame, and status can get so overwhelming that we lose focus of the bigger picture...of life itself.

I have said this before, and I'll say it again... do not allow your goal to become an obsession!

Goal-setting is a never-ending process that will continue for the rest of your life... And life is a journey, enjoy it! You can do it by "being the best you" that you can be!

Thank you for reading my post. I do appreciate it!