The Pains of loosing my childhood dreams
I know that life plays out in different forms and shapes, and dependent on peoples perspective, our views per time may differ. I will be sharing my experience of loosing my dreams that was captured in those early days.
When I were younger, like i shared in my previous post, I had amazing dreams, it was full of amazement, the excitement was highly inspirational, I also do believe that many people out there also did have some amazing dreams like i did. You may have always even seen yourself and imagine how you would and will be, when you are older in age, I always wanted to be a celebrity, a lady of very high reputation and standard, A mother of all class, as well as an award winning wife.
it was not just a dream that was captured in imagination but it was seen in all my daily expression.
My obsession for babies is something i could not explain, i can recall one of the days when my mom was carefully watching me but i did not know, I requested for permission to play outside on the ground, she granted without delay, not knowing that she was watching me,
I gathered all kinds of green leaves, little containers for the kitchen business, I spent about two hours trying to cook different kinds of meals and taking care of my baby dolls toys, i did that with all amount of seriousness, commitment and excitement.
The image that was captured in my head, was me as a mom juggling a baby and two young children, as a traditional African lady, I had one at my back, girded with my half wrapper, my passion was so much that, people around me, had the feelings that i will have a child at a very young age, so my parents began to worry themselves that i will want to fulfill this dream of mine by all cost.
I was always beholding this dream of mine, until the unexpected happened, i would never believe that what i saw daily as my own life, will become a struggle, some days in the future.
My dad, one day wake up and did not believe that he can be responsibility for the children he once loved, as i grew up, daily my mom, will be going through experience that brought tears out of her eyes and we were always joining her to cry.
This feelings, as I grew up got me seek, tired and discouraged, as time went on, I began to disconnect from my dreams, and the most annoying issue was that, i began to develop hatred for anything man, My dreams began to die off, as life and occasion began to show up in different phases. the pressure of the family, doing my best and trying to assist my mom so as to pay the bills of the family.
Now at about 23 years down the line, as i reflect on the past, i realized that, i am completely far from my dreams and that my dreams are unrealistic, due to my current experience and the environmental situations around me. I am now passionately doing my best to become a bread winner for my family, the stress of my engagements, makes it not possible to fall back to picking up my dreams again.
Yes i know that, it is still possible to become a celebrity but yet i have lost many element that would basically make me that award winning wife except i will have to go down to the very beginning. Sharing this today has really brought a great relief to me and i will always be grateful for the #emotions and #feelings community for giving us the platform to express ourselves and also have the opportunity to recover the things that we have lost.
I was thinking its no more possible but as i was putting down my thought on the keys, i just realized that though time has far gone, resources have been waited but if i start now, it is very possible, Am also saying to my friends out there who had gone through probably the same thing as i did, If you make up your mind now, the dream is still possible, the only person that can make it not possible in you, if you can let go the feelings of the past, it is possible.
As i engage this write-up, I made a my decision, I have just realized that i did not fully forgive my Dad, so l have done that so that my joy, happiness and excitement can be fully restored, if you had same, you can as well do likewise, you will be glad you did it.
Thanks so much for your time, stopping by my blog is a privilege i can not take for granted. for those who have not yet loos sight of their childhood dreams, please do your best to stay focus, it may be difficult now but will be better some day. Thanks for having me @jimmyrosy