MY FEAR OF SPENDING MONEY
For a while now, I have realized that I have had a fear of spending money, now this might seem like a joke but it truly isn’t and I would be giving a back story on how this started.
Growing up, I wasn’t given birth to in a family with a silver spoon, I doubt if we even had a wooden spoon at a point but my mother worked hard and did all she could, she did so many businesses that at one point I lost track of it all.
Now, because of this, I never really experienced a lot of things in my childhood, but don’t get me wrong though because I would say I had what I needed.
Although certain things stood out like never having a birthday party until I was about 13, and there were a lot of other experiences that looking back now, I felt like I missed out on but then I didn’t care, I was happy, at least until I got into university.
I was a scholarship student so I went to an expensive private university and most days while people were eating, I couldn’t afford it, I rarely called home because I didn’t want my mother to have to worry so I would practically starve and end up in the hospital, but hey at least that was free.
This continued until I switched schools and at this point, I practically spent all my savings and allowances on books and other things because this school sucked money but still I tried to spend on the things I liked and also other people, I wasn’t frugal at this point and I didn’t mind spending money when it was necessary.
Fast forward to finishing school and going through the process of being unemployed and life, I realized how important money was and I rarely ever had enough so I began withdrawing and at this point, I hated spending money and would practically see most things that people spend on as unnecessary.
I still didn’t figure out how bad this was until I would refer to myself as the man in the Bible with the “one talent”, if you know his story, you would figure out why and I know that not wanting to spend means most days I avoid things that might even give me money because I am really scared of losing any money.
I recently went out with my friends and they got waxed for about 29 dollars, I didn’t because I didn’t see it as necessary but as a luxury, and to be honest I didn’t have 29 dollars just lying around.
I feel like at the point, I would have to consider if I truly had a fear of spending or a fear of not having enough or maybe I didn’t spend because I didn’t have, period.
I guess going through certain experiences in life and having to always worry about everything has had a long-lasting effect on me and I do hope that it eventually wears off when I finally have enough.
Thank you for opening this box of passion
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Not wanting to spend at all or too much is not a relationship you cant break, from my own viewpoint, when you spend too much it's considered lavish, some people don't like to spend at all due to this reason.
I believe whichever reason people have for having such a phobia, the best way to start being in control, is or might be to first seek more knowledge in financial literacy, this might help to know the things you need or are more important to you first.
Also, regrets about something you bought or invest in the past can lead to not wanting to spend money on anything else.
Not a pro in this area but am sure being comfortable with what you buy and also rewarding yorself sometimes is not a bad idea.
Life isn't perfect, so your spending habit doesn't have to be perfect too but they can always be better if we find the problem and hopefully the solution presents itself or you find it yourself.
Insightful blog
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Insightful reply
I wish I could pin this because this is so exact, minus not having the privilege of having money growing up, I feel like I have some awful investments in people and other financial schemes and I am always scared that if I spend too much I won't have enough.
Thank you so much for this and your advice.
You are always welcome.
I'm glad you can relate to that.
Maybe it's time you start investing in yourself.
Have a great day ahead😊
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Thank you, have a great day.
Over time the fear wears out and the worry goes away, make as much money as you can and the desire to spend will come
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It’s a balancing act for sure. Always gotta make sure it won’t set you back too much.
But even if you have enough, it doesn’t mean you have to spend it either. I think it’s basically about how much it fulfills you and what else you could be doing with that money. Even if I’m rich, I will not go crazy spending. I also think about who my money is going to. I’m more likely to spend more if its going to honest people.
I think I need to learn the balance because right now I don't have it.
My goal is to have money not to spend it, I don't know if that sounds crazy but I like having the safety net.
It doesn’t sound crazy. You just quit your job too so it’s easy to get a little nervous. Just keep looking for more comfortable and fulfilling ways to earn. Then when it comes together everything will be so sweet
That's the plan, find something I love that can also satisfy my financial needs.
Maybe you have to start by setting aside percentages for your money.
For instance, you can set aside 50% for all your fixed expenses like food, data subscription, nepa bills, etc. Group A
Then keep 10% for investments. Group B
Another 10% as savings towards a goal. Group C
Then 30% for guilt free spending. Group D.
The guilt free spending will be on things you love, books, shoes, clothes, eating out with friends, etc.
Any time a particular group finishes, you just need to replenish them
When you've worked it out in this way, you will find out that you will spend your money without guilt
If you don't understand, I read it from this book, I Will Teach You to Be Rich by Ramit Sethi. Look it up in chapter 4. It will explain it better.
This sounds like an amazing idea but how do I share them? what account?
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That fear is something I experience too. I may have cash but I wouldn't touch it. Not by any means...
Like you, my fear may have stemmed from experience but I also feel I need to make huge sacrifices to get to where I'm going....😣
We like the safety net of having money but spending it is another problem.
No worries, we would be fine.
I understand your point and the feeling of being raised by a single mother. I have struggled and felt pain but my mother has always been there. I don't even spend money at all a time and too many people call me stingy but I keep investing in myself until it feels comfortable to invest in myself and spend on myself.
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Same here, I am being tagged as frugal but I don't feel comfortable enough to be spending right now.
I do not consider you as any of those things listed, if I could go deeper you’ve had nothing right from the start and mostly what you had where either through scholarships or given by your parents, so to me this is still a new phase and you’re still getting used to being yourself… Let’s just say with time your mindset begins to adjust, no matter the amount spent it can never be worth nothing as long as it’s for your own happiness and treat…
So when you go out next time give your wallet to your friends let them spend it with you I think that’s a good start
I have that fear but when I realized I work to make money actually I will spend and I will surely have my savings by not spending all
That is true, we work to get money so we have to spend it
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Spending money and being thrifty is a good virtue. Don't spend it on unnecessary stuff. I think hope you will be able to earn a decent income and that you will be able to enjoy the life you want. All of us have different goals and it doesn't mean the more money the better it will be. Some people sacrifice too much health for money.
Wishing you all the best in your future endeavours.
That you will be as rich as you want to be.
As always... I found you on @dreemport
Thank you so much for your wishes, I am grateful.
It's is understandable that you would fear spending on some days because really the thought of not having when you need it is scarier than that thing you consider a luxury.
It is good though to spend sometimes especially when you need to. I think you have to learn to balance it out. Set some money aside for the necessities, then some for luxury, emergencies and the rest.
Make sure you do not spend above the money you set aside for a particular thing. That way you get to spend on the necessary things and still spoil yourself a little.
I am trying to do work on doing that, it is a bit hard though but I would in time, thank you so much.
Well, it happens.
Life happens and that's one reason why we need to learn to adjust to whatever situation we find ourselves in.
So long we are doing our best and putting it all to God in prayers, things will surely become better for us.
As regards what you said, even when you have gotten enough, I feel that you would be able to spend money on things you want without fear of overspending, however, the act of not spending on unnecessary things is something that may not change which is good.
I don't spend on things I want also, that's the problem but I am trying to be better, I know over spending isn't good so I wouldn't be that person.
Hey,
I feel you, almost same... I always have an excuse not to stop working. like I need to work and work, people often told me it's to much even my wife tells me that...but that feeling that something bad might happen.
even being here blogging to earn can be considered working... my wife would probably say I'll need to stop and sleep more.
@khaleesii, hahaha how to know 🤣.
We need to be able to have a balance, your wife is right.
Working too much isn't a good thing and you need rest, I hope we find the balance.
I knew you were a bookworm... Scholarship... Now, I guess our date would have to be to a bookstore 🤣🤣🤣.
It's okay if you are keeping yourself in check. The truth is most things we spend money on, if we don't have them we won't die. I believe treating myself once in a while but important things would always come first - scale of preference 😍😍
😆 you know what? I refuse to accept the title.
Scale of preference is very important, I am trying to work on that right now.
Hahahaha I know you are humble and that's why you won't accept the title.
😆 no jare.
Hahahaha. Efiwe crush. This sounds perfect.
😆 what does that mean?
Efiwe means book worm... Someone who loves book so much... A brainy.
Oh interesting.
😍😍😍😍... Accept it... I know you are humble but come on... 🤣😂😂
😆 I have accepted, oya be going.
😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😂 don't be tired of me na
I will try not to.
Hahaha. Try more please.
I think the first thing I want to say here is that your mother sounds like an amazing woman, going through so much to take care of her family is truly commendable and you should be proud.
Learning to control our spending no matter if it started as a necessity from the times when we didn't have enough to spend is a habit I have no doubt will help you a lot in future by saving rather than wasting on unnecessary things.
You've got this covered so I know you'll figure out the difference between being wasteful and necessary spending 👍 thanks to #dreemport for sharing.
Thank you so much, I would eventually figure it out.
No matter if you had a silver spoon or wooden spoon you are wise enough if you are on the way to save your money
Those who struggle a lot knew very well about necessity and luxury.
Sometimes our fear helps us to grow better toward a better lifestyle.
@dreemport brought me here.
This is very true but we still need a balance and I am trying to get one.
I wish you have enough money to fulfill your desires. Have a blessed day.
I just want to get to the point where I regret spending some money
Want to or don't want to?
Badly want to. I guess it's a case of some can eat but have no food.
You would get there soon enough, no worries.
You really had a tough time growing up but I believe that shaped you for the better. Sure that made you afraid of spending money..
I have always known you to be an intelligent girl. Guess that's why you were on scholarship... Kudos..
@dreemport directed me to your post
Had a tough time but I learned a lot from it.
Thank you so much.
Good to know you learnt from it... Guess it was an experience to remember
I try not to remember it but it was an experience to learn from.
No amount of money will change your habits; the habits will expand to make you feel like nothing is ever enough... you must address the fear behind the habits, and add courage, consistently, to make new habits. This is NOT an easy task. It is a journey I am on ... learning to find things to enjoy in the budget that are responsible, learning to find responsible investments, and then taking small steps to acting on spending on those things ... it is hard work, beating back the fear and growing new habits ... but it is a journey worth taking.
I am trying to learn how to balance it all, for me, it isn't about not being satisfied with what I have, it is fear of overspending and not having enough.
Eventually, I do know that I would be better because I can't live in fear.