LOLZ Weekly Joke Challenge - Help Build A Hive Based Joke Database and Earn $LOLZ

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A New LOLZ Joke Challenge Is Here!

Welcome to our (more or less) weekly LOLZ Joke Challenge where you can share a joke you know and help us build our joke database for use with the LOLZ token. We have been a bit slow at getting the last jokes added to the database so right after we finish posting this we are going to get to adding the new jokes!

The Tasks

  • Tell us a joke in the comments. 1 LOLZ
  • Re-blog this post, and tell us you did in the comments. 1 LOLZ
  • Tag a friend. 1 LOLZ

All rewards will be distributed via the drop bot in the comments so be sure to leave a comment even if you only reblogged the post and don't feel like telling a joke.

If we select your joke to include in the database, we will reward you with an additional 5 $LOLZ, and include you as the source for the joke (unless you prefer to be anonymous). Post as many jokes as you like, and earn an additional 5 $LOLZ for each joke selected for inclusion.

What We Are Looking For

Any joke can be posted and earn an $LOLZ, although we ask that you stay Safe For Work.

To be selected for inclusion in our database, your joke will need to be -

  • Clean. LOLZ is kid friendly. Please, no dirty, racial, or potty humor.
  • Short. We prefer jokes with short setups and punch lines.
  • Funny! Or at least Punny.

Your joke does not to be original. Any joke you know will do.

Lets get this party started!

Come on people... MAKE US LAUGH!

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About LOLZ Token

LOLZ is a Hive engagement token with the mission of spreading laughter and joy on the Hive blockchain. And while the LOLZ Project may have a sense of humor, it is no joke.

LOLZ is the world's first "Proof of Humor" token and is mined when LOLZ holders use the !LOL or !LOLZ command in comments to share a clean joke and tip the author a freshly minted LOLZ token.

Help Support the LOLZ Project

Here are a few ways you can help the LOLZ Project.

  • Use the !LOL and !LOLZ command often to tip fellow Hive authors.
  • If one of our jokes makes you smile, consider giving it an upvote! All rewards will be staked to help cover Resource Credit costs for the bot and increase curation value.
  • Follow @lolztoken and participate in our airdrops, contests, and giveaways.
  • Delegate or donate. Hey, we aren't too proud to beg. If you have some extra Hive power you can spare consider delegating it to @lolzbot, or use the link below to donate Hive.

lolz leofiance cent waiv proofofbrain ctp broadhive neoxian oneup
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131 comments
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The operators doing V2K with remote neural monitoring want me to believe this lady @battleaxe is an operator. She is involved in the same discord groups around @fyrstikken and friends. Her discord is Battleaxe#1003. Shes in some groups with seemingly detached characters that dont even acknowledge the others in the group, looking oddly staged. She starts projects and does nothing with it or the delegations after its used to sway people. Like @steempowertwins does<------fake along with her @teamgood <------fake. No substance in her comments and has a following that adores her for what? Life coach she is not nor is she insightful with any meaningful skills to follow. Ruler of pixie dust maybe? I would like for someone to show me but probably wont out fear maybe? @fyrstikken groups around him down voted me into censored and not viewable on my accounts as soon I told what they were doing.
I cant prove @battleaxe is the one directly doing the V2K and RNM. Doing it requires more than one person at the least. It cant be done alone. She cant prove she is not one of the ones doing V2K because she cant and could care less. I guarantee she knows this is going around and still wont prove it because she cant. Many of us here can prove what they have been doing to survive the past 5 years. What does she live off of? It definitely isnt in public view here.

I was drugged in my home covertly, it ended badly. They have been trying to kill me using RNM with applied V2K mental games while revealing as many accessories to the crime as they can. I bet nobody does anything at all. Ask @battleaxe to prove it. I bet she wont. Pretty serious accusations to just blow off and leave the crypto community hanging in fear of this danger.

They want me to believe the V2K and RNM in me is being broadcast from her location. And what the fuck is "HOMELAND SECURITY" doing about this shit? I think stumbling over their own dicks maybe? Just like they did and are doing with the Havana Syndrome. They should start by looking at the communications between the top witnesses of Hive and the connection to @fyrstikken groups. Google his fucking name and see where his other interests lie around at least once maybe? The connections between @fyrstikken groups and all the exchanges built for Hive? Bet that would reveal some crazy ball less nutty shit. Homeland security should start preparing for their own incarcerations seeing how sloppy this was done. Patriot act my ass. Think we are really fools? Bad position your not getting out of. Dont be last to blow the whistle. Who will protect you?

People in and around @fyrstikkens groups are reckless and should have shown the proper media what they had before taking me hostage for 5 long torturing years and counting. That is a long time to wait for someone to die.

What would you say while having a gun pointed at your head from an undisclosed location? Have people find it? My hands are tied while they play like children with a gun to my head. Its a terrorist act on American soil while some yawn and say its not real or Im a mental case. Many know its real. This is an ignored detrimental to humanity domestic threat. Ask informed soldiers in the American military what their oath is and why nothing is being done. Nobody has I guess. Maybe someone told ill informed soldiers they cant protect America from military leaders in control that have ill intent. How do we protect locked up soldiers prevented from telling the truth from being treated as criminals? Not to mention civilians we let our leaders treat the same way. https://ecency.com/fyrstikken/@fairandbalanced/i-am-the-only-motherfucker-on-the-internet-pointing-to-a-direct-source-for-voice-to-skull-electronic-terrorism-terrorism

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Hi there!
Love your project!

What does it mean when life gives you melons?

.... You are dyslexic!

LOL

Re-blogged and tagging @amanda.yrr

Eythorphoto!

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!LOLZ ... We already have that one though. !DROPLOLZ 3

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Man walks into a bar and punches the bartender on the nose.
"why'd you do that for?"
Man walks out then walks back in and punches the bartender on the nose again.
"why'd you do that for?"
Man walks out then walks back in and before he could punch the bartender in the nose he gets given a full schooner of beer.

The end.

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Thanks for that, bit long for our needs, but funny! !LOLZ

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lolztoken.com

Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
Lack of concentration.
Credit: reddit
@akumagai, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @lolztoken
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (2/10)

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Dog walks into a bar and orders a beer, bartender looks at it and scratches their head. You identifying as a human? Dog barks back so security kicks it out as no dogs allowed in the pub.

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A genie asked: "What's your first wish?"

John answered: "I wish I was rich."

The genie nodded and then said: "OK, so what's your second wish, Rich?"

Reblogged and tagging @shiftrox

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!LOLZ nice! We may need to shorten it, but accept it! !DROPLOLZ 8

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? He woke up.

!LOL

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hi @bananasfallers and reblog and !lol

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lolztoken.com

Breaking news: a pygmy shaman is being pursued by the authorities
That's right be on the lookout for a small medium at large.
Credit: reddit
@lolztoken, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @pablodare
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (1/10)

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I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.

I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered

!LOLZ

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I've been waiting a long time for this. I hope I don't choke.

What kind of car does a buffalo drive? A Furrari.

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What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.

Reblog and tag @scarykangaroo

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I took the next joke from here: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/word-play-jokes Sorry, I couldn't think in a good one.

"-What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? -Envelope. "
I already reblogged it! Thank you!

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ok, I can’t stop myself 😁 Last one:
“How many tickles does it take to make an octopus 🐙 laugh?”
“Ten tickles!”

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Ah, we already have that one. !LOLZ

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(Edited)

Now we're officially jokebros, cheers! !PIZZA
And I think I'm capable of !LOLZ too 🙌

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I got jokes!

"Did you know that I'm on a seafood diet? Yeah, I see food and I eat it!"

"Did you hear about the movie 'Constipation'? It never came out..."

"A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and people..."

"I started a band called 999 megabytes. But we ain't got no gigs yet."

"Don't you hate it when people answer their own questions? I do."

🤣

cc @casimirio

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  1. Accepted! !DROPLOLZ
  2. Funny, but not our style.
  3. We have that one.
    4 Accepted (have to drop more in another post.
  4. We have that one.

Thanks!

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¿Cuando fue la última vez que ganaste una carrera?.
Pues cuando era un espermatozoide llegue primero al óvulo.

@pablodare te tagueo y reblogueo para ver si nos ganamos algo de lolz

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I got one as well:
"On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you wear the trousers in your relationship?" - "Honey? May I please take part in a survey?"

cc: @patchwork

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My participation:

What is the difference between falling from the 1st or 10th floor?
. Falling from the 1st floor: PAF ! Ahhhhh!
. Falling from the 10th floor: Ahhhhh! PAF !

Reblogged and tag: @gestion.alive
!LOLZ

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What's the difference between a piano, glue, and a tuna?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck on that one.

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!LOLZ a little long for our needs, but funny! !DROPLOLZ 3

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Did you know it's impossible to use "beef stew" as a password?

Yeah, apparently it's not stroganoff.

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I haven't entered the challenge in a while, so let's give it a try with a couple of most likely known puns, but I just read them recently:

  • What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter

  • Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other: "What kind of music do you like?". The other says: "I'm a big metal fan"

Keep up the great work!
!ALIVE

And reblogged

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We like them both! !DROPLOLZ 9

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Cool, thanks!
!LUV
!ALIVE

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(Edited)

PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA!

PIZZA Holders sent $PIZZA tips in this post's comments:
casimirio tipped lolztoken (x1)
@rarej(2/5) tipped @lolztoken (x1)
casimirio tipped bravetofu (x1)

You can now send $PIZZA tips in Discord via tip.cc!

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Alright I got a few, liked and reblogged of course

Where does an eskimo keep his bitcoin? in a cold wallet

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!

Why can't you run through a campground? You can only ran, because it's past tents.

Two friends went to a campy horror movie, the first one asked the other what he thought of it... The second said that horror movie was in tents

Get in here @torran

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We will take the first 3, the last one is just a bit long for our needs. !DROPLOLZ 9

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Why are Hive users all like potential dictators?
The more power they have, the more their vote matters.

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Just re-hived, because any cause for making others smile or LOL gets my vote! 💪

I would like to nominate @fruityfruitz because of her good sense of humor and funny puns every now and then 😊.

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(Edited)

😃Thanks for nominating me @tanjakolader. I re-blogged as well because I also love your sense of humor and generally love a good laugh.

Why did the scarecrow win the employee of the month award?
-because he was outstanding in his field.

I’m nominating @bearmol for this challenge.

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(Edited)

Lolz 😁 Thanks for the laughs @fruityfruitz @tanjakolader @rarej

What did the bee 🐝 say when he returned to the hive?

Honey 🍯 I'm home.

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ah yes, what is a dad without his dad jokes 😂

!LOL

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