The Free Bird Flew the Nest

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The other day I wrote about the changes that were coming into my life. Our lives.
Well, last Sunday the anticipated and dreaded day had arrived.
Anticipated because, of course, I am happy and proud that my daughter has taken her first steps into independence. Dreaded because...well, for the same reasons.
Let's see how I'm doing, shall we?

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Source Edited in LunaPic

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One flew OUT of the Cuckoo's nest

I'm loving this title because, well, I'm AWESOME hahaha.
Kidding. The reason why I chose this title is because it's just my favorite movie of all times (One flew over the cuckoo's nest) and because it's true.
Our family isn't your most average family.

I've always known this. The family I grew up in seemed average, and turned out to be everything but. However, my parents were very strict. Sometimes ridiculously so, and I've always sworn not to be like that.

There were times when my daughter would tell me: "Mohooommmm...Please act NORMAL!"
And I'd turn around and say: "Oh ya? You want a normal mom? Like..." And I'd fill the dots with an example from people we knew, who had 'normal' parents.
She'd always consider it for a few seconds, and then vigorously shake her head and say that she didn't want a normal mom after all. 😆

So yeah, we're not a 'normal' family.
Maybe I've even been too easy sometimes.
But it doesn't matter what I've been, and how I've handled things because the most important thing is that my eldest survived all that crazy, and that she's grown into a level-headed young adult, who knows wrong from right, loves animals, hates injustice, knows what's going on in the world, and doesn't automatically form an opinion just because authorities tell her what to think or believe.
When I know I'm right, I really know it but I've always told my kiddos to think for themselves, and don't just believe anyone, not even me.

I believe I could have done a much worse job because it seems to have worked.

Anyway, trailing off here. It's funny how this works...When someone leaves the household, all of a sudden all these memories come flooding back from when they were little. At least, that's the case for me.

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In an earlier post by @camthecreator, and a comment from my end, he said that he understands how difficult it is, and that I knew how it would have been for his mother when he left. All I could think was that his mother had quite some time to get used to the idea, since we already decided to leave Ireland about a year before we actually did. Well, to Mexico. The leaving idea was there before that.
In my case, my daughter told me that she was considering going back with him when he'd go back, temporarily, only a little while ago. Then they sprung the news of them leaving for good (well, I never say never haha, so for good is not in my vocabulary in this case) only a few weeks ago. Two days before we moved into the new house, to be precise. So I barely had the time to get adjusted to the idea when they already had the tickets booked to leave less than a week later...

In this short time, I went through almost all the stages of grief, as if you'd mourn a person who passed away. Denial (as in: ah, they won't be able to book a ticket that quickly), then a bit of anger (how can they do this right now? Right this moment when we just moved to a bigger, more expensive house?). I left out the bargaining. Then I did fall into a little bit of a depression, as I felt like their decision came at a really shitty time. I felt like being left to pick up the pieces on my own. And now, finally, a bit of acceptance.

From the moment they booked, until they were actually leaving, there were only 6 days. Not a lot of time. Then there was a huge part of frustration because I didn't have the funds to do much. Even buying food is a challenge. I would have loved to be able to do something nice with them, like snorkeling, or at least a last cenote visit. But even the $10 USD per person to visit one of those wasn't within my budget. Let alone anything more.

But OK, it's not worse for me than it was for Cam's mother. I don't think it matters when you know they're leaving. You just have to make the best of the time you have, any day really. I believe it's hard to see them fly the nest either way. For any mother, for any parent.

Sunday came nevertheless, and at least I could manage to gather enough money for my youngest son and myself to go with them to the airport to see them off, and actually make it back home. It'd have to do.

Anyway, we had the taxi booked for noon. Their plane wasn't going until 6.45 pm, so with less than an hour to the airport, they had ample time to get there in time and check in etc. I believe we left them around 4-4.30 pm as they were going through the security check. This is the last picture I took of my daughter and her little brother saying good-bye.

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It's the last picture I'll take of her for a while...

I didn't shed any tears. I didn't want to because I didn't want to make things extra hard. I didn't want for them to leave with a heavy heart but I can't always control this so I'm quite glad I managed to this time.

I'm proud of the young woman she's become and proud of them both for taking these first steps into complete independence and 'the real world'.

My youngest and I went back on the bus, managed to get some (very!) cheap food in Cancun. Walked across the little market for a bit. Talked to a guy who was selling
Meade (or honey wine), invited him to the event I'm co-organizing on the 30th...
A productive day. A sad but also a happy day at the same time.

On the bus back to Playa, I realized:

We'll miss them. But we'll live.

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14 comments
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I really enjoyed that. Thanks. She's lucky to have you.

I can't help but think as I was reading they'll be back. Trading affordable and sunshine for expensive and balmy rain might sound exciting to someone learning to fly, they'll be back. Or I'm wrong, which I'm really good at by the way. = }

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Thank you!
Yes, I have the same in the back of my mind. But I've been wrong too before.
Either way, it's not the end of the world. Things happen for a reason, and I'm sure that we'll all come out of it better and stronger in the end.
If they're not going to be back here, then maybe somewhere down the line once we pick up our travels again. Who knows how a few tickets to Thailand or Bali could tempt them to come along hehe...

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In this short time, I went through almost all the stages of grief, as if you'd mourn a person who passed away. Denial (as in: ah, they won't be able to book a ticket that quickly), then a bit of anger (how can they do this right now? Right this moment when we just moved to a bigger, more expensive house?). I left out the bargaining. Then I did fall into a little bit of a depression, as I felt like their decision came at a really shitty time. I felt like being left to pick up the pieces on my own. And now, finally, a bit of acceptance.

These stages I know all too well .. mourning while they aren't dead, these phases are a true thing, I've walked through myself. To move on with your own life, you have no other choice than go through these stages. In your case, everything seems to be processed a bit faster lol, but that's probably because you can still speak to your daughter :)

As you said, you'll live. And honestly, I personally didn't want to risk traveling a month from now because the upcoming restrictions will probably make things hard again, I would play it safe too, at least they won't get stuck somewhere, and arrived at your sister's house safely.

It will also give you some less worry about budgeting, and I'm sure you will make the most out of it and they will too!

Much love <3

!CTP
!1UP

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Yes, you would know all these stages like no other.
My friend in the Netherlands knows them better than anyone...as she's lost her soon for good. I'm just glad that she's still in our lives, even if she's far away. I know we'll see them again, whenever that will be. Just like I know you'll see yours again.
Yeah, it would seem like I've gone through the stages rather quickly.
I had to, there wasn't much time. But I'm sure all of those stages will come back to haunt me somewhere down the line.
Especially when we're doing things that they're not here for to do with us.
I think those will be the moments when we'll miss them the most.

Thank you for your kind words my sister. Much love to you!

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Thank you for such a personal post. Goodbyes are never easy :(

!CTP

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We all had to leave the nest.It's human nature.Think of how you felt when you left home for the first time.Some leave and never look back ,Some are close to home.Your daughter will always need her mother no matter how far she is.An email or text just to let you know she's ok. You got a pic of her and her brother together cherish it.One day she'll come back to visit when she's ready.For now all the best to you and your daughter.

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Yeah, I know. It wasn't something I didn't see coming, eventually.
I know she'll find her feet, even without me around the corner.
She's intelligent and knows more than most of her peers. I know she'll be fine.
Thank you for the well wishes!

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This planet is tiny, it's not like they left and you'll never see them again. It can be painful on both sides but this is life, we all had to choose a path at some point and some of us are still doing it more often than not.

One flew over the cuckoo's nest

LOVE this movie!

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I understand how bad you feel, except my daughter moved 8 hours away by car. For you, It is not so easy to get to her.
I think it kind of sucks. We invest all of our time, energy, and love raising kids to become responsible adults and then they go off and do what we raised them to do.

It just doesn't seem fair. But, life goes on.
!CTP

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Wow! That is a very touching page in your life. I mean, I feel you. I'm happy and sad.
You did a very good mom-job. Your kiddos are on a wonderful path, especially with a mom like you, and your kiddos are fantastic!
Thank you for sharing, right from your heart.

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