Repurposing The Anger For Growth

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(Edited)

Emotions play a very heavy role in influencing our actions and motives. They are basically like fuel for engines. And sometimes, they drive us in the wrong directions. However, these emotions are fundamentally functions and reflections of our thought processes.

You sure must have heard of the statement, "As a man thinketh, so he is." It is from the Bible, but it sure has a self-explanatory meaning in its context. One does not need the wisdom of Solomon to comprehend the interpretation of this statement.



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Many may say that our emotions and feelings define or shape us. But, in reality, we define our emotions; we just don't realize it. This is because there is an underlying perception of a situation, or matter, that causes these emotions to fall into place.

I am no neurologist, but you will surely agree with me that if a kid, say your child or some child of a relative, asks you for money and you deny having the money, the child could simply agree with you and move on with life. That same child may not think much of it, even if you had just bought yourself some nice shoes.

However, this may not be the case with an adult. It is quite normal to ask someone for help, knowing that they probably can, and then they turn you down. This is simply because you had some thought process for it. And that process may be similar to what the person in question could have done but did not; it may irritate one.

This may not be the case for many, as some would rather claim that they did not think much about it and just let it go. Simply ride with me, as we are headed somewhere.

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Now, there are four fundamental emotions: happiness, sadness, fear, and anger. Many other emotions are based on these four. But for today, we'll be focusing on anger.

Anger is basically an emotion we feel when things go wrong or when we feel wronged by someone. It is something everybody feels, and it is relatable.

However, it is a powerful tool. It can be used as a weapon, in fact. Essentially, it can create and destroy. The choice primarily lies in our hands, or rather, our thought processes.

We may not be able to entirely control how we feel. Yet, the way we use it depends on our decisions. And the way we use it can be divided into two categories: constructive and destructive. They are both self-explanatory.

Destructive anger is practically inevitable if one does not take a second, at least, to rethink the repercussions of one's immediate response. The consequences can be severe, and they frequently are. This is why one needs to be less ignorant in order to strengthen one's logical thinking process.

An example may not be necessary, you would think, but it may buttress the point we are getting a little.

Where I am from, cursing (not necessarily the F* word) is something that is normal not uncommon to hear, especially if one is in the vicinity where there are less educated people.

Years ago, I was walking back from a job where I served as an IT (industrial training) student, and I crossed paths with the wrong individual. Rather than peacefully maneuvering our way and just passing by each other, we brushed each other's shoulders -- apparently his fault, as I was in my lane and he wasn't.

I just ignored it, rather than look back. And then a sudden slap on my neck sounded like lightning. I gently turned back to find that I had crossed paths with a thug. I am small-bodied and no match for him. That did not matter to me, and I was furious. But rather than start a fight that I could not win, I just walked away as the people around him held him.

Had I chosen to fight, I may not have the complete set of teeth I have today. And that would have been as a result of neglecting logical reasoning and picking up a losing battle. At the same time, I could have been lucky enough to land a violent attack and put him in a coma. I would definitely not be here writing this now.

The Stepping Stone

The cognitive approach to matters determines the category in which one's usage of anger can fall into. If one approaches an appalling situation without much thought, one may end up regretting one's actions. That is, if they are conscious of regret. But in most cases, the repercussions tend to be self-detrimental, so they might as well end up regretting it.

On the other hand, constructive anger is the only weapon for forging something sensible from an unpleasant situation. An example would be being angry at being sidelined for not being good enough for a position. If one takes the anger that one may feel and channels it into actually developing oneself to the point of mastery, it sure would be a "stepping stone" rather than a "stumbling block."

As earlier established, anger can be a tool for creation. By acknowledging one's feelings of anger and processing the cause of the anger in the first place, one can arrive at a meaningful approach to the matter such that one will be able to prevent such an incident from repeating itself. This ultimately could result in one developing a feat that may not have been achieved had the anger not set in in the first place.

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Like our beloved (not) COVID-19, anger could be like a plague. It will eat one from the inside out, so slowly that one really may never notice it, eventually turning one into a ticking bomb. It really is only a matter of time before one explodes (not literally).

And just like a plague, it will spread bad energy not only to those that already know you, but to those that are yet to know you. This can go a long way towards inhibiting one's progress, in turn impeding success in one's life.

Rather than letting anger control one, it could be transfigured into a tool in bringing about the change that may be required to better one's perspective and life in general.



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ℍ𝕖𝕪, 𝕚𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕠𝕪𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕥, 𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕝𝕪 𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕒 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥, 𝕣𝕖𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕘, 𝕠𝕣 𝕦𝕡𝕧𝕠𝕥𝕖. 𝕀𝕥'𝕝𝕝 𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕓𝕖 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕.
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T͜͡H͜͡A͜͡N͜͡K͜͡ ͜͡Y͜͡O͜͡U͜͡ ͜͡F͜͡O͜͡R͜͡ ͜͡S͜͡T͜͡O͜͡P͜͡P͜͡I͜͡N͜͡G͜͡ ͜͜͜͜͡͡͡͡B͜͡Y͜͡



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36 comments
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Very nice one Olujay. There are just two sides to everything. It's nice how you spelt out how anger could be both good and bad.

People need to learn that they're not made to be inherently angry and should try to tame their emotions, and as you've pointed out, get angry productively and ultimately enhance their growth.

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Everything has two sides indeed. You decide which side you want to be.

One of the tests for maturity is control of emotions. Acting impulsively could be detrimental.
Thank you for your contribution, man.

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Emotions played a vital part in our life and it sometimes, and most of the time, controls us, particularly anger. Like, if you are impatient, you'll most likely get mad in a flash.
I like the way you expound on the topic and give clarity about it.
!PIZZA

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Emotions have a powerful way of driving us, and often times they are a little over the top. It is left for us to make the logical decisions with heads on what it is we actually want for ourselves. It, however, takes deliverate thinking and effort to gain control over them. And this will come with time and sufficient practice.

Thank you for your contribution. I am glad you saw my perspective. And thanks for the token.

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Very correct. Anger can be very volatile and useful. As someone who's a very feeling person, I have a wide spectrum of emotions and it used to anger me that humans can be so emotional 🤣. At that time, I thought suppressing it was best until it came back way stronger. I started to learn how to control and channel my emotions. Even the Bible admits that anyone who can control his anger and emotions is stronger than a warrior.

Good for you that you didn't pick a fight with the guy 😂, I can't even imagine. Nigerians are raging.

I just remembered something now, the first time I carried a 25 litre keg🤣. We had water issues in my community so we used to fetch somewhere nearby. That day, my brother came home from school and I had already fetched water, I'm the youngest in my house so I was about 13 years old at the time and couldn't carry the kegs myself.

I left the water there and at the end of the day my brother returned to school, that was when I remembered the water I fetched. My mum was mad at me and was blaming me for not mentioning when my brother was around, she said I should find my way around it. She didn't mean it but I was also mad at her for blaming me so I angrily left the house.

That night, I carried four 25 litre kegs all by myself 😂, I can't even try that now. I placed it on my head and brought all 4 home myself! The anger kept me going and I stayed angry until I carried everything 😂. I think my version of anger is best with house chores 🤣.

Thanks for sharing this, we keep getting better🤗

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Your experience made me laugh but it is a great truth, under the effects of anger we can do things that we could not do under other conditions, you used it constructively, you chose well. Because it could also have been something disastrous.
There is a slight difference for a good result and a bad one. That is why under the effects of anger a person can even kill others that he even loves. So I congratulate you, you made an excellent use of your anger and I imagine that at that moment your mom was very happy hahaha 😅😁😉

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That's very true. Anger brings out this super strength in you.

😂😂 Oh yeah, you can imagine her happiness. Believe me, I never carried any container lesser from that day onward🤧🤣

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That is the thing: repressing one's feelings is more like shying away from it, giving it more room to grow. You just have to confront them and deal with them. The Bible always says it all.

Nigerians are to be dealt with caution.

You totally cracked me up with you superhuman strength. 🤣🤣

How on earth did you do that? You carried four 25kg kegs of water? Are you sure there was even water in them? Wow wow.
Sekeni the Supergirl. 😁😁

To think that you cannot carry them even at the age you are now makes it all the more amazing.
You anger sure gives you superpowers.

Thank you for poppin in with this amazing comment.
(I am still wondering...)

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😂 I know right?? I still wonder too. Perhaps I should join Bollywood, I'll be able to monetize the anger😂

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Haha... 😁
Better go monetize your talent.

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Anger can be channeled to bring growth and it doesn't just bring destruction like most people think it does. The feeling of causing havoc when angry is just a mindset that has been on from older generations to ours, I have made good choice with anger and it paid off.

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Having a misconception that anger will only bring havoc and not seeing it as a tool that can as well be used to forge greatness is probably the first step to not gaining control over it.

One has to admit that anger is normal, just like every other emotion, and it can be seized to make good out of it. It is only a reflection of our thoughts, and a good one at that. It poses the opportunity to understand one better and in turn, could be used to factor growth.

Good decisions can still be made with anger. Thank you for your contribution.

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😂 It's the part about thug fight for me... I'd say you were very sensible. Putting such anger into action would've been disastrous and that is why when I get such feeling, I would make it known through my words and if trying to resolve the conflict only worsens things, I would back off.

Yeah about bringing change, anger helps but not in all situations though. I think it's important for everyone to know that, so we don't go about getting angry at everything and expecting good results.

This was an amazing read, you write so well. Thanks for sharing! ☺️

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It was either fight or walk away for me at that time. I no get time for words. But I guess using words is another way to vent anger... it'll only flow be okay if one is in control.

Of course, it is not everytime anger can be channeled into good results. Sometimes, you may need to vent your anger in a reasonable way and then just move on from there.

Thank you for your kind words and amazing comment.

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Hello @olujay, I really like your publication and it is very well written. I identified with her because anger is one of the emotions that has cost me the most to control and that makes me helpless. I loved that you talked about the Bible, because although many dismiss or underestimate it, how many wonderful truths and advice are there, that if we all followed them the world would be a beautiful and peaceful place.

I believe that since we are born the world molds us towards anger, some of us manifest it to a greater or lesser degree according to our genotype and personal circumstances. Promoting selfishness, such as always looking for one's own interest and well-being, makes it possible that when this does not happen, feelings of frustration or injustice make negative feelings loosen in an exaggerated or uncontrolled way and it is as you say if we let anger seized us, the consequences were unfortunate and even irreversible in many cases, for others or for ourselves, which includes even life itself.

With your publication he was able to reflect a lot. Although I would like to say that today I can fully control my emotions, that would not be sensible or honest, but precisely with the help of the Bible he was able to improve and reinforce other qualities that help me little by little to reduce the negative impact of anger.

Thanks for your reflection. I hope you have a nice day! 🌷🙏😉

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La Biblia encierra misterios y verdades que muchos subestiman e infravaloran. Si todos pudiéramos vivir según la Biblia, el mundo sería un lugar mucho más feliz y seguro.

El arte de dominar el control de las propias emociones es muy vital para tener el control de la vida en su conjunto. Nuestras emociones tienen una buena manera de hacernos hacer cosas que normalmente, o lógicamente, no haríamos.

Me alegra mucho saber que la Biblia, la palabra de Dios, ha sido de gran impacto para hacer tu vida mucho mejor. Sin duda eres una madre que todo hogar necesita.

Gracias por este maravilloso comentario y aporte tuyo. Que tengas un buen día!

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Yes, throughout the Bible we have the advice of the one who created us and who judges us less harshly than we often do ourselves.

It is a privilege to be guided by her and her advice transcends the time, the culture, the age, the race, it is something truly wonderful because it is a universal language 😉🌷.

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It is quite sad how some us base so little trust in God, our creator, author and finisher of our faith. If we can have so much confidence in our earthly father that we know is capable, how much more the creator of the universe?

Over time, its truths reveal secrets that basically guide one through life. And the best part is that it never gets old. You can read the same Bible verse over and over for days and still get fresh revelations and ministrations for each day.

I am so glad you can relate. Good morning! (It's just 7amm here.)

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If the truth is that it is something wonderful, then it is evident that the Bible is not an ordinary book.😉

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You are right anger can be a tool for creation or destruction. Our response in the moment of anger can make or mar us. Controlling our response to anger is the best. Thank you for this.

Came from Dreemport

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It takes deliberate thinking and effort to master the art of controlling ones anger. It sure takes time and practice.

Anger is indeed a powerful emotion; powerful enough to affect change, be it positive or negative. It is left for us to make decision on what we would like it to be.

Thanks for poppin in...

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Sometimes we miss interpret the fact that anger has a positive side and that is because of the kind of people that we are around or are around us. In our world today, we notice that people use more of the destructive anger and that has built our thoughts to say that anger is completely bad.

I'm really so impressed at the angle you came from and I'm happy we share almost the same view on this topic. Like you, I believe all emotions has their positive and negative impact with anger included.

You were lucky you used your brain when that thug tried to pick on someone who was not his size, that's how to handle situations, that only proves how understanding you are over him but if you had exchanged words with him, people would have not thought you were going to school.

I dropped by from dreemport and I'm so happy I saw you, hehe.

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Aristotle said, "Anybody can become angry—that is easy; but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."

It takes deliberate effort to master the art of controlling anger, or any emotion, in fact. One has to come to a conclusion about what it is they want for themselves and make a decision that's in accordance with their aim. Would you rather lose your dignity to some individual or incident to gratify your feelings?
I believe not.

We sure have the same perspective on this matter, and I am glad you popped in.

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Wow, that quote says a lot about anger, thank you so much for sharing. You are absolutely right, as long as we have a goal or purpose, we will always channel our energy to the right things and at the right time. It's always better to suffer for some things now and enjoy the benefits later.

I'm so glad I stopped by, it's always a pleasure 🙏.

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It's always a pleasure having you around.

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Smiles, I'm happy it is, if not I would have chased you out of Hive, lolz. Thank you dear.

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Anger is one emotion that educates people. From my point of view, you can get involved in something that's not yours a because you are angry enough to fight for it and end up beaten badly. Or, you can decide that you'd take a deep breath and analyze things rationally before acting or lashing out. I have come at that point so many times. When it happens, I have to remind myself to think right.

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Haha... Anger is certainly an emotion that is capable of giving life-long lessons, maybe even scars too.

I will never take up a fight for someone with anger, especially when I have not even rationalized the preceding matter and then the repercurssions of my involvement. I cherish staying out of the bubble of trouble. It is much safer there.

Really, if one should stop in the moment of feeling angry and then ask oneself the question, "Will this yield any positive result, one that will better my life?" Then one may come to level-headedness and then make a logical decision rather than an irrational one.

Thanks for popping in and for your awesome contribution.

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You did good to walk away from that guy @olujay, who knows what kind of a day he was having also; so it's really cool if one can channel their energy towards both yourself and the other person. If you put your mind to it, it usually is just reason and logic that you can get out of those extremely unproductive encounters.
This post was obtained through Dreemport.

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I think did make the right choice to walk away. It seemed like the logical response.

Often times, there are logical and reasonable approaches and responses to unproductive encouters, like you have said. It just takes one moment to think and take that decision instead.

Thank you for popping in...

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