Why Do Other People Feel They Always Know What's Best For You [Making Decision Without Your Consent]???

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(Edited)

Should We Make Decisions For Other People Without Their Consent, If So Why, When, And How???

The truth is whether we like it or not decisions are made for us without our consent all the time, it's the fact of life, people with a higher power, older than us or our romantic partner and parents always make decisions for us without our knowledge because they can, want to protect us, didn't want to trouble us or something.

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When all of us were much younger our parents were our thinking cap, they decided everything we do, what we put on, friends we can visit, where we will go to, what hairstyle we were going to carry or be on, how long we were supposed to stay outside the house, when it is supposed to be light out and we go to bed, the decision for the shoes to put on and what kind of friends to keep.

When we get older it doesn't stop fully until you stand your ground, even at that they can still guilt trip to do what they want you to do, sometimes you have no choice because you love them and want them to be happy and also for them to be proud of you, my parents use to guilt trip me a lot until I grew a thick skin and stop falling every time for those tricks.

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Some parents want to live their life or loved profession through their children ( mostly in my country Nigeria), they tell you what they want you to study in school without your consent and don't care if you want to study that particular profession or not, you hear things like I want you to the first Medical Doctor, Engineer, Banker, Professor e.t.c in this family, so they can brag to their friends that my son or daughter is this or that, sometimes the decision could affect the child because is not what they wanted in the first place, they were forced into it.

Lastly, on parents, the case of finding a spouse for their children without their consent, like they will be the one in the marriage with the person they choose. for me, I have told my parents that they can't force a girl on me, for me to marry because like I said before they won't be the ones living with the person or start a family with the person, I have to choose for myself so I am fully aware of what am getting into and how to handle it because I cherish my peace of mind so much.

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Let's talk about the Educational Sector, University to be precise, most students in the university are not studying what they want and what they were supposed to study because the school decided for them, me, for example, I wanted to be an Architect but the school I applied for then, Federal University Of Technology Owerri, decided Urban and regional planning twice for me even if I passed the exam because I didn't do the right thing, which is actually the wrong thing (pay to get the course I wanted), So I ended up studying something totally different in another University, I eventually studied Computer Science and Mathematics because I love Calculation, you see how my decision was made for me without my consent.

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Another one is in a Relationship, taking or making decisions for your significant other always happens in the name of protecting you, in some cases, they actually protect you, maybe in situations where they think you can't handle the truth, so they keep the truth from you not to hurt your feelings, but that to me is worst because when the truth eventually comes out and comes out from another source, now the hurt you were preventing doubles because you lied to them and made them look like a fool outside, so for me I like the truth even if it hurts, I can heal and forgive you. I don't like someone lying to me or making decisions for me in the name of protecting me, because the truth is that the did have been done, so let me know or if don't want that then please don't create the situation in the first place in my opinion. I know no one is perfect and we all have flaws.

Although, life itself makes decisions for us without our consent, THANK GUYS FOR READING MY POST



21 comments
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Nice post. It brings to my mind the dilemma a man is in presently. He told me his wife after many hours of labour in the hospital lost their child and in order to protect her from emotional hurts and possible physical injuries, the man told her the baby is alive. He said when the wife has recovered fully he will break the news to her in the company of well respected family members.

Making decisions gives one a sense of independence, responsibility and ability to be creative.

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Wow, I hope for the best for the one you wrote about, because what he did was the was the right to do at that point.

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I feel like it is because most people especially parents feel like they are seeing things from outside which gives them a clearer judgement.

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I completely get you. All my life, my parents have made decisions for me. Now that I I bent on making my own decisions, they think I'm being a rebel. This singular act of people wanting to make decisions for other people has no end in sight. It's just the world we live in.

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It's funny how we standing up for ourselves and making decisions ourselves makes us a rebel in the eyes of our parents. Despite the rebel stuff I still stand my ground because it is important to make your own decisions yourself.

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The title attracted me and I enjoyed reading it. It's so common with people to just dictate decisions to you or just go ahead to take them for you. They just assume,it's the best for you

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Yeah and it's really wrong to me, it's best to let people make their own decisions.

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This is why disobedience is a social construct to keep people, especially young people at the mercy of those with the inherent need to control others whom they think are lesser in knowledge, age, power or influence.
We should all have the liberty to make our own decisions and explore our existence as independent humans not some mere extension of our parents or ‘superiors’.

Victor, this is a beautiful piece. I like your mind.

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Thank you, you get me 100%, we have a right to make our own decisions because anything that happens after we made our decision we can own it.

But if someone decides for us, we will blame that person when it goes south or wrong.

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Great post! I love it and absolutely understand your perspective. Since a decade I have configured myself to take as much as I can hear from others and I use the information so I can leverage to my advantage. We come across a lot of people who share their life experiences and very often, their advice can help or sometimes we feel we are being pushed a bit too much based on their decisions and ideas they try to share. In the beginning I was not paying much attention but now I make sure I listen and take notes as much as I can but int he end it's me who gets the final word if the matter is directly concerned to me only. Nice share!

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Thank you, I always pay attention so I make my own decisions, and not work with they say 100%.

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Absolutely agree. I would like to also add in this thread that sometimes we just have to pick up others opinion and decision. Like in some cases, we are left with no other choice but to pick up someone else decision because we may not have enough light/experience on the matter. I remember a few times i run out of ideas when it came to make a decision so i took the decision of my most trusted one my audience very subtly and it worked! A thousand of questions run through my mind amplified by doubt and multiplied my confusion so I needed a moment to process my selective hearing to pick up only the inputs I can use. My confusion and doubt sort of morphed to measuring the risks, the time of realization, costs and etc.. So my view on the topic is really to keep a "flowing" state of mind so that you can redirect energies and really leverage it to the best of your advantage to shape your decision.

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Absolutely agree. I would like to also add in this thread that sometimes we just have to pick up others opinion and decision. Like in some cases, we are left with no other choice but to pick up someone else decision because we may not have enough light/experience on the matter. I remember a few times i run out of ideas when it came to make a decision so i took the decision of my most trusted one my audience very subtly and it worked! A thousand of questions run through my mind amplified by doubt and multiplied my confusion so I needed a moment to process my selective hearing to pick up only the inputs I can use. My confusion and doubt sort of morphed to measuring the risks, the time of realization, costs and etc.. So my view on the topic is really to keep a "flowing" state of mind so that you can redirect energies and really leverage it to the best of your advantage to shape your decision.

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