Resentment - forgiveness is golden


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There was a friend of mine that we worked together in a factory back then we use to be a very close friends and we are like sisters because we do all things together.

Along the line, we are working together at the factory and our production manager asked her out but she never told me, it was someone that told my sister and my sister told me.
I was disappointed in her because she agreed to date him, that was not even my problem because it's her life and what made me feel bad was that she never told me.

What really pained me about the issue was that I don't like double dating because I was in a serious relationship and she was also in a relationship but I don't know how serious her relationship was. I know her boyfriend so that made me resent her because what she did make people think we are the same meanwhile we are not.


"My mom always tells me and my siblings that show me your friends and I will tell you who you are"


I never asked her and I just acted as if I don't know anything about it. One morning, she didn't come to work and I called to check on her then she told me she was sick.

After 1 week of her absence from work, I went to her house to check on her only to find out she was not living there anymore. I was so surprised that how could she pack out without telling me but still I wasn't angry since am not her mother.

I called her number severally but it wasn't reachable again for like a year I didn't know her whereabouts but I kept calling her line even though it wasn't reachable until one day she finally messaged me on Facebook with her new account.

I replied to her message and we both chatted for like an hour. I got to know that she left the country a long time ago. I congratulated her because it is not easy for her here so traveling to start a new life is a good thing to do.


Three years later, I was on my way to make hair for my customers when someone grab my hand at the bus stop. I looked back to see the person and guess who it was. My friend that travel out of the country for so long.

I was so happy to see her again, we stood beside the road and gist. While talking, she told me she needed a husband because her parent has been disturbing her to get married and that is why she came back to Nigeria to settle down.

I laughed at her and told her to calm down but she kept telling me that she really need to get married because all the young girls in their family have gotten married and she was the only one left. I remembered how she said, please just help me you know it's been a while since I left Nigeria and now that am back I don't know how things are going on here yet.

So I told her I will talk to someone for her because I have a friend who was looking for a wife as well. In my head, I thought of matchmaking them so I called the guy to tell him and he asked me to send her pictures so that he can see what she looks like and he liked what he saw.

On my friend's side, I sent her his pictures and she told me she likes him as well. I was happy that my friend was in a relationship but after 2 weeks the guy came back to report to me that she was too rude.

I messaged my friend on WhatsApp to beg her so that the relationship can work out meanwhile I ask her again if she likes him and she said yes then we talk about it very well. She assured me that she will be nice to him and that she just testing him if he will leave for any little thing.


My mind was at rest and I went back to message the guy to tell him what she said. In the night my phone rang and I picked it up, it was the guy who called and he just said, let me tell you the truth that girl is not your friend.

I asked why and he said, after you chatted her up, she messaged me immediately and she started saying all sorts of things like how could you report me to her? Even if someone wants to advise me to get married it will be someone that has 10 years of experience in marriage, I was shocked when the guy sent me the screenshot of their chat.

Please, can anyone tell me if I was wrong in wanting my friend to have a good life? Ever since then, I stopped being too forward on people's matters because she made it clear that it is only when she needs me she's always nice to me but seriously that really pained me and I resent her for that because all I wanted was her happiness but instead, she abused me of not being married yet so I decided to block her number on my WhatsApp.

After some months, I forgive her and messaged her back on WhatsApp. She apologize for all that she said though I know my place now.


Resentment to me is like taking revenge on someone because whenever I resent someone I feel bitter within me and that's not a good sign. Somehow, I do feel hurt and that was why reached out to her again.




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