How do you know if everything is okay with your children?

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In the last few days I've been bombarded from everywhere with information about child abuse, assaults, kidnappings and what not. I am scared.

I don't know where this world is going if our most precious - children - are being violated.

All parents with older children advise those with younger ones to start communicating with them early on about the things of life. This includes touches, gifts, "safe" people, friends and acquaintances.

In one social media post (I deliberately don't mention it because the information there is sensitive and private, and it was anonymous) a woman mentioned being pressured by a man close to her parents' family. In her fright she could have run away, but if it happened to a small child of 10 years old for example. Does she know what to do?

It is mentioned in many places that abusers are manipulators. They had no problem to confuse their victim like that, and convince her that all that happened was a delusion, a game or even that they have some mental deviations. This is probably why the "Stockholm Syndrome" occurred, where the victim feels sorry for the rapist/abuser and doesn't share what happened with anyone.

I'm with a toddler, he's a boy, but that doesn't mean he's somehow more protected by the monsters. Right now in my town they have identified 3 child abusers (I don't want to say the exact word for these people, they are people satisfying their sexual needs with children). Parents in our town are campaigning on social media to find them.

A 10-12 year old girl has been assaulted, a 25 year old woman has been assaulted and an unknown number of children have been scared by the sight of a man watching them from his car performing indecent acts.

One of the important things given as advice were:

  • Early on, speak with the real names of the genitals. We all have some words we use for intimate body parts in many cases they are "butterfly" for females, and for example "spout" for males.
  • Children need to learn that they should not talk to or take objects from strangers, whether they are female or male.
  • Children need to know that the only people who can protect them in any way are mom and dad. Yes, sometimes that may be the problem, but the percentage is many times smaller.
  • Even if an adult is perceived by the child to be a "friend" like an aunt, uncle or someone else they need to know that there is no guarantee whether that person is good or bad. Better to be careful than to be hurt/oppressed/depressed all your life.
  • Children need to learn that there are no secrets in the family. It's a safe place where anything can be discussed. If there is something that bothers them they can talk openly with their parents without being reproached.

My son is still young but I want him to be ready for anything. At the moment he likes to play with the kids, but when more people come around he gets scared and comes to me if we are out. If there are more than 2 adults he follows me, if I move to a place where he can't see me and I can see him he starts looking for me. He doesn't scream or cry but starts walking around to the last place he saw me. Hopefully in another year or so when he is talking better and understanding more himself we can both chat a bit. Tell him a little about the bad guys and teach him how to protect himself.

I end this unpleasant topic with a saying or even a joke to make the writing not so heavy

Him: you are so beautiful, weak and innocent, if someone attacks you what will you do?
Her: I'm my mother's daughter, that's why I'm so beautiful and gentle, but don't forget that I'm also my father's daughter who taught me how to deal fists!

Protect your children and yourself!

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Thank you for reading and have a gorgeous day!

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16 comments
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I’ve never understood how some people can be in their right minds and still do what they do to kids. I mean how can you an old man abuse a very small child who is not ready and should never go through such pain and nonsense. Sometimes I feel like the pain the child goes through excite them that’s why they do it.

Sometimes In our attempt to protect the kids we make them feel like they should never talk a to us about some things cause we will perceive them as bad. As you said, we need to talk to them early on. Make them understand what is means for someone to touch them inappropriately. The rights steps and no matter what you the parent will always be there to listen to them.

Sometimes using the real names can have a problems especially if you are in Africa where we believe some words shouldn’t be spoken out by heart in public.

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Does she know what to do?

This is a great question and we all as a mother or growing mother have to learn from this not to give out our children to abusers. Even if they are found in that situation, 5hey can easily communicate with us as mother..

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The issue of child abuse and assault has been rampant for many years and parents have a lot to do with their children at an early age. They say charity begins at home. The majority of what is happening out there starts at home. Every little thing count and many parents do not understand this.

I was explaining to my friend the need to start telling children about sex education right from when they are still young but she disagreed that it shouldn´t be so. I made her understand that if she doesn´t enlighten them, they will be enlightened outside and by then, it would be too late because she refused to teach them important things about themselves.

Many parents do not have a smooth rapport with their children which makes these young ones seek help outside and wouldn´t let their parents know what they are learning out there.

I am still a young girl and I promise to give my children the best education on what they need. Children get exposed at rapid rate things they see adult doing and if they aren´t cautioned on time, they grow up and start walking in ways where they are easily lured and abused in the end.

Parents and guardians needs to protect their children and themselves too.

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Child abuse is a terrible thing. Anything any of us can do to stop it should be done.

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It is very frightening. It seemed like it was less so when I was young but it was less spoken of as well.
If I had kids I'd send them to self-defense classes. I'd want them to understand when fighting back is necessary and how to do it effectively. They have to know it's okay to kick someone's ass who is trying to mess with them.
!ALIVE
!CTP
Your little guy is pretty

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!LUV

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I was trying to do a PS and say your little boy is pretty clever figuring out how to find you in a crowd.
Hit the reply button before I was finished.
Have a great day, @projectmamabg
!ALIVE
!CTP

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