Tales of the Urban Explorer: Pigeonshit Manor

“I tried three times to get in there, there was always some bastard parked at the entrance when I went”, @anidiotexplores explained to me with a note of exasperation.

He was talking about an old mansion that was little more than a shell, or so I was told. I had come across it by searching, spilled the beans and he had already done it!

Nevertheless, I still wanted to have a look, old empty derp or not. They all have to be explored and in hindsight I was not a minute too early.

After a hill walk due to lack of parking, we came to the corner where "some bastard" had thwarted my colleague on several occasions.

There was no sign of anyone but getting in could attract some attention as it was close to a busy road with unwelcome traffic lights.

Checking as best we could for cops and Karen's we deftly leaped over the 6-foot wall or at least @anidiotexplores did with me toiling as normal.

"The trees have been cleared away", exclaimed my comrade in surprise. I knew only too well what that meant.

It's always a pre-cursor for demolition, or at best renovation.

We quickly approached the old manor house designed in that typical architecture the Victorians loved.

…’I could envisage Lord and Lady Pigeonshit sitting down for afternoon tea calling Jeeves for a refill and to bring out the cream teas'…

Getting in was not going to be exactly tough and so I opted for the most obvious entrance, that front window.

Immediately I was surrounded by droppings from those flying rats who like so much to scare the shit out of me.

Pigeons don't take kindly to intruders and though they are quite terrified of humans take it upon themselves to fly out in front of you when unintentionally disturbed.

If anything was redeeming about Pigeonshit Manor, it was the fireplace. I loved the ship design that must have been lovingly handcrafted once long ago.

It's a shame some shithead has to graffiti over the top of it marring the effect. The manor house had been gutted but contained a better roof than most, or so I thought.

For this reason, I was astounded to find some very solid steps and a very accessible second storey.

Had someone tried to hang themselves?

TIP: Use rope that is a little thicker next time and make it shorter. I am not speaking from past experience I will have you know.

You must be quite desperate to try and bed down in here.

I have seen lots of shit but this one took the biscuit. It was thickly laid and I know @anidiotexplores has a particular aversion to this stuff.

Upstairs was not quite so solid, besides walking on all the dung and with the amount of light showing through I had little desire to enter this room.

A baby pigeon was cooing for its mother. You can coo all you like pal, we are not going to give you
birdseed.

Some upper areas of Pigeonshit Manor were strictly off-limits. It does amaze me how robust these old ceilings are if you simply walk around the holes.

No matter how easy the access point is, you generally can find one that is even more so. I do value the exercise and don't regret for a minute my climb through the front window that burnt approximatively 2 calories.

I sincerely believe cat burglars could use Urbex as a form of training before moving into a life of crime. This is not an advisory or educational post for budding thieves.

If you have managed to read this far and believe that the manor house is actually named Pigeonshit Manor well you can blame @anidiotexplores for the colourful name.

I would rather the real name be kept a secret thus securing some level of anonymity. It's the derpiest of derps and could well be a large pile of bricks by now unless by chance it is Grade Listed.

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