Tales of the Urban Explorer: The Llama House
Recently, ‘The Llama House’ has joined the TourBus. I’m quite annoyed that some paranormal idiots published the full address publically, resulting in a long line of coaches arriving the next day.
Shortly after a prominent GoonTuber visited did the same and failed to protect the address. @andiotexplores and I visited this Time Capsule in September 2021 and I'm quite sure this leak is not due to either of us.
Another report I saw was telling tales of murder that involved some lesbian sisters, and bestial sex in the 1970s. Probably all poppycock and bullshit intended to attract likes that would better suited to the Jerry Springer show.
Fucking likes..., they don't give you HIVE, do they?
Now my gripes are over let’s move to the content. Being off the radar (once), I was unsure of what to name this.
The house does have its own name, but I have pixelated it out of a couple of images. Silly names are better, and @anidiotexplores provisionally named it ‘The Llama House’ as a real Llama resides inside.
For sneakiness reasons, we parked a good 200 yards from the property and on the other side of the neighbour ensuring a silent approach.
I was dismayed to see the bushes had been cut back, which means the house could be wiped of its treasures. This has been happening to me frequently of late. Fuck around too long, and you lose.
Regardless, we snuck around the side and inspected the back noting the neighbour in his massive house was not gardening, getting pissed in the garden, or practicing nudism.
@anidiotexplores quickly found a weak spot and we inched our way through a small gap and once again I congratulated myself for not eating too many pies the night before.
Once inside we had to get past some tools of destruction and large pieces of furniture deliberately placed to impede our progress.
Climbing over this stuff would make a lot of noise so I had to breathe in and again squeeze past it all.
The newly squashed @slobberchops was feeling good. The insides of 'The Llama House' appeared to have not been ransacked, stripped, or thrown outside.
Still, I would not sit on the shitter; that is going a little far.
Antique furniture and half-beds were to be spotted. If you are very short, then a good night’s sleep could be had if you can tolerate the spores.
The front door hosted a lot of unopened mail, most junk crap but I had to have a look and see who lived here.
The Foster brothers need to pay their council tax and it's getting a little overdue at 4.5k in arrears. Officials will be banging on the front door in due time.
The sitting room was a little sparse, with the furniture colour shocking my eyes. Why on earth would you buy a Mustard couch?
The house was structurally quite sound, is a bungalow but there are exceptions to my claim.
More lovely antique furniture, no doubt stolen by now as the coaches arrive, some with delivery vans.
… and here is the Llama who sits patiently and waits for the next lot of explorers to visit casting its suspicious eye on all.
The upright piano was intriguing. Why were the keys missing? It looked in good shape otherwise, though a little moldy around the edges.
Rushworth & Dreaper of Liverpool was a long-surviving maker of musical instruments until their demise in 2002 and even had an association with Sir Paul McCartney.
I was wondering what this chunk of machinery was, surely not something dragged from the innards of the old piano?
Very comfortable if you like mustard and prefer a Spartan lifestyle.
That door has not been opened for some time.
The second bedroom had little inside, besides an uncomfortable wonky bed. One would wake with a terrible backache sleeping there.
I am not a fan of toilet images like @livinguktaiwan. The visual horrors I witness are truly unspeakable.
The nineties I would say looking at that style, though it took me until 2005 to ditch a similar-looking set. I didn't think to plug it in and watch some Teletubbies while finishing the explore.
I dread to think what this dresser looks like now.
.. as well as the finest bone china.
The Foster brothers liked their tea, and not the regular PG Tips variety.
You could catch something just by switching the tap on.
It looks ready to collapse looking at that foot.
The kitchen serving hatch, and no moaning about the food quality or the axe will be swinging. I like the style of this chef.
I am quite sure this still works, why wouldn’t it?
Leaving ‘The Llama House’, @andiotexplores secured the access point as well as possible. He has a commendable habit of doing that.
If Shorrocks are going to arrive then they had better be quick. We never saw a sniff of them.
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