Hola Hola

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Un día como hoy, 5 de marzo, pero del año 2015 me dijeron que era el momento de conocer a César, la verdad estaba feliz de conocerlo, el día 6 de marzo del año 2015, a las 9:20am nació César Gabriel.

No sé si ya conté esta historia, pero quizás hubo algo que no conté, como que la única expectativa era que no saliera oscuro de piel, dado que el papá de César es moreno oscuro. No por ser racista, solo que soñaba a mi hijo así como es él.

Estaba en la camilla con anestesia y busqué entre la lámpara que tenía arriba, el reflejo de lo que estaban haciendo en mi vientre, no se veía la panza abierta pero si manos, movimiento, pero de mi mente nunca se va a olvidar (espero yo), cuando vi hacia la lámpara, detenidamente, y lo vi. Vi cuando lo sacaron.

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Vi a mi pequeño, era chiquitico. Una bolita de bebé. La doctora lo trae a donde estoy yo, pero yo estaba más drogada que nada, y me dicen “dale un besito”, yo se lo di, pero la verdad no tenía fuerzas para abrazarlo.

Hablan de que la anestesia de la columna duele y la verdad que solo sentí fue un pinchazo y ya, la doctora si estaba preocupara que me moviera pero la asistente que tuvo en ese momento, dijo que yo no me estaba moviendo.

La anestesióloga, la tenia en la cabeza hablando conmigo, haciéndome preguntas, me imagino que una forma de mantenerme despierta, quería que le contestara y la ginecobstetra me dijo que no hablara más, sin embargo ella me hablaba y hablaba, la verdad me sentía un poco atormentada, supongo que por la anestesia.

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La enfermera líder me conocía porque es suegra de una prima que casualmente se llama igual a mí y ella me especificaba que estaba completo y sano, le pregunte el color de los ojos y me dijo que aún no los veían porque los tenía cerrados.

Al ponerme los puntos, me pasan a un cuarto de observación, supongo que para que se me pasara la anestesia, me pusieron una cobija para calentarme, no recuerdo si había una cobija que se calentaba, pero me estaban calentando. Quitándome el frio. Esa parte si la agradecí.

Justo cuando pase hacia ese cuarto, tenían a César en una incubadora, llorando, ya estaba vestido con su traje amarillo que con tanto cariño, le escogí. No quería que llorara, yo no podía hablar por lo drogada que estaba.

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No sé en qué momento lo sacaron para que lo conocieran, pero hay fotos de ese momento. El primero en pasar a ver como yo estaba, fue el papá de César, luego pasó mi papá y la enfermera me tenia como vine al mundo y poniéndome al bebé a amamantarse. Solo que en ese momento no supe hacerlo.

La verdad nunca supe amamantar sino luego de unas semanas, lo intentaba pero no tuve la guía necesaria, nunca me instruí y por eso no fui la mejor amamantado. César solo se amamantó hasta los 7 meses, lo intentaba y no quería. En esos meses, lo que decidí por un momento, fue amamantarlo en el día y de noche le daba tetero para que durmiera más horas.

Igual no dejó de despertarse de noche hasta luego de que cumplió 1 año, luego del año se despertaba pero seguía durmiendo. Dormía con nosotros para que no se parara tanto, ya teníamos nuestras poses y como padres nos adaptamos a que estuviera ahí.

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Esta semana es la semana aniversario de César. Mañana 6 de marzo del 2023, cumple 8 años siendo mi hijo, mi apoyo y mis ganas de seguir. Él es quien hace que ponga los pies en la tierra y me haga querer seguir luchando.

Déjale un mensaje de amor a César por su cumpleaños, que aquí él mismo va a responder.

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English

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The day César was born. Starting the week birthday anniversary

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Hello Hello

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A day like today, March 5, but in 2015 they told me that it was time to meet César, the truth was I was happy to meet him, on March 6, 2015, at 9:20 a.m. César Gabriel was born.

I don't know if I already told this story, but maybe there was something I didn't tell, like the only expectation was that he wouldn't come out with dark skin, since César's father is dark brown. Not for being racist, just that I dreamed of my son as he is.

I was on the stretcher with anesthesia and I searched between the lamp above, the reflection of what they were doing in my belly, I couldn't see my open belly but hands, movement, but my mind will never forget (I hope ), when I looked towards the lamp, carefully, and saw it. I saw when they took it out.

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I saw my little one, he was little. A baby ball. The doctor brings him to where I am, but I was more drugged than anything, and they tell me "give him a little kiss", I gave it to him, but the truth was I didn't have the strength to hug him.

They talk about the anesthesia of the spine hurting and the truth that I only felt was a prick and that's it, the doctor was worried that I would move but the assistant she had at that moment said that I was not moving.

The anesthesiologist, I had her in my head talking to me, asking me questions, I imagine that it was a way to keep me awake, she wanted me to answer her and the obstetrician-gynecologist told me not to talk anymore, however she talked to me and talked, the truth was that I felt a little tormented, I suppose from the anesthesia.

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The head nurse knew me because she is the mother-in-law of a cousin who coincidentally has the same name as me and she specified that she was complete and healthy, I asked her the color of her eyes and she told me that they still couldn't see them because they were closed.

When I put the stitches on, they take me to an observation room, I suppose that to get rid of the anesthesia, they put a blanket on me to warm me up, I don't remember if there was a blanket that got warm. Taking away the cold I did appreciate that part.

Just when I went to that room, they had César in an incubator, crying, he was already dressed in his yellow suit that I chose for him with so much love. He didn't want me to cry, I couldn't speak because of how drugged I was.

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I don't know when they took him out so they could meet him, but there are photos from that moment. The first to check on me was César's father, then my father came by and the nurse had me as I came into the world and putting the baby to breastfeed. I just didn't know how to do it at the time.

The truth is that I never knew how to breastfeed until after a few weeks, I tried but I didn't have the necessary guidance, I never received instruction and that's why I wasn't the best breastfed. César only breastfed until he was 7 months old, he tried and didn't want to. In those months, what I decided for a moment was to breastfeed him during the day and at night I gave him a bottle so he could sleep more hours.

The same did not stop waking up at night until after he turned 1 year old, after a year he woke up but continued sleeping. He slept with us so he wouldn't stop so much, we already had our poses and as parents we adapted to his being there.

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This week is Cesar's anniversary week. Tomorrow March 6, 2023, he turns 8 years old as my son, my support and my desire to continue. He is the one who makes me grounded and makes me want to keep fighting.

Leave a love message for César for his birthday, which he himself will answer here.

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Soy Ana Fuentes💜💜

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-Las fotos son de una campaña publicitaria a Bebé Funky, el fotógrafo fue Carlos Hernández. / The photos are from an advertising campaign for Bebé Funky, the photographer was Carlos Hernández.

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