Yay, it’s Valentine’s Day, love in the air, feet off the ground; that kind of a day. I too am enjoying the vibes in the atmosphere. Just kidding, I’m counseling; my day job and the blog weren’t enough and now I give people horrible yet useful life advices. Do you want some? Get in line.
Do you know that single people can provide the best relationship lessons? After countless seemingly doomed affairs (some mine and some others), I have become Relationship Yoda. For now, I’m proudly yodeling. Before I drift off to Neverland, I’ll tell you some of the useful stuff that I told my buddies. Caution, whatever I have written, I gave those opinions to my friends already; you may disagree but these are based on their lives and mine.
First, never shut your emotions. Some day we’ll all die. To the ones who are below 30 and feeling like death is near, you have at least 20 years ahead of you; do you prefer to lay in a deathbed and tell yourself “I should have been more alive when I was young, what a wasted youth”? That didn’t seem right at all, did it? Understand how you’d wish to go through at the end of the journey. I realize our dead bodies won’t care how we were able to save a bucket of emotions in this lifetime. That doesn’t mean you should move around and bang your head on the electric pole to get a more painful experience, that is plain ridiculous. Maintain a balance.
Second, there are two Major sorts of regrets. One of which is making mistakes and the other is not taking a step, usually, the latter is more devastating than the former. As many people as I have known in the past decade or so, the remorse of doing something is less than the guilt of doing nothing. But don’t think you should go around killing humans or other living things or commit treason. Choose wisely.
Third, let it go. No matter how severe the pain is, it will subside and allow you to heal. There are gazillion ways to die, some emotional pains if you pass then it unburdens you. If you hold on to it then that misery infects everything in your life. Don’t hold grudges, don’t carry on dysfunctional relationships. Let sh*t go.
Fourth, never patch up with the crazy ex. Nevertheless how wonderful the feelings were when you two were together, you broke up for a reason. And so, one of you will always remember the cause and the other will suffer, and eventually, things turn to rot and stink. Obviously, there are exceptions. That’s why the third piece of advice.
Lastly, you’ll lose people and it’s alright. There’s a saying “If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.” It’s okay, you’re not meant to control anyone; you can hope that they stay but that doesn’t happen. And they come and go. But then again holding the door open and letting people smear all over isn’t wise either; you’re not a hotel lobby.