An Account of a Negotiating Experience 🤝 Method of Principled Negotiation

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(Edited)

The importance of being able to negotiate for your rights, for the value of the quality of your work or service, for better conditions, business deals etc. have been on my mind for quite some time and every so often I'm hearing stories of people who don't quite have that skill under their belt yet. Though I'm no expert in negotiating techniques, I have come across some useful information.


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During my time "hitting the books" I stumbled upon this section in "Een praktijkgerichte benadering van organisatie en management" - written by N. van Dam and J. Marcus - where the authors mentioned the Method of principled negotiation developed by Harvard students.

Firstly, I want to point out that people have their own interests and goals and that everyone wants to ensure the best deal they can. Key factor is: how do you go about it? Going in guns blazing, submissive, wait and see attitude or with a prepared speech?


That's where the method of principled negotiation comes in, because it focusses on the values of the point(s) of contention. According to the above mentioned authors this method requires you to take these aspects into account:

  • Differentiate the individual from the subject matter. Don't identify yourself with your stance on the matter with a chance of straying off topic.
  • Keep the attention on the interests and not the position (of the other), which means to keep an open ear and listen where the other is coming from.
  • Come up with alternative options, while also keeping the interest of the other party in mind. It would be useful to prepare those beforehand by trying to place yourself in the other's shoes.
  • Insist on the use of objective criteria. Set a standard that's independent from the personal level and that's generally accepted.


And lastly, formulate your BATNA (Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement) before going into the negotiations. Which brings me to my own recent negotiating experience. Like I said, not an expert, but there was a time where I needed to reserve the best service that I could've for an activity with fellow members.

The person I got on the phone kept coming up with counter arguments why they couldn't ensure our seats, because the weekend was their busiest time, our group was too big to be seated together, we couldn't do our planned activity because we would disturb their other guests, etc.

I could've started an argument and/or hung up on the person, but I listened and I could see where they were coming from, but never the less I didn't give up and kept giving alternatives to those rebuttals. Ultimately they gave in and said that our seats were guaranteed.


That was one of my negotiating experiences with a smidge of theory. What about you, any experience you would like to share or your opinion about the subject? 🤓

Chasse into the backstage! 💃


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I don't have very much negotiating experience either but this sounds like a very common sense approach. Unfortunately some people don't listen to hear the other person's point of view. They only wait for their turn to speak.

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They only wait for their turn to speak.

True. Unfortunately I see this happen way too often, during debates in congress, but also during simple conversations. This is why I found it imperative to do an active listening exercise with a group of like minded youths.

!ENGAGE 10

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I have read the art of manipulation and it's a Great book on negotiation.

The things l learned were worth it, for the same challenge you faced with asking for a good service, you did the right thing.

Trying to quarrel or get offended by anyone whom you are trying to persuade isn't going to bring the desire results.

What you have to do is listen attentively to the reasons they are stating as to why they can't do as you asked.

Once you've gotten their why, you can find a counter,and proffer good solutions. Once the proffered solution favors them, they accept, everyone wins.

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I have read the art of manipulation and it's a Great book on negotiation.

Haven't read it yet, but is definitely highly recommended by peers who've already read it.

Once you've gotten their why, you can find a counter,and proffer good solutions. Once the proffered solution favors them, they accept, everyone wins.

That's the thing, it's about reaching an agreement and not just about winning.

!ENGAGE 10

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