Family Protection Appreciation Post #1
Re-introduction
It has taken me quite some time to feel confident enough to write this post. I've opened up about about who I am a while ago, without mentioning my old account name directly because I still want to ban out the person that made me leave in the first place. I will refrain from mentioning my old account's name, and I ask you politely to not bring it up either.
If you have been part of the familyprotection community on the other platform, you've probably read plenty of my contributions as I wrote there daily. I see familiar names in the feed anyway! Just recognize my story, and leave my old account name in the middle. Thank you! <3
Drastic measures
Leaving my old account was quite the drastic decision as I had a high reputation and worked hard to get there. But I also learned that the best way to not give psycho people a platform if they have they made you their target is to completely shut them out and make it impossible for them to contact me. I know this may sound very drastic for most people, but for a person that has left everything behind in another country to start over once, this was a much easier step to take.
Been there, done that
My motto was: I've lost everything once before, I've overcome that and build back up a life. I can do the same with my Hive account and reputation. I'm still the same person and have the same skills so I'm going to prove to myself that I can do this. And so I did.
Here I am, with a higher reputation than before (although that doesn't say much more than higher rep accounts voting me), I've made even more connections than I did on my old account, and guess what? By starting fresh, I let myself explore the platform walking in newbies shoes and discovered more awesome communities to be part of.
It wasn't all negative though!
In a way you could say that it has brought me good things. I left all online social stuff for several months. Deleted my discord, and only 3 people knew that I was gone for a while, I stayed in touch with them. Once I felt I was disconnected enough, I created a new account (this one) and started over. I did change my info in the intro a bit as I wasn't sure about who was reading carefully, so that meant when I came clean to Lind (@canadian-coconut), she didn't believe me, lol. I still remember how she made me leave a comment or vote with my old account to prove it to her.
Familyprotection & Linda in special
Soon became very important to me. This community made the difference in my life that I needed so desperately. Let me elaborate on this, when I found the other platform, someone pointed out to me that I should have a look in this community as she read so many similar stories as mine. I could not believe it when I landed there and discovered that I wasn't alone in this horror story.
I didn't have to carry this burden alone anymore, there were actually people that knew how dirty this world of CPS is in reality. I felt safe, and I felt like I found a home, a platform to share my story, to share experiences, to learn, to help others that needed a shoulder, and most important: to heal.
Grateful
I have expressed my gratitude in the past, but I will do it again today. Linda & all the great people that have been supportive over the years that I was writing for familyprotection every single day, you made the difference! I could not have been where I am today without the support I've had in the past being part of this community while communities weren't even a thing.
It's also where I met my dear friend @misslasvegas at the time, the connection I have with her is close to a sisterhood. She is one of the wisest power ladies I've ever met and the one that I bother when I need some guidance. She reminds me to stay grounded and seek help in natural medicines. Thanks for being you @misslasvegas!
Giving back
In the past I had to cash out my earnings constantly to survive the month as we left our home country with no savings, no belongings, we had to start over completely and this wasn't easy. I could not give back as much as I wanted back then. I decided that it's time to give back and will start writing here more often setting the beneficiary at 50% for @familyprotection as a token of my appreciation.
A good cause
If you haven't heard about this initiative until today, check out what Familyprotection is about by going through the feed and read the content published there. Family is what matters and we need to make sure we protect families from being ripped apart. Especially when this is done by malicious people that have a hidden agenda.
These stories that you'll find may break your heart, but it's reality, I'm living proof of that and I know how crazy some stories sound, trust me, but I also know that this is exactly why these people go to these extreme lengths to destroy loving parents, because they know nobody will believe them, setting back the loving parent by 10 steps instantly.
Our stories need to be heard, our stories matter. We will not be silenced.
Thinking about my children
When I'm struggling with something emotionally regarding my (oldest) children, these thoughts go hand in hand with the connections I've made in the Familyprotection community a few years back. I start to think back about how I managed to get through the toughest years of my life thanks to the community that had my back. It's not strange that today, when I felt emotionally again, I thought back about the community and started writing this post. I will share what my thoughts were about in the next paragraph.
Comparing milestones will soon belong to the past
As some don't know this important part about my family, I will shortly explain a bit about my children otherwise the story won't make sense. With me lives my youngest daughter that will turn 6 soon but I've also got two older children that (unfortunately) live with their father in another country. Without going into much detail, his horrible mission of taking them away from me succeeded and I haven't been part of their lives for more than 6 years now. At the time, my oldest was about 6 years old, so I've taken care of her until she was 6.
She was my first child and as other parents know, you compare milestones when you have another child. Knowing that my youngest daughter will soon turn 6 means that emotionally I have another chapter to close and that's the chapter of knowing that there are no more milestones to compare. This is it as I was excluded from everything else after that. Realizing this, makes me incredibly sad again, and I admit that tears roll down my cheeks while writing this. It's another chapter that will be closed soon and I can only cope, grieve and reserve a special place in my heart for the memories we've shared.
We've shared too little memories
My oldest will turn 12 in a few weeks, and these months are always those that my subconscious starts to process hidden traumas again and make me heal just a little more. I think, I cry (a lot), I get angry, I scream, I'm unreasonable to my loved ones, I write and eventually, I heal (a little).
To my oldest daughter I want to say:
"This wasn't how it was supposed to be, my beautiful girl, my proud and joy. Know that I fought until I couldn't cope anymore, but I lost. I wish you well and hope you are doing OK sweetheart. I heard you are going to the same school as I was at the time, and I heard you're studying hard. Although you're a big girl now, you'll always be my baby! And I love you, your brother and little sister so much. Maybe one day you will read this and know that you are always in my mind.""
And with those words, I will end this post. As I feel it's important to keep my story alive, you will find me here more often from now on.
Thanks for reading!
Credits
- Header Image
- The text divider is my own design.
Let's Connect
If you want to connect, you can give me a follow on my socials. For inquiries, you can send me a direct message on Discord.
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STOPCheck out the last post from @hivebuzz:
Wow, nice post
I’m not sure who your old profile was as I have a memory like a goldfish but that doesn’t matter really. What matters is that you are sharing your story which helps you and others. My heart does break hearing about what you have been/are still going through. All I can do is offer my support and good wishes. Currently, my sister is going through hell with the cps and when the time is right I may show her this post to help understand there are others out there who have battled on with everyday life even with such a heavy heart.
I do hope one day your daughter reads all you have written and comes to understand how you fought for her.
Take care and I’m sure we’ll speak on hive plenty in the future
It doesn't matter indeed, I do remember you though :)
But my memory is unfortunately very good, which means I remember all the bad stuff in detail as well. Wish I had more of a goldfish-one sometimes.
When I thought about writing this appreciation post, I browsed through the tag and saw your post about your sister. I felt heartbroken for reading that you had to experience this from this close.
Please do share it if you think she will take the step to write, I truly felt so welcome and finally understood after having only 1 person beside me (my boyfriend) that knew how the truth was for several years. Back then, when I started writing here, I said if I can only help 1 person that reads my story, it was worth it.
I believe that no medicine or psychiatrist could have helped me better than the way I helped myself by writing. On top of that, I've improved my writing a lot since, which has been valuable for other things as well.
I hope your sister can find a way to deal with this and if she decides to write here, I will be here to support her!
Take care! And thank you for your support..
It's strange how writing can help to purge some of the bad feelings. I never used to write much before I came to hive but once you start the ball rolling it's pretty unstoppable. I know it would help my sister too but at the moment things are so raw and she is kept so busy with the court hearings. I really don't know where she gets the strength from.
Hopefully, we can help raise some awareness on this subject and onboard others to do the same. The community is a little quieter nowadays but with a little effort I think it will begin to grow.
See you around @thisismylife
She must be a strong woman then, I remember how at some point, I seriously thought I was going to die from the pain and hurt I felt. I felt like my heart got ripped out and I had to keep going. It took quite a long time before I could admit to myself that my ex would not stop ruining my life in every way and would keep me from seeing them. He played games on a high level, let me tell you. I could not do this to my newborn with my boyfriend anymore, she was in the middle of it and I had to stand up and protect her.
They also tried to take her from us, but for once, I got a lady from the agency above CPS that actually looked at my documentation and actually believed me and saw my strength. Thank goodness they never took her from us, but within weeks, we left the country. I didn't want them to have any power over me anymore. It was the only way for me. I still stand by my decision because I could only change what I did, I had no power over his actions. And I would never have those either.
I think when you're in the middle of these hearings, starting to write is not the best time. I call it grieving what I had to do, I had to grieve because I lost two people so dear to me, not knowing what the future would bring, this was the only way to keep going. The pain will never go away, but the hurting will be "doable' at one point so that you can keep your head up, know the truth and fight to be the best version of yourself, no matter what happened in the past.
I wish the same for your sister <3
Although, reading your comment, I feel there is still a chance she might be able to turn things around, so let's go for that for everyone's sake. Poor children, I can't grab my head around these psychopaths (most of them seem to be that category) that just go above and beyond with their poker face as if they think in the best interest of their offspring. It's sickening.
When I used to write daily in this community, I had a mission to finish a book I started to share my story, but at some point I had to make a turn and focus on other things first as I felt it was too much to keep writing about this daily. I do still feel that sharing my story could help a few people and I'm committed to help bring this community back to life and start writing here regularly again.
I probably have to wait until my children are 18+ when they decide to live their own life, but meanwhile many others face the same struggles and feel alone, not understood. Hopefully, I can contribute to help them feel understood at least.
Take care <3
My sister has had to be strong and in the face of everything going against her. I worry how she will be when it’s all over. It’s cruel how they all play games and manipulate everything that is said. Psychopaths is a perfect description. I certainly think people like us with first hand experience make a difference when we share our stories, for the good of others going through this and for those who have no idea these things happen.
I’ll have to catch up with your profile and see what else you’re interested in. As important as @familyprotection is it would be nice to chat with you about something lighter 🙂
Will chat soon. Take care
@article61 I agree on the last part, it should not always be this heavy, right?
I know it sure feels like everything is when you're going through it yourself, but to make sure we can actually mean something for anyone by sharing/guiding them, I personally can't be focused on that 24/7, it will bring me down too much.
While I would like to focus on empowerment instead, even if things don't go the way it should/supposed to be, you can still heal and make something of your life. How far away that may seem at that time.
Let's agree next time we meet is in a lighter topic :)
Enjoy your weekend!
Agreed 100%, and while I do appreciate having you around to support @familyprotection I also look forward to a different topic of conversation with you ❤️