When you are alone & God is silent
Yesterday i ate my body under the moon,
the evening feeling like goodbye.
It was gentle,
the caress of red on my lips,
the taste of the different colours of iron on my teeth.
I watched the sky bruise itself to please my tight eyes.
The saddest thing was i could not cry & i did try.
I sat on a stone,
a pebble in the eddies of the evening breeze.
Someone stretched forth a hand curved into welcome,
invited me to walk into grace like a baptized infant.
There was no one home when i knocked that door
& when i pushed hard,
it swung in & darkness muttered its welcome.
I will go back & forth like a swing,
waiting for lift off
but i know this life won't let go of me.
I was smoking my prayers & God was further than high.
I left the dust on the floor the way i found them.
The chairs are broken & the shelves are empty with disuse.
I speak of my head here.
I speak of repose & silence.
Yesterday, i swallowed my tongue
when i was asked what was wrong.
I said everything but the truth.
The saddest thing was i did not cry.
