[WE114] If I could do it all over, there is just one thing I would do differently!

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My Toxic Mistake.gif

"The one thing I will never regret in my life is..."

Getting Divorced

If there is really one thing I do not regret for a second it is getting divorced.... Let me just be very open and honest, if you think that life would be better if your partner would die,,,,get out!

Of course you do not reach that stage without going through a very long and painful period.

Everything looks so amazing when you meet, the two of you are totally on the same level. You never met anyone that fitted so well. This must be the one and so the two of you make family plans.

The two, become three and there you have your family. My goodness what an amazing thing that is. Now her health has never been perfect, but after giving birth she had more energy than ever before. Those years feel so far away on that day that she blocks the door as you try to leave the toxic environment the room has become.

You ask her to move, once. She laughs at you. You ask her a second time, she tells you "not before we are done talking." You tell her you are done and ask again to move away so you can go out and get some air.

She just has those big black eyes, and that shadow of a grin. She loves the power she holds when she tells you No again. You will not accept that powerplay and you grab the doorknob and try to open the door. She slams it shut.

"You will need to pass me first," seriously is this how grown-ups play? Fine you are done playing games, You grab her by the shoulders and push her aside, she tries to push back and almost stumbles, that stumble allows you to walk out.
When you come back she says you used violence and mistreated her....and this was just the start of the downward spiral.

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Ups & Downs and more downs

Life has ups and downs and so do relationships, they balance out....but when you no longer see the ups. When you work like a dog at the office and at home, when you hardly receive any recognition and spend most of the weekend discussing and arguing about nothing instead of doing fun things with your kid.

A kid that sits downstairs watching tv while knowing that above his head his parents are arguing again. A kid that hardly does any fun stuff with his mom, because with the relionship getting less and less her health does the same or at least that was what she made everyone believe.

So that kid sits ther waiting on his dad, the only person that has time to do fun stuff with him and he needs to keep waiting because mom is claiming dad. Not letting him out of her room till she gets what she wants.
That´s when it happens. that time I left her room wishing she would die. I would never leave a chronically sick partner, but it would be better for all of us.

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Wishes do come true

Than a miracle happened, she fell in love with a younger guy. In a couple of weeks all her energy was back while she had been in bed 4/7 days a week for years. Now she has the energy of a young mare, how love can balance chemical imbalances is amazing!

In two or three months she decided to move out, leaving the guy that took care of her for years and starting anew, with a new guy in a new place and making her old guy pay for it. Just like she made her ex pay for her moving in with me twelve years ago.

It took a large part of what I inherited from my favorite grandma, a woman that was more important than me mom. That money, hence my Granny bailed me out of this marriage.

If there is anything I will never regret, it´s that.

Now I have time for my boy, for me, and for life without being manipulated by what probably was a slightly narcissistic personality.

I don´t regret marrying nor getting her pregnant, but I should have made her fall in love with another guy sooner. Our son deserved so much better...and maybe so did I.

Guns And Roses - I used to love her

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Hope you enjoyed my entry for #weekend-engagement [WE114]

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14 comments
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Of course I do enjoy your story...
I just hope you continue to get better each day.
Thanks for sharing with us.

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Oh boy, I remember the tiny bit of manipulating behavior we saw from her. She was good at what she did but unlucky for her, we just walked out of a situation dealing with these type of personalities closely for several years, so she didn't fool us.. she tried to make you look bad.

I think her falling in love with another guy was the best thing that could happen for you and your kid, this was never going to change into something healthy once her true colors were out there. I know exactly how it feels to be treated like that and seeing that evil grin on someone's face having total control, glad you got out!

!CTP
!1UP

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I found your post on Listnerds. Man that does not sound nice. I hope your boy and you now have a better position and I hope you make your way! I wish you good luck with it!

!ALIVE

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It´s much better for all of us nowadays!

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I am so glad you are starting a new phase of your life which will be much happier. Thanks for sharing.

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Mental illness is a horrible thing to live with--for everyone in the household. !CTP

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man, it seems we all seem to have gone through these bad relationships. glad to see you found some light at the end of the tunnel.

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(Edited)

Oh my God!!! Is this like a soap opera? I can't even begin to imagine. It's a great thing that you moved on. Infact, I'm speechless sorry... I'm just happy for you. Honestly.
Came in through Dreemport

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So Sorry 😔 for the experience
Wishing you the very Best 🙏
Reading from @dreemport

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Firstly I was amazed to see who has written it because I was just reading and reading and then I saw it written by you 🤩 can't tell you how happy I felt. About the context, I guess she has already done with her ultimate and precise emotions so falling in love with her was not a toxic mistake. You can't stick with the things which are meant to be broken one day.

So instead of having regret after year why not do what's suitable right now hehe. The pain and black eyes I saw few around me and I wonder how much such ladies have to suffer for calling someone "our baby" or "our family". Well done mate.

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Thank you, really nice comment😊

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