I wish I could speed up time... Sometimes
Every kid has this desire to want to be a "grown up". They express it differently through their words, actions and sometimes random habits that they picked up from watching adults. It's cute but sometimes I wish I didn't wish for this or grow into this.
I'm conflicted about my desire to speed up time. Before I started writing this post I could think of a few reasons why speeding up time would be an amazing idea; moving on from this phase and seeing what the next phase of my life holds in; love, finances and family. It's an understandable desire.
However, I think about how amazing it was being a kid and I wish I could slow down those moments and you know, enjoy them a little more. I wish I could go back to when I was 17 and just enjoy life.
I wish I could go back to that time and just slow down the clock and live. I wish I could go back and make a few bad decisions and be less afraid of the consequences.
Why I want to speed up time
Speeding up time is a desire I have thanks to my early adulthood years. It's a desire that stems from a need to get past this stage and know whether the things I'm doing and not doing right now are worth it.
I want to see the consequences of my current actions quickly and know what to do next. I want to know the outcome of my current relationships. Will they leave some permanent hurt or will they save my life?
The thing is, what if I speed it up and I realise I haven't really lived once again? What if I move on from this point only to get to another point where I'll look back as I'm doing now and say "I wish I had lived a little more".
Why I would want to slow down time
Time waits for no one... But what if I could make it wait for just a little bit?
I want to be a kid again. I want to slow down those days when all I cared about was playing and eating. I wish I could slow down those hours and days and just savour them like a sweet taste on my tongue.
As humans, we're so indecisive and that's okay. Nobody has all the answers and that's a good thing. It's just so disappointing how it's a one way street, you know?
You can slow down time or speed it up but what remains constant is the fact that time keeps moving forward. There's no way to move ahead, see your mistakes, come back and redirect your steps. All you can do is keep going.
It's a good thing but doesn't it just make you wonder sometimes?
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