Nigeria is a toxic place for anyone to live. There's so much negativity and letdown every day it's bound to get your mental health in the mud.

Topping the regular day to day toxicity is the treatment of women in the general Nigerian society. You can't miss it once you're a lady. You can just sit doing absolutely nothing and have shade thrown at you for something entirely unrelated to your inactivity.

The worse part about this is the fact that the indults come mostly from other women. It's like your gender is just set to bring you down for absolutely no reason.

The trend

Recently, a Nigerian celebrity called Simi started a trend called the #nobodylikewoman challenge.

Ladies post their pictures in black and white and then write a statement that another lady has said to them that hurt.

As expected, the majority of these statements throw insults at details of a woman's life that concern her busy and societal expectations.

"Why should you be happy when you're 40, unmarried and without kids?" "When will you get pregnant?" "You work too hard, men avoid independent women". These and many more.

I've been amid older and uninformed ladies when they make these statements and really, their lives are no better.

Falling in line with society and doing exactly what society demands doesn't make you free from societal shame. Especially as a woman.

Yesterday, my mother got mad at me because she asked who's ready to marry me and said I have no one. She still thinks I'm lying. Why would I be single when she expects me to be married in 6 months?

Right after marriage, she'd expect me to call her in 10 months to come to take care of her grandbaby.

Society expects this of me. My decision to live and let the wind decide my direction is unwomanly. It's a tough pill to swallow.

You automatically gain respect the moment you have a ring on your finger. I mean if you can get a man, you have to be a real woman. Not being interested in marriage makes you an outlier. You have no sense and are letting the "Western world" influence you. It's not the way of an "African woman".

Well, I'm sorry but I'm not sorry. The greater the pressure, the greater the resistance. I was not presented with a rule book at birth and even if I was, I failed to read it.

The Nigerian woman is constantly fighting back. But the same Nigerian woman holds her back. It's a tough fight.

---