Of Life and Nightmares.
A few days ago, I woke up extremely scared. I had had a terrible dream, my heart was racing, and I sank into sudden sadness. It's really unpleasant, it took a long time before my heartbeat returned to a normal rhythm. But, the sadness was still marked there and it left me thinking many things.
Sometimes when I wake up like this, I feel somewhat empty and very lonely. I live as a couple, but many times he does not notice my bad dreams, and my pierced night demons. But, putting that aside, let's continue...
In my dream, my father had died and lay bathed in faded blood on the bare earth. Terrible context and horrible moment. A few years ago, my father lived in the neighboring country; He comes to Venezuela seasonally and the stay is short (although very very pleasant). I really miss him a lot, I have never gotten used to his absences and many times I have been saddened by longing for his presence. When he is there, and his health is complicated, they are hard days for me. I am afraid of losing him, I am aware that my father, already at his age (60 years), is not a robust young man.
I also believe that when we give many turns to the law of life, it weakens our soul. Silly pain brought about...But, in the long run we have to accept the hard way.
Recurring Nightmares:
My nightmares can be called recurring, I always dream that the people I love die. It's a very bad feeling. I have read about it and according to the theories, it is that I have pending things to solve in this regard, or I also have developed fears in the face of losing them.
It is here, with my fear, where my subconscious acts and sends me terrible messages in a nightmare. Also according to theory, nightmares are normal in a range of 1 every three months. But, they happen to me much more often.
Perhaps the origin:
I am a somewhat emotionally closed person, I am not very affectionate. The hugs stun me. I don't really know how to hug someone else, I feel like a rag doll and arms hang down. I think my nighttime fears reside in the fact that there is much I want to show, because I love the people around me greatly. But I just can't do it, it's like everything is stuck and I'm not giving anymore.
It is difficult to solve my nightmares, due to the supposed origin that I have mentioned; I have had this problem since I was a child and at this point in my life (I am currently 28 years old) it is still a constant. I'm just guessing, I haven't really gone to a specialist or broad on the subject.
But, trying to find other excuses, I could say that my nightmares (and still based on theories, not made by me!) That you are may have an origin beyond the subconscious. I read that nightmares also occur due to high stress or fatigue situations. I am a very active person, both mentally and physically and I miss a lot most of the week, in addition to spending my days baking and cooking. In addition, I go shopping, write, clean the house, take care of the children and more...
Normally my time to sleep is at 11 or 12 at night, and then wake up at 3 in the morning and work; there my day begins. Many times, when I don't take a break, on the weekend I tend to lighten everything up a bit; minimal self-care issues.
But, going from here and to one side of the topic: Nightmares are not pleasant, and the heart with its palpitations shows it. In one of the last nightmares, the sadness and shock was so great that I woke up with a severe stomach ache. I don't know, but after having a couple of ulcers I have suffered from severe pain when emotional charges stir a lot in me.
It is complicated, many times dreams leave us thinking during the day. Other dreams sometimes come true, we live real moments that we have already seen in dreams, it is there when the feeling of having lived them appears.
Despite the consistency of dreams, contexts or perhaps nightmares, they are an important point in our life and in how we rest when sleeping.
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Thanks for your attention, kindly: Ana Pialejo, under my username: @pialejoana.
big love from Brighton UK!
Thank you!