The Doors to Self-Confidence - A Personal Insight
~one of my photos in a gif
Last night I listened to one of my favorite albums by The Doors, and one lyric caught my attention:
"People are strange.... when you're a stranger... Faces look ugly... when you're alone..."
It reminded me of an experience I used to have pretty often, back when I first started learning NLP...
Maybe you know what it's like...
Walking into a room full of people you don't know...
Heart pounding, palms sweating...
Dizzy with all the self-criticizing thoughts, racing around your head...
Back in those days, for whatever reason, sometimes I found that I lacked the confidence I needed to break the ice and start a conversation. I would scan the room, longing for connection...
but I felt isolated in my own head...
Unsure of what to do or say.
Unable to make the next move.
ANY move...
And the longer it went on, the more uneasy I felt.
It's embarrassing, but..
Often I would leave the room without much more than an awkward "Hello"... just so I could escape the uncomfortable feelings I was experiencing...
Later on, I would replay the scenario in my head, over and over again...
Each time beating myself up more and more... berating myself over what I could have done differently...
Driving myself crazy, trying to change something that already happened (And we both know how well that works)...
And the most frustrating part was that I didn't always have this anxiety.
See, sometimes I would walk into a room and just feel... ON.
For some unknown reason, I knew just what to say and how to say it, without even thinking about it.
It was like the critical voice in my head missed the bus, and got left at home.
And in these moments I felt 100% confident in my own perspectives and opinions...
Ideas come quickly and naturally.
Asserting myself was a breeze.
People laughed at my jokes.
Making new friends was easy... and before long I had more valuable connections, and more opportunities than I knew what to do with.
It felt EASY... and I knew that it SHOULD feel like that all the time.
Yet sometimes I would freeze up, unable to access that Confident part of me that I KNEW was there.
And it drove me CRAZY! I wanted to feel confident 24/7...
And that desire led me to learn all I could about NLP, so that I could put myself in complete control of my inner state.
And before long, I created a powerful cocktail of NLP techniques...
That I could use - with mathematical CERTAINTY - to trigger a state of supreme confidence in MINUTES.
And it works consistently.
Every time.
I won't teach or preach anything. Maybe at some point, I will be offering some tools for anyone to use.
## At this point, I am much more interested in what do you do to have more SELF-CONFIDENCE in different situations.
Looking forward to reading your answers,
@regenerette
Thank you for sharing from your heart.
To answer your question, I often try to make sure I wear an outfit that I believe to look and feel amazing. When I was younger, I appears had to purchase something new, but I’ve learned that it doesn’t need to me new to make me feel great.
Wearing something that looks great, or having just got my nails or hair done makes me stand talk with a “hello everyone” confidence. I instantly feel as though I have something to offer that takes attention of me specifically.
Unique nails can be a conversation starter,or a fun dress might help someone approach me and break the ice without their having to over think things. I could imagine that a deep red pair of stilettos might get the shy ladies in a corner talking to each other: “Wo I love her shoes!” “The red ones? They are gorgeous “
Second to that, I always know that almost everyone else might be uncomfortable and filled with anxiety. That knowledge makes me feel more assertive and confident because we are all just humans. I like help others feel comfortable by provoking group conversations.
Truth me told, I wish it were a pajama event. 😂
There's a certain non-verbal language (auditive filter) in the way that we dress, in the colours that we wear, in the manner in which we walk, talk, laugh, write about things.
I find it amazing that this article made you open up, Ana. And I have to thank you for that. For reading it and for allowing me and others to have an insight into your life.
With gratitude,
A.
PS. Doors are one of my go-to choices