The Fright Of Funding One's Life With Uncertainty
So I have managed to secure an apartment, not that it's my first choice apartment, but after searching for 6 weeks, and being rejected countless times for not having a 9 to 5 job and also for being a young man, I decided to settle for a house in an estate. The electricity here is quite mediocre.
The Estate is owned by a group of oligarchs, so they can afford to power their houses with solar systems and generators, which makes it unnecessary for them to move a motion to the Power holding company to increase the electricity rate in the estate.
These are wealthy people, and it's hard to see a person who doesn't own a car in this place, either they're renting or they own a property.
The Price For Choicelessness
This wasn't my first choice because of the electricity, but this was the only place where the agent and the owner of the house were willing to accept people who aren't 9 to 5ers there was no sort of financial discrimination whatsoever.
The house was quite pricey, but we were already beginning to spend too much on agency, time, and transportation. I said "we" because I decided to partner with a friend to pay the rent.
The house was pricy and this was why I decided to get a person to share the rent with. It's a two-bedroom apartment ensuite, now the challenge lies with getting furniture, a generator, and other things.
Leaving For The Unknown
The challenge is quite crazy and for the first time in my life, I'm scared of leaving my family to face the real world out there. I mean... I'm trying to maintain my finances, and make plans for setting up my dream business in the middle of next year.
All these big plans with little or no money are overwhelming. It feels so scary to start one's life with uncertainty. I'll be 29 in September, and I appreciate how un-bad my life has surprisingly turned out.
I've battled one of the craziest health challenges and because I've created a limitless mentality it's made it possible for me to thrive where others are comfortable with just living. I'm scared that I might run into bankruptcy, taking care of life's expenses.
an image of the new apartment
The Insecurities That Comes with Being Broke
What if I get anyone pregnant at the moment, can I financially handle this? I'm kidding, I won't do that. But we have to understand that when we're limited in our finances, we tend to imagine the worst-case scenario.
For example, being financially free makes people quell crazy thoughts regarding expenditures, but when people don't have money, they'll be imagining getting into financial emergencies where they won't be able to spend money.
While I'm positive about experiencing some massive change in my life in two years or three, I'm quite concerned about the present, my survival, and my ability to stay afloat. I'm experiencing crazy difficulties, the thoughts of being broke and on the streets.
A Place Of No Return
This imagination keeps me up at night and motivates every hustle I've managed to muster. However, everyone that's uncertain of the future has crises in the present. I try to think that if I was biologically fitter than I am, I might have not had the motivation to chase the unthinkable.
Sometimes I make stupid, blind, and crazy money decisions but at the end of the day, it turns out my fear of loss and failure is why I tend to overly worry. I've gotten to that stage of my life where every mistake comes with a repercussion.
This can be consequential. I like to think that I've begun my journey and while it's scary for me, I hope it turns out well.
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@Josediccus, your brother-in-pen & heart
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