She sucked out my joy, and threw me away.
How to proceed with the fog and the blur?
My heart's eye can't stop the sobs of dismay.
Now all that is left of me is my shell.
There once was in me, some love to be shared,
But, into this pit, that was how I fell.
Our vows to hold tight... none of them were lies.
Did I know what lies, a few stabs ahead,
Would I still have tried to live for what dies?
PS: I'm not the story, I'm the writer...
Years ago, during my university days, I was going home from a Karaté training session. On my nightly way from one far corner of the city of Tunis to another dangerous corner, I got stuck in a public transport station, waiting for the tramway.
A stranger came, and sat next to me. The smell in his mouth, the dreamy staring eyes, and the heavy breaths... all screamed "He is drunk!"
He addressed me saying "My friend..." oh, am I your friend now? "can I tell you my story? maybe you can advise me..."
Yeah sure, it's not like I have better things to do now... "OK, let's see if I can help"
"I had a fiancee" oh come on not another love-victim! I hope the tramway comes soon and interrupts us "we loved each other... she lives in Sousse (a city 200 Km away from Tunis) so we mostly speak on the phone and we don't meat so often" a distance relationship? no wonder things went wrong... "One day, after our usual intimate talk, we always call each other 'love' and 'darling' and other sweet words, and that last time was no different, but I suddenly lost contact with her afterwards"
Ok this is a new one for me "Why? Did something wrong happen to her?"
"A week later, I went to her house in Sousse to see her and find out what happened. Her father told me she doesn't live there anymore. I found it strange, I asked him why. He said she lives with her husband, in their new home"
"What? this is insane! And she never bothered to tell you or at least to break up with you before she gets married to another man?"
His next words made no sense, with the sobs and the hums and the swears... but his body language was so plain. He's still hurt, deeply.
I'm not qualified for this situation. All I could say to him was that he should get over he, she didn't deserve him. She broke her oaths. She was probably after the new guy's money. You, my friend (yeah I used the word friend), will find someone better than her, and you'll be laughing at yourself for crying over this treacherous girl.
I don't know if my words made any difference to him, but I couldn't do any better. His story, though... it got stuck in my memory, to manifest itself years later in the shape of this poem.