In the Land of Dreams

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(Edited)

I’ve been feeling a little under the weather for the past 48 hours. Fever, wet cough and a runny nose; does not totally match with the symptoms of COVID yet still I’m in a self-quarantine, trying to avoid spreading whatever I have. Called our family physician and he said to take proper rest. Yesterday, I drank cold beverages like a madman and now paying the price with being stuck in my home for the next 336 hours.

But first, let me apologize if this piece feels fast-paced, not making sense or something. My brain is not functioning as I want it to, but my fever just went down a bit after almost a nine-hour long slumber, and I don’t know what to do to keep myself busy at 3 in the morning. So here I am, writing with a blank mind while my fingertips move on their own.

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To be honest, I have a very twisted relationship with fever. That’s because I don’t hate it like I’m supposed to, like everybody else does. A disease is a disease, but I kinda dig the body temperature being all abnormal. Nausea that comes with it makes me feel all high and stoned, drowning in the sea of ecstasy. As if I am Santiago, completely woke, and the universe slowly is unravelling its secrets in front of my eyes. The only problem is, I can’t see or go any further after the herald of truth reveals it all. No matter how much I try the mystery always slips through my fingertips. I either wake up, or my dream slowly morphs into something else, and I start doing weird shits.

To give some modicum of context here, let me tell you what I’ve been doing for the past couple of days. My thesis paper is due within the next month, and a portion of it is about what the root of terrorism is. Now, this is a very controversial topic, and I don’t want to hurt any bodies beliefs, and so I will not write about what I think. Talking about such issues needs a vast amount of knowledge to remain politically neutral and accurate, which I do not have. So I’ll leave it at that. And then, this happened tonight!

I have been doing massive in-depth research into the middle eastern crisis’s, to see why and how it all went to such extents where millions and millions got killed after 2011s Arab spring. I was watching a vice news report this evening about an inside peek into the territories Islamic state once used to control when I slowly fell asleep. I can’t precisely define the state I was in to be ‘sleeping’, it was more like a trance; A condition where the subconscious portion of your brain still remains awake. I was both dreaming and experiencing whatever was happening around me at the same time. Almost comparable to a divine vision that was happening in real-time.

The fascinatingly vivid fantasy I was thrown into was happening in the middle of a desert in between an ongoing raging battle—bullets ricocheting around and RPGs going off in the far distance. Usually, I can tell if I’m dreaming or not but today that didn’t work! Being very scared for my life, I was looking through the tiny bullet holes in the window trying to find an escape route when somebody kicked the door in—a whole platoon of men in camo uniform, shouting at me, asking to get down. At gunpoint, they checked my fingertips to see if there were some residuals of gunpowder or marks that could indicate me recently firing any arms. But they didn’t find any such thing! So they politely asked me to wait outside while they check for arms and explosives around the house which astonishingly matches my own in real life. I was getting more confused by the moment when I woke up! And as if it was some practical joke that rich Hollywood kids pull on each other, I found myself standing at my front gate! To check if I was dreaming or not, I pinched myself, but I was not! I was sleepwalking!

But, This isn’t the first time something similar has happened!

I always bragged about being healthy, not getting sick and vice versa! The only time something major had happened to me was eye styes, and I was around 12 then.

At a very early age, I was diagnosed with styes in both of my eyes. These are zits or pimples that form under and around the eyelids. After a while, mine got so big that I had difficulties even opening my eyes. A date for surgery was fixed, and I was under the scalpel for about ten or so minutes. What took years to develop, this doc took them out from both of my eyes within minutes. Some heavy dosage of antibiotics was prescribed. That night, I came down with a fever of 104 degrees more or less at times. Mum was taking care of me through the whole night while I lay barely conscious in my bed. The next morning, I found myself in another room.

Back then, I lived on the first floor while my parents were on the ground floor. The room I found myself was reserved for guests. My eyes were bandaged, but a tiny bit of visibility was available which allowed me to to see that I was not where I was supposed to be. I asked my mum if she had brought me here. She looked at me as if I was making fun of her. later she told me what had transpired the previous night. My mum went to sleep as my fever went down a little. But, I went to her room around midnight to ask for warm water as I was in no shape to boil some by myself. She had also fed me. And then I slept in the guestroom! But, to date, I can’t recall anything from that night.

Right now, the fever is slowly coming back. I can feel it, the chills going up and down my spine while nausea takes over and my fingertips go numb! Doc prescribed me a small dosage of Diazepam to take the edge off. Another attempt at grasping the truth of life lay ahead. And this time, I might succeed!!

For

“He who fears he will suffer, already suffers because he fears.”- De Montaigne



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11 comments
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Nausea that comes with it makes me feel all high and stoned

Dude --__--

At least you never sleep walked naked! Or did you?

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Never! This happened to me only twice! Or i did and i dont remember!!

But, why did you say at least tho!!:vv

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(Edited)

Kafranbel, Syria

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.latimes.com/world-nation/story/2020-02-28/war-claims-a-revolutionary-radio-station-in-syria%3f_amp=truer

Also please listen to this podcast. I hope you will find it interesting (Act two)

https://www.thisamericanlife.org/667/wartime-radio

Also since you have fever I thought listening will be easier, adding a short tune...

From this American Life and WBEZ Chicago, this is Serial

This is a Global Tel-Link prepaid call from Adnan Syed, an inmate at a Maryland correctional facility.

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(Edited)

Let me apologize first dada, for it took me this long to reply. I was in no shape to even hold a smartphone let alone turn on my laptop.

Radio Fresh's take on trying to help anyway they can realy struck a nerve somewhere in me dada! I mean who knew a radio could be used to such extents!! Loved the podcast! 22 min seemed a burden only half an hour ago. But now i think ive found my most favourite thing to listen to while i recover. Thanks:)

P.S. Couldn’t find the tel link call dada!

P.P.S loved the tune! Kinda catchy. Or it might be my fever speaking:vv

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what the root of terrorism is. Now, this is a very controversial topic, and I don’t want to hurt any bodies beliefs

Yes bhai, we all know more or less but difficult to explain sometimes. However, get well soon bro.

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The thing with such controversial topic is bhai, if you start expressing what you think, youll never know when to stop! And that is scary! Might harm our social health if we are not careful enough!

Thank you bhai!

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You are correct brother. Thanks.

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