Small Things in Life

I love nothing more than healthy bowel movement in the morning! To me it is much more therapeutic psychologically than a fidget spinner is for a person with obsessive compulsive disorder!

I like to feel sadness for what it is worth once in a while! No matter how absurd that might sound, I do like it! Getting sad while the corners of the eyes tear up is what makes happiness worth it! Well, you can metaphorically compare this lament statement of mine with the light and darkness analogy; light has meaning to it because darkness exists and so in any of the naturally occurring polarity, the repulsion between two poles are what makes each other's existence meaningful! So i say again, I like sadness for it is worth it!

I like a good old walk through the woods! Many moons ago, thus habit of mine manifested itself for a reason that is inherently very different now! I used to fill my pockets with tiny glass marbles and hunt birds! A barbaric ritual perhaps, but i was free! I was free from judgment! I was free to walk home with dirt on my good clothes and no one would think i'm crazy! I had freedom! So I traverse alone in the wilderness, only to feel that long lost essence of freedom for one last time!

Once in a while, I like to sit on the dirt, right beside people whose clothes reek of almost fermented sweat and have tea! I like to hear their stories, the unspoken novellas that the world might never know existed in the fabric of time! I like to explore and lose myself in their stories! How their little girls or boys wanted a toy which was two expensive for them to buy! So when out of pity, i try to buy the toy for them! Yet they proudly decline my pity and instead they trade panta vaat for it! Ah, isn't that the most inspiring thing in life? Someone whose hands are rock hard from manual labour, yet hearts as big as the sun and softer than marshmallows!

I like to shower in the rain! Not because I want to feel like a heroine from a superficial romcom! But because when it rains, the wet soil smells like life itself! From which we were born eons ago, and to which we have to return someday!

I am a narcissist! That is because sometimes I imagine the world to have been destroyed and turned into a hard boiled wonderland where no one but me alone lives! Where equilibrium is not tipping at any sides and where no one thinks of themselves as better than everyone else! Where no wise old man tries to show me the path to enlightenment! Where only I rule! And unicorns fart rainbows only after my command! Does that make me a narcissist? If it does then I am one! Or else in a world with no purpose, how can someone live among the masses of a seemingly infinite population knowing fully well that they aren't special and die away like a withered willow tree that no one remembers or never will!

_{বাইরে এবং বুকের মধ্যে
হিয়ার ভেতর...হিয়ার মধ্যে
হারানো এক হলদে পাখি উড়ছে বসছে
দুলছে, যেন শৈশবে সেই দোলনা খেলা...
হায়রে আমার বয়স হয় না!}
---Rudra Mohammad Shahidullah