Few funny stories

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Helicopter Ride

Walter took his wife Ethel to the state fair every year, and every time he would say to her, “Ethel, you know that I’d love to go for a ride in that helicopter.” But Ethel would always reply, “I know that Walter, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.”

Finally, they went to the fair, and Walter said to Ethel, “Ethel, you know I’m 87 years old now. If I don’t ride that helicopter this year, I may never get another chance.” Once again Ethel replied, “Walter, you know that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.”

This time the helicopter pilot overheard the couple’s conversation and said, “Listen folks, I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll take both of you for a ride; if you can both stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won’t charge you! But if you say just one word, it’s 50 dollars.”

Walter and Ethel agreed and up they went in the helicopter. The pilot performed all kinds of fancy moves and tricks, but not a word was said by either Walter or Ethel.

The pilot did his death-defying tricks over and over again, but still there wasn’t so much as one word said.

When they finally landed, the pilot turned to Walter and said, “Wow! I’ve got to hand it to you. I did everything I could to get you to scream or shout out, but you didn’t. I’m really impressed!”

Walter replied, “Well to be honest I almost said something when Ethel fell out but, you know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars!”


Granny Hustler

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because "it’s a lot of money." After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president’s office. The bank president then asked how much she would like to deposit.

She replied, "$165,000.00." and dumped the cash out of her bag on to his desk. The president was of course curious as to how she had come by all this cash, so he asked her, " Ma’am, I’m surprised you’re carrying so much cash around, Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, " I make bets." He then asked, " Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, " well for example, I’ll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha", laughed the president, " that’s a stupid bet. You could never win that kind of bet."

The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, "I’ll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square."The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is so much money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 am as a witness?" "Sure" replied the president. That night, he became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror checking his balls, turning form side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.

The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president’s office. She introduced the lawyer and repeated the bet. "$25,000 says the president’s balls are square." The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."

Just then he noticed the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the hell’s the matter with your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 am today, I’d have the bank of Canada’s president’s balls in my hand


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