Same Book - Different Chapter: Weekend Freewrite -11/23/2019 - Single Prompt Option


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"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost."

The Dalai Lama

@Zeldacroft @freewritehouse

Weekend Freewrite -11/23/2019 - Single Prompt Option

Sometimes we forget what it was like to be teenagers growing up and challenging our parents. Because we wanted to do things our way, we thought we knew what we wanted and how we were going to go about accomplishing it.

Our parents usually just shook their heads and warned us what would happen if we didn't follow their directions. And don't it let it turn out they were right, and you totally messed up. Then sometimes they would say, "We told you so. Why do it this way when that way is easier? Next time, you'll listen to us. Why do you want to make things harder on yourself? We've traveled that road before, and we know the outcome."

That may be, but sometimes we just wanted to branch out and do something different. We weren't trying to make things hard on ourselves. We intentionally went down a different path just to see what was at the other end. A different outcome.
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Yes, it's true that our parents traveled the paths we were about to step onto and venture down the unknown roads to wherever we thought was best for us. And to be honest, we did get a few "I Told You So" reprimands.

I also remember how it felt to be so totally and utterly wrong. But it was a learning experience. A lesson that no one else could teach us.

So when I had my own family, I promised myself that I would not do the same things that my parents did as far as telling my kids how to live their lives. Of course, we directed them in their younger years.

I remember when my son went to college. We dropped him off and everything seemed fine. We were happy on our way back home. We were already planning our return for when he would walk across the stage and graduate like our oldest daughter.

He was to come for a visit in two weeks. But after a week and not hearing from him, we started to wonder what was going on. He told us everything was fine. Then he eventually admitted during the end of the first semester during the holiday break that he didn't feel college was for him and didn't want to return. We were bewildered. We wondered why he went through the motions of applying and preparing to go once he'd been accepted.

So we urged him to give it another semester, and he'd change his mind. But he didn't. He said he had other plans for his life. It took us a couple years for it to really sink in that he was serious about not returning. Of course, we just knew he'd have a hard time in his life without higher education.

As parents, we were heartbroken that he didn't take the path we thought he should. But we had to step back from the situation and decided and let him live his life as a grownup. As I remember that episode in our lives, it reminds me of a poem I love by a famous author:

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The Road not Taken
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
...
...I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by
Robert Frost.
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I always wonder what his life would have been and where would it had taken him had he obtained a 4-year degree. But that path would have been familiar doing what others did before him. He wanted to go his own way.

No, he didn't get the 4-year degree we thought he should. He told us he was happy with his life. The one thing he did do that was a surprise to us was that he talked about the important of getting a higher education to his younger sister. He even suggested she attend the college that he didn't finish from.

Life is so funny sometimes the way things turn out.

He didn't make the amount of money we thought he should make. He didn't get the type of job we thought would suit him perfectly. He didn't marry the person we thought was right for him.

What he did do was he got a job that was perfect for him; made enough money to take care of himself; and found the right person for his personality.

And up until the day he passed away several years ago, we never had to say "I TOLD YOU SO!"

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Thanks,
@justclickindiva

Happy rest of the week everyone with whatever you are working on.


SOURCES:
a) JustClickin logo created at CoolText.Com
b) Unless otherwise noted, all photos taken by me with my (i) Samsung Galaxy 10" Tablet, (ii) Samsung Phone, & (iii) FUJI FinePix S3380 - 14 Mega Pixels Digital Camera
c) Purple Butterfly part of purchased set of Spiritual Clip Art for my Personal Use
d) Separator Lines Free ClipArt Belt from Public Domain Vectors & ShadedLine from ClipArt-Library
e) All Tribe logos used with permission of Tribe Discord Channel admins.

  1. Source1 - Image by kirkandmimi of Pixabay
  2. Source2 - Photo by Dan Meyers of Unsplash
  3. Source3 - Poem by Robert Frost. "The Road Not Taken" from Poetry Foundation

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"We told you so. Why do it this way when that way is easier? Next time, you'll listen to us.

Yeeeeah that was not the case with me LOL! I always had to hit my own head against the wall (sometimes more than once) in order to learn anything haha!

Great freewrite sweetie!

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@jaynie. Me too. I was always bucking my parents. They cringed when they saw me coming with brows together getting ready to ask questions they couldn't answer. They used to say, here comes Why :)

Appreciate your comments. Take care.

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lol at "with brows together" hehehehe!!!

My pleasure sweets!

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I think when we become parents, we forget that as individuals, we knew we had to learn things for ourselves, but we forget about that and feel a need to protect our kids, so we try to keep them from being exposed to all of the "bad" things.

It seems to be a never-ending cycle.

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Hi @free-reign. You are correct. We try to do our best to teach and guide and protect them from the evil in the world. But sometimes life has to teach them as well. We have a saying in our family that if someone doesn't want to take advice or hear you out that they'll learn from the "University of Hard Knocks."

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We live our lives as best we can, and sometimes we mess up, and sometimes we do't; perhaps it's all a lottery, or perhaps it's just a life to be lived..

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Yes, @wales. It is just a life to be lived. And lived to the fullest and the best of your ability without anyone interfering. I believe you are most happiest then.

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Gently guiding is one thing, telling children what to do normally ends up with things not going right.

Life takes too many different twists and turns we adapt as we move along, nice reflecting over things as they happened @justclickindiva we never fully understand why.

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@joanstewart. you are correct. trying to tell kids or anyone for that matter never what to do never has a good outcome. And it's not for us to know why things happen the way they do. That's left to a higher power.

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What a great written piece here!
I was always and still is a natural rebel and burnt my fingers many a time, but how else would we learn?
Today much older and I hope wiser, I got a full degree just to make my mom in heaven proud, but as I thought in my early years, it is still just a useless piece of paper.
Life is the real trainer and following your own road is a great thing in my own opinion. It also teaches independence and if you learn from the lessons of your mistakes, then you end up contented!
Not perfect mind, but rather very experienced to such a degree that you can help others that struggle on their own roads in life.

So great of you guys never to have told him the words; "I told you so"

Blessings!

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Hi @papilloncharity. You are correct. Higher education is just that. Real life starts once you leave educational institutions. And you learn more than it ever could teach you. But one thing we liked about all our kids was their independent and fun-loving spirit.

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It is that independent and fun loving spirit that will take them far in life my friend.
Blessings!

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Things usually turn out alright. 😊 💕

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@redheadpei. Yes, they do if we just step back out of the way sometimes and not try to fix everything.

Thanks for stopping by and viewing my post. Appreciate it.

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My heart goes to you.
Reading your post I could only imagine the tears it may bring to you and having to share this with us.
Being a parent is the toughest job ever.. esp when we ave to sit behind and watch our children decide on their journey and we have to respect it whatever it may be

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I am glad that your son was happy with his life - that is what counts. But I am sad that he passed away. My heart goes out to you.

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@justclickindiva - it's hard being parents and not being able to correct what WE see as mistakes our kids are making. All we can really do is be there for them when they make those mistakes.

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Hi @blueeyes8960. You are right. It is hard stepping back and let them make their own way. But there is more than one wa to accomplish something. It may not be the way we would have done it, but it got done. nonetheless.

Thanks for visiting my post and taking the time to view it. Appreciate your kind comments.

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Thank you for sharing this very nice article. I agree it is not always necessary or even the best to do what is the norm, sometimes it is better to be yourself and do things differently. If you do it your way, you should be happier in the end. Further to this one can only really learn through experience.

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@rynow. You are correct in that one can only really learn through their own experiences. Some things you can't teach children. And they wouldn't believe you anyway. They have to see and experience it for themselves. Then you can have a conversation about it from their perspective.

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Oh no, that's so sad to hear, but you were wonderful parents to refrain from saying that horrid phrase I told you so.
Good on you!
My heart goes out to you though @justclickindiva!

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Hi @lizelle. Thank you so much for your condolences. It was a few years ago, but it never goes away. Children shouldn't go before their parents. But we don't know what the inner workings of our higher power has in store. Just trying to be the best we can be and learn from situations is all we can do.

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What a beautiful story @justclickindiva, I am sorry you lost him, but also happy that he got to live his life the way that he wanted it, it's awesome.


This post is AWESOME!

It has therefore got a manual 100% upvote from @thisisawesome, for the Awesome Daily Upvotes in category Freewrite, I give out 1 such vote in that category per day, plus 3 more in other categories, and your post will also be featured in todays Awesome Daily report for more visibility.

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This really tore at my heartstrings. Congratulations on not being that parent that said: "I told you so."

It is so hard to let them do their own thing when you know they aren't doing it the way you would have. Do we ever do it the way we were herded towards? To watch your kids struggle in ways that you know weren't needed hurts, but, I can say that if they are happy, does it really matter?

I am sad for your loss, but, happy that he felt he was in the right place in life. I cannot say enough for self-satisfaction in life.

Brilliant write with a powerful ending.

Congrats!

!tip

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Thanks @dswigle. You captured exactly my feelings during that time. But then I realized that what we thought was not enough, he thought was perfect. You can't measure your ideas against someone else's hopes and desires. Everyone runs at their own pace.

Thanks so much for stopping by and viewing my post. I really appreciate your kind words.

Have a great day, and take care.

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You were the very best parents he could have had. Your ending has left me speechless though. A terrible loss it must have been. My love to you all.

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That makes you awesome parents! It really is hard to step back and let the children make their own decisions sometimes. I explain to my children that I try hard to be behind them and only grab them by the scruff of the next to haul them out of impending harm, but otherwise let them do their own thing. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but everyone comes out of it having learned something new. Good for you, and good for your son.

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Hi @wwwiebe. Thanks for your kind words. Yes, it is hard to step back knowing what's ahead. But then I remember doing the same thing to my parents. That why I said that sometimes we forget. You don't realize how they are only trying to help until you become a parents

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Lovely remembrances, though they are bittersweet.

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Hi @jayna. Yes, they are. But you have to take the good with the bad. He and younger daughter were a blast and a terror when they were young. They used to keep us ROFL with their antics. She misses him the most.

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PLEASE NOTE: I would like to thank everyone who took the time to stop by and view my story and share your own experiences along those lines. I appreciate it very much. Yes, a parent's job is tough. And watching your children grow up to adulthood is a wonderful thing. We only want to protect them from the pitfalls we know are ahead because we've traveled that road before.

All adult parents and everyone else can understand that.

But then, like we did, children have to make their own way in life. And along the way, they are bound to experience new things we didn't and learn something we didn't know because it's another generation further along with new outcomes.

I appreciate all the outpouring. Everyone, you and your family have a great holiday season and rest of the year.

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